96LostWanderer
Active Member
Must be honest, I relapsed more after my last post. Watched a programme with sexual content on Netflix, so I’ve added Netflix to my laptop blocklist now.
Journal for my reboot
- Thread starter 96LostWanderer
- Start date
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 1st 2021
No porn today - Day 1
No porn today - Day 1
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 2nd 2021
No porn today - Day 2
No porn today - Day 2
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 3rd 2021
Avoided relapse today - Day 3
Avoided relapse today - Day 3
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 4th 2021
Avoided porn today - Day 4
Avoided porn today - Day 4
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 5th 2021
Very big urges to look at porn today. Went to pages with porn images a few times but always clicked away. So I avoided a proper relapse. But feeling v. tempted right now.
Day 5
Very big urges to look at porn today. Went to pages with porn images a few times but always clicked away. So I avoided a proper relapse. But feeling v. tempted right now.
Day 5
Peeking like this is a big problem because it will create bigger urges which usually results in a full blown relapse. When you get an urge, you need to immediately recognize it and urge surf. That but use the rabbit hole technique which is focus your mind on something else entirely and think about that thing thoroughly like say you have an urge and so you look at a table think about the color what it could be made out of, who are famous table makers etc. Peeking always got me. That initial urge is important.
96LostWanderer
Active Member
You’re right, because I relapsed again last night after the peeking made my urges stronger.
I’m on day one again now and I’ll try this rabbit hole technique.
your mind will try to convince it is only a peek, but it is never only a peek. It always leads back into the addiction. There is no such thing as just peeking. This is good to keep in mind also.
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 7th 2021
Pleased to report no porn viewing today.
Will now come off the internet for the remainder of the day and check in tomorrow.
Pleased to report no porn viewing today.
Will now come off the internet for the remainder of the day and check in tomorrow.
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 8th 2021
No relapses today - Day 2.
didn’t feel too many urges
feeling motivation to tackle this problem again
No relapses today - Day 2.
didn’t feel too many urges
feeling motivation to tackle this problem again
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 9th 2021
No relapses today - Day 3
Worked during the day then visited a friend in the evening.
No relapses today - Day 3
Worked during the day then visited a friend in the evening.
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 10th 2021
No relapses today - Day 4
Had a few strong urges earlier in the day. But I made a big step this evening by going to my first SAA meeting. I actually found it better than I was expecting, so I think I’ll go to some more. Seeing other pretty ordinary guys struggling with the same sorts of issues as me was a big revelation. I didn’t know what to expect when I went in but the sense of support and togetherness was quite touching. I’m glad I went along.
No relapses today - Day 4
Had a few strong urges earlier in the day. But I made a big step this evening by going to my first SAA meeting. I actually found it better than I was expecting, so I think I’ll go to some more. Seeing other pretty ordinary guys struggling with the same sorts of issues as me was a big revelation. I didn’t know what to expect when I went in but the sense of support and togetherness was quite touching. I’m glad I went along.
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 11th 2021
Big urges today but managed to avoid relapse - Day 5
Big urges today but managed to avoid relapse - Day 5
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 12th 2021
Again, felt quite a few big urges to look at porn but avoided relapse using my willpower - Day 6.
Also avoided drinking alcohol at home for a number of days.
Again, felt quite a few big urges to look at porn but avoided relapse using my willpower - Day 6.
Also avoided drinking alcohol at home for a number of days.
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 13th 2021
Relapsed on day 7. Watched a TV programme with sexual content and it spiralled from there.
Relapsed on day 7. Watched a TV programme with sexual content and it spiralled from there.
96LostWanderer
Active Member
Last night was terrible. Stayed up most of the night bingeing after a week clean. This is even after going to my first SAA meeting a couple of days ago. This addiction is really making me miserable. I’m doubling down even harder in fighting this thing from now on.
One step I am going to take - place my phone and charger in a different room of the house and close the door on it when the rest of my family go to bed. That way I won’t be alone with my phone. I have a blocker on my laptop already but no such thing seems to exist for iPhone except the in-built content restrictions function which is too easy to reverse.
One step I am going to take - place my phone and charger in a different room of the house and close the door on it when the rest of my family go to bed. That way I won’t be alone with my phone. I have a blocker on my laptop already but no such thing seems to exist for iPhone except the in-built content restrictions function which is too easy to reverse.
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 14th 2021
Avoided porn today - Day 1
Locked my phone in my car when I got home from work to reduce temptation.
Avoided porn today - Day 1
Locked my phone in my car when I got home from work to reduce temptation.
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 15th 2021
Avoided porn - Day 2
Avoided porn - Day 2
96LostWanderer
Active Member
October 16th 2021
Avoided porn - Day 3
No strong urges today
Avoided porn - Day 3
No strong urges today