Cuckold thoughts and my situation. Please HELP! Literally dying for help..

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anonymoussaand

New Member
This may be a slightly long read but it’s because i want to let you know all the details as I’m in DIRE NEED for HELP. So I’m a brown guy around 22, Pretty muscular and a handsome dude. I’ve never had any issues flirting with and picking up girls. In fact they’ve even admitted to me that I was intimidatingly attractive. However for the last couple years (not many chances to get laid) I’ve been into watching cuckold porn which gives me peak erections.
A year ago I had a relationship with a nice girl who loved me with everything. Because of me being used to cuckold porn, I wasn’t able to get peak erections during sex like before but still managed well and she even claimed that I was amazing and her best in bed right from our first hook up. I have strict parents and they had made me travel away and live with them for a while because of my partying and sexual encounters. And on top of that It was also difficult to get back as the pandemic made International traveling harder. We continued dating long distance for a year until she couldn’t handle anymore with me being unable to head back. So we broke it off peacefully and I even realized I was with her for the emotional support she gave me during this depressing period (parents, etc) rather than fully being in love with her.
Now I am finally about to leave my parents place after securing a job and am happy about it. But the issue was that during these 6 months after breakup, I can’t stop masturbating to thoughts of her with other men. Moreover living with such controlling parents I haven’t been able to hook up or rebound with anyone else either. Meanwhile she’s hooked up with tons of dudes and I can’t stop picturing it when I masturbate. I started watching small penis Cuckold porn (sph) even when I’m pretty hung and have been called the biggest they’ve had by multiple lovers. My mind has become disgraceful and I cry when I’m in my senses!!! Now that I’m finally leaving my parents, I am afraid how my sexual encounters in the future would be as what really turns me on now are cuckold thoughts about her or in general. I am sure I’ll be able to pickup women but am utterly scared about how I’ll perform sexually as it’s been over a year without intercourse.
Also when I don’t masturbate for 3 days, I feel great erections during normal masturbations (imagining real life girls, celebrities, watching the usual normal porn etc) and don’t need cuckold porn/thoughts for my peak erections. So I guess the answer is to abstain from masturbating till my mind gets back to being turned on by usual things. But my issue is that the depression and boredom from living here forces me to masturbate for relief. Please please provide me with ways to abstain even during this boredom. And i hope there is a surefire way I can get rid of these thoughts?
I thank you for patiently listening to my dilemma. I would be so grateful if you could offer advice on reprogramming my brain and not get distracted by cuckold thoughts. I absolutely despise them and I cry looking at how physically, I am attractive, muscular, good in bed and endowed but still my mind is reduced to these trains of thoughts.

PS, Asian parents are a pain, especially when you lag behind a year in education. Thus the reason for them to keep me at home without distractions till I graduate and secure a job. Pretty depressing year and a half but I’m looking forward to the next phase of life soon when I can be independent
 
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rewakened

New Member
It's been documented that the human brain can turn pain (specifically pain that we don't think we can stop) into pleasure and it becomes a fetish.
I would guess that you've had relationships go sour in the past (been cheated on or rejected), or you just feel a total lack of control due to your parents. Because you can't express or feel those emotions (for a variety of reasons), and because you feel like you can't change it, you sexually act out in a way where you have control of the scenario.

It's all reversible though. You'll need to get on a pretty high streak and I'd also recommend Patrick Carnes workbooks "Facing the Shadow" is the first.
 
Not a Rabbi

Not a Rabbi

Active Member
Are there projects or activities you can do to keep busy in your current situation? Especially things that help with depression like working out or anything you can do that gives you a sense of accomplishment. You could also try finding something else to "fantasize" about in place of sexual fantasies. I have been working on a story and I'm often pretty excited about it, so I attempt to redirect my brain to thinking about that instead of fantasies that lead to me masturbating.
 
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ErnestAr

New Member
Don't try to find how your situation is unusual, find how it's similar so you can solve it, that's what I do.
I know this section of the forum is about porn addiction, but there is a close correlation between pornography addiction and a promiscuous lifestyle. There is a great podcast episode about addiction by Andrew Huberman, someone even posted it a couple of days ago in this section, the guest is an expert in helping addicts. I highly recommend watching it before you get too conserned. As I understood, you have to completely isolate yourself for 30 days from any triggers(pictures, items, messages etc) and let your body stabilize the hormones. Don't look for a hook-up, relationship, connection, go full cold turkey, clear your mind and spirit.
I also know with porn it's absolutely true you go into the harder stuff to get more rush, so it's nothing unusual.
Also great point by "reawakened' on fear into kink transition, but I think is our attempts to increase dopamine rush, once again highly recommend the podcast episode and cold turkey, be your own man for a while.
Don't get concerned about the minute details, it's the same addiction brother, and don't rely on WILL POWER, don't fight the sin, run from it. Get blocking software, I recommend Covenant Eyes and Focus me. You will find the way, I believe in you.
Lastly, more attention to science and podcasts and less to people on the net my man.
 
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