Adventure of a lifetime - The sobriety chain

L

legal_alien

Member
Stayed sober last night as I had decided.
Indulged in the morning though. It wasn't autopilot. I decided to go about it.

My next short target is to go a night and a morning staying sober.

Will post here after two days.

Also, will start readings Your Brain on Porn today.

Be here later ✋🏻
 
L

legal_alien

Member
I went a night and morning without indulging until finally deciding to tonight. It was extremely quick. I'm somehow glad it was quick.

Work has been extremely tiring off late. And I feel fatigued and burnt out many times during the day. I've noticed I start to feel this more when PMO reduces. Probably one of the things that's bound to happen when you take your buried head out of the ground. To see reality for what it is!

I'm happy for the fact that my PMO has reduced to by a great extent in the last two week. I used to watch 2-3 times in a day. Now it is 4-5 times in a week. Albeit small this change matters to me. And also makes me wee bit happy.

My next target is to go a morning without it.
Just tomorrow morning.

Hope everyone is doing well. I feel very positive that a change will come through perseverance and persistence.

Keep going guys!!!
Adios ✋🏻
 
L

legal_alien

Member
Hey guys

Regularly posting here is helping me know where I stand, remind me of the journey I've undertaken, and also of its importance.

Setting small targets is helping me exercise control and break the "autopilot" mode PMO often sets us on.

I next aspire to go a night without PMO.
Will begin reading YBOP today.

Stay strong all you guys.
Be back here tomorrow ✋🏻
 
L

legal_alien

Member
They're always around us. Our demons.
Although, in this case, it is really just us.
So I gave in. Twice. Went on full autopilot since last night. Staying up till late watching a movie is always a risky affair.

It's alright. I feel extremely fatigued. Poor sleep quality, poor lifestyle, years of PMO have left me feeling weak and drained. Have a busy day ahead of me but I wish I could sleep. Relax.

I have decided to go the night without PMO.
Three things I'll follow today,
1. Drink plenty water.
2. Limit sugar intake.
3. Sleep early.

So yeah... that's about it for now.
See you guys later. ✋🏻
 
L

legal_alien

Member
Have PMO'ed more than a couple of times in the last two days. I keep giving myself these small challenges that I feel help me recover from the autopilot mode that PMO tends to set me on. One such challenge was to delay the act by 30 minutes. I did. And then I engaged. But the point was exercising that control to delay it. I feel it helping me gain a certain authority and exercise a control over my otherwise frantic desires.

Setting up a new small challenge today. No social media day. I won't check Instagram or Facebook until tomorrow.

Keep going guys !!
See yaa ✋🏻
 
L

legal_alien

Member
Have gone into autopilot since two days.
Today for the first time I gave up on the challenge I set for myself.

Nevertheless, here I am. Restarting.
So today, the challenge I undertake is to contemplate throughout the day about my life and write 10 points why I started this journey.
 
L

legal_alien

Member
1. The first thing I thought of was how PMO makes us believe we're the victims when infact we're the doers. As time passes, this idea gets implanted deep within our minds and we play the victim card subconsciously and why wouldn't we because it means we're the oppressed and helpless. It takes off of us the responsibility to turn things around. Whereas if we realise everything is happening because "We're Doing It", that brings accountability and thus a responsibility on our part to do the right thing.

2. The second thing I thought of was how PMO wires our brain to enjoy intimacy as a mere spectator. In third person. The thought of watching the act slowly becomes more arousing than doing the act. As a result, PIED, DE etc.

3. It strips us of our ability to live in the present. To act in the present. Looking back in my life I can think of so many wonderful things I would've done, achieved had I not been living in the illusory world of P.
 
V

vidvan13

Active Member
legal_alien said:
1. The first thing I thought of was how PMO makes us believe we're the victims when infact we're the doers. As time passes, this idea gets implanted deep within our minds and we play the victim card subconsciously and why wouldn't we because it means we're the oppressed and helpless. It takes off of us the responsibility to turn things around. Whereas if we realise everything is happening because "We're Doing It", that brings accountability and thus a responsibility on our part to do the right thing.

2. The second thing I thought of was how PMO wires our brain to enjoy intimacy as a mere spectator. In third person. The thought of watching the act slowly becomes more arousing than doing the act. As a result, PIED, DE etc.

3. It strips us of our ability to live in the present. To act in the present. Looking back in my life I can think of so many wonderful things I would've done, achieved had I not been living in the illusory world of P.
Click to expand...
These are beautifully expressed. We can't heal without knowing what we know and feeling what we are feel.
 
V

vidvan13

Active Member
in my opinion, you need to find out what you are trying to escape? You need to find what fraction of this behavior is pleasure seeking vs self soothing the pain or situation you are trying to escape. Journal it out in detail. It helps me a lot since I started.
 
L

legal_alien

Member
Complete autopilot mode on.
No concern whatsoever why I started this journey. Health taking a huge toll. Feeling extremely fatigued.

Will start with a small effort today. Will do something meaningful today afternoon instead of engaging in PMO. Post updates later.
 
L

legal_alien

Member
Goal for the day.
No PMO for 12 hours from now.
Will keep two counters from today...one for the days I achieved my short goals. Second, for the days I didn't. Yay and Nay.
 
L

legal_alien

Member
On autopilot PMO.
Forgetting the reason why I started this journey. It's life changing and life saving importance.
Need to pick up the pieces and start again. Feeling drained, loss of enthusiasm, utterly demotivated.

I wish change was easier to make happen. I realise it may be simple but not easy. All it asks is perseverance but perseverance ain't cheap. Perseverance ain't easy.

Nevertheless, here I am. Gonna go a day without PMO. It's 12:29 right now, I'll be back here at 12:29 tomorrow.
 
J

just_sky

Member
legal_alien said:
On autopilot PMO.
Forgetting the reason why I started this journey. It's life changing and life saving importance.
Need to pick up the pieces and start again. Feeling drained, loss of enthusiasm, utterly demotivated.

I wish change was easier to make happen. I realise it may be simple but not easy. All it asks is perseverance but perseverance ain't cheap. Perseverance ain't easy.

Nevertheless, here I am. Gonna go a day without PMO. It's 12:29 right now, I'll be back here at 12:29 tomorrow.
Click to expand...
Stay strong mate!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top