Well, that was some "fun" 20+ years, but i think i want something else now please.

Iarwain

Member
As the title implies, i've spent over 20 years (!!!) watching porn. The worst part is I didn't even recognize it as an obvious addiction until just over a year ago. I've made all the excuses: "I drank to much beer", "I was too tired", "I was too tired after drinking too much beer", "I didn't really like her", "Maybe I didn't find her attractive". And so on.
But last year it finally became very clear.
No beer. Not tired. I liked her. I was attracted to her.
Still no erection.
Great.

Started reading about E.D. Found many articles about PiED, and realized I was not the only person going through this, and got really, really excited about changing my life. I have made huge improvements, according to me at least. Just realizing that this is an addiction is a huge improvement.

It has been really difficult to reboot though, I think the longest I've gone without PMO is 14 days straight. And it feels like there's some kind of "magic" threshold around that amount of days. I can't seem to get past them. Anyhow, for over a year now i've had these on and off periods, so i thought maybe I should try this with the journal stuff, see if it feels any different.


This is day 2.
 

CoolBreeze

Active Member
As the title implies, i've spent over 20 years (!!!) watching porn. The worst part is I didn't even recognize it as an obvious addiction until just over a year ago. I've made all the excuses: "I drank to much beer", "I was too tired", "I was too tired after drinking too much beer", "I didn't really like her", "Maybe I didn't find her attractive". And so on.
But last year it finally became very clear.
No beer. Not tired. I liked her. I was attracted to her.
Still no erection.
Great.

Started reading about E.D. Found many articles about PiED, and realized I was not the only person going through this, and got really, really excited about changing my life. I have made huge improvements, according to me at least. Just realizing that this is an addiction is a huge improvement.

It has been really difficult to reboot though, I think the longest I've gone without PMO is 14 days straight. And it feels like there's some kind of "magic" threshold around that amount of days. I can't seem to get past them. Anyhow, for over a year now i've had these on and off periods, so i thought maybe I should try this with the journal stuff, see if it feels any different.


This is day 2.
Welcome

There is a lot of support here. We all struggle with Porn and some like myself PEID. If you haven't already try reading "Your Brain on Porn" I had stopped before I read it but it gave me the knowledge and understanding of what truly was going on.

Peace and Strength Brother
 

canguro

Active Member
Hey man and welcome!
Absolutely try reading the book (or listening to the audiobook). Understanding what was happening and why was such an important step for me, mostly understanding how we get addicted to dopamine and that it's not just my fault for being fucked-up, but a process no one of us was warned of when starting porn.

Keep going! 💪
 

Iarwain

Member
Thanks! "Your brain on porn" website got me here, have read a couple articles, but will definitely keep reading. It actually helped boost my self confidence when they compared the addiction to other "normal" drugs. As you said Canguru, learning it's not just my own fault.
 

Iarwain

Member
On day 4 now.
I've been trying to reboot for a year now, with varying succes, and usually the first couple of days of a reboot-attempt actually feels the most "easy" to me. Today i felt some urge to relapse, so went here instead, see if that makes it go away....

Had an insight aswell. I've always been trying to quit at the right time, when i'm feeling the most strong and self confident, wich means when I then fail and relapse it's much more devestating.

This time I almost didn't even want to try, because it's so difficult. So lets see if that actually helps me or not.
 

AJM

Active Member
hey Iarwain, welcome to the forum.
First couple of weeks is the litmus test of your will and strength ,
and its okay if you relapse thats a part of rebooting.
more power to you !!!
 

Iarwain

Member
Thanks AJM!

Today is the 8th day of no PMO.
Had a couple moments this week where I began thinking about relapse. Usually relapse when i've been stressed about work and too much going on. Managed to keep away though, wich feels great. Just thinking about logging in here and have to write a post about my relapse made me feel stronger in keeping away the dirty thoughts. I mean it feels like a commitment now, more so than before.
 
D

Deleted member 23018

Guest
Great for keeping up the streak! I've read that the first 8 to 10 days are often the hardest and then it gets easier, so just a bit more and things will be better;)
 

yogi

Active Member
Good job on a 8 day streak
Slowly your will power will strengthen and you will be able to finally break free.
Do watch out for the relapse. Be on your guard.
 

Iarwain

Member
Good job on a 8 day streak
Slowly your will power will strengthen and you will be able to finally break free.
Do watch out for the relapse. Be on your guard.
Thanks!
So far I only felt my willpower weakening the more days I go without PMO. I feel that if I can just get past these first days/weeks and feel some sort of change in my brain, it would help a lot. Today my brain is not happy about this!
 
As the title implies, i've spent over 20 years (!!!) watching porn. The worst part is I didn't even recognize it as an obvious addiction until just over a year ago. I've made all the excuses: "I drank to much beer", "I was too tired", "I was too tired after drinking too much beer", "I didn't really like her", "Maybe I didn't find her attractive". And so on.
But last year it finally became very clear.
No beer. Not tired. I liked her. I was attracted to her.
Still no erection.
Great.

Started reading about E.D. Found many articles about PiED, and realized I was not the only person going through this, and got really, really excited about changing my life. I have made huge improvements, according to me at least. Just realizing that this is an addiction is a huge improvement.

It has been really difficult to reboot though, I think the longest I've gone without PMO is 14 days straight. And it feels like there's some kind of "magic" threshold around that amount of days. I can't seem to get past them. Anyhow, for over a year now i've had these on and off periods, so i thought maybe I should try this with the journal stuff, see if it feels any different.


This is day 2.
Your beginning story really resonated with me. I remember years back about to sleep with a drop dead gorgeous girl I was dating...and I couldn't get it up to save my life. Talk about absolutely humiliating.

Thanks for sharing, good luck on your journey.
 
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