I'm depressed, it feels hopeless lately.
Hearing that someone else has this experience too will help me, I think. I would benefit from a sense of community. Can you help me?
I haven't seen any porn for 7 months, so that sounds like a success, but not too much because I still sometimes MO with images that are pretty much porn like (people I know mostly). But mostly I'm depressed because every pretty young woman I see on the street causes a crisis in me, like I've lost my youth forever and that kind of love/sex/romance (the early discovery, the youthful body) is over for good (I'm in my 40s). That thought is unbearable, and I feel hopeless and now I'm depressed. I have a partner, but she's not young. It's like too separate tracks: I love her BUT I also want a young woman. It's like two channels that do not communicate. I want two opposite things pretty much equally. To give up on any of the two is like to amputate one of my arms: "Sir, shall we cut the right or the left?" and I say "None please" and they say "I'm sorry, one of the two has to go."
I can't do it. It's paralysis and there's no hope.
I'm lost.
Hearing that someone else has this experience too will help me, I think. I would benefit from a sense of community. Can you help me?
I haven't seen any porn for 7 months, so that sounds like a success, but not too much because I still sometimes MO with images that are pretty much porn like (people I know mostly). But mostly I'm depressed because every pretty young woman I see on the street causes a crisis in me, like I've lost my youth forever and that kind of love/sex/romance (the early discovery, the youthful body) is over for good (I'm in my 40s). That thought is unbearable, and I feel hopeless and now I'm depressed. I have a partner, but she's not young. It's like too separate tracks: I love her BUT I also want a young woman. It's like two channels that do not communicate. I want two opposite things pretty much equally. To give up on any of the two is like to amputate one of my arms: "Sir, shall we cut the right or the left?" and I say "None please" and they say "I'm sorry, one of the two has to go."
I can't do it. It's paralysis and there's no hope.
I'm lost.