I know I can do it. I can feel myself getting closer to success.

jonazo91

Active Member
Very, very friggin close call tonight. For a while, I was determined to look at porn tonight. My phone died right as I was ready to find some material. And then, I pulled out my other phone (provided to me by my work). I'm not quite stupid enough to look at actual porn on it, but I trolled around youtube looking for something to trigger me as I took the dog out for a late walk. Somehow luckily, nothing's really doing it for me (although trust me, not for lack of genuine trying). I get back to the house and open up my computer, and I'm right there, ready with a porn site, the only thing in my way is the "Are you 18?" page. And somehow I make my way to this forum, just to buy some time. I don't know what to chalk it up to. I ought to throw God some thanks. I still feel silly, and a little embarrassed with myself. I did PMO just yesterday (1 time this week). And I willfully seeked out Yellow-light material tonight in an effort to trigger myself. But for now, I can get to bed without PMO and I am thankful for that. I just have to be vigilant now because I can feel myself being weak.

PMO last week (starting Sunday): 6
PMO this week (starting Sunday): 1
Current streak: 1 day
 

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Good job, Jonazo, on pulling out and coming here instead! That's commendable. Good job, also, on only 1x PMO for the week. Let's go for 0, you deserve it.
 

jonazo91

Active Member
Okay so it's been a full month. That's no good. Well here I am again. I just PMOd again this morning, which makes it twice this week. It feels as if I've made little to no progress throughout the whole time I've been actively aware of my addiction and trying to do something about it. The best I can convince myself to do now is to not mope about it, and get active and do the things I need to do. Right now, I'm awful tired, and pretty down on myself. This could go on forever if I don't do something about it.


PMO last week (starting Sunday): 3
PMO this week (starting Sunday): 2
Current streak: 0 days
 
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