Return to reality

vidvan13

Active Member
  • Did I use porn today? NO
  • What were my triggers?
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
  • What am I grateful for today? great food
  • Day counter! DAY 72
 

vidvan13

Active Member
  • Did I use porn today? NO
  • What were my triggers?
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
  • What am I grateful for today? great conversation with friends at thanksgiving dinner
  • Day counter! DAY 73
 

vidvan13

Active Member
  • Did I use porn today? NO
  • What were my triggers?
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
  • What am I grateful for today? calm event less day
  • Day counter! DAY 74
 

vidvan13

Active Member
  • Did I use porn today? NO
  • What were my triggers?
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
  • What am I grateful for today? batman trilogy was great today.
  • Day counter! DAY 76
 

vidvan13

Active Member
Update on my sexual reboot: Yesterday (day 76) was a day I started to see real results in terms of sexual reboot. I had not focused on it till now, instead spending my energy understanding my habit, un-wiring and rewiring my brain to healthy habits. I woke up last night with intense hard-on after a wet dream. I cleaned myself up in the restroom and then, for the first time, I noticed a very hard erection, something I have not felt in a very long time. I was so P focused till before my reboot, that I would not keep hard the instant I took my eyes and brain off the pixels. But yesterday, it was there, refusing to subside, without any thoughts in my mind. It was a strange feeling to have felt so natural again. I remember feeling such intensity when i was in teens. I am going to continue to wind down my musing in the next 15 days and take it slow. Sexual explorations will happen, in future, but I am going to let it happen organically. How it goes, would be how it goes. I have also decided to lay out, with reasonable details, my truth to people close to me. I understand that, this might hurt them, and it might have repercussions, but it seems to me that I need to do it to start with a fresh slate. I need to show this courage, to live without fear, without any expectations of what it might result in. Looking forward to the next 15 days of reboot journey.
 

vidvan13

Active Member
  • Did I use porn today? NO
  • What were my triggers? some online comment
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? moved on after evaluating the event.
  • What am I grateful for today? great yoga class
  • Day counter! DAY 77
 

SexualHealing

Active Member
Update on my sexual reboot: Yesterday (day 76) was a day I started to see real results in terms of sexual reboot. I had not focused on it till now, instead spending my energy understanding my habit, un-wiring and rewiring my brain to healthy habits. I woke up last night with intense hard-on after a wet dream. I cleaned myself up in the restroom and then, for the first time, I noticed a very hard erection, something I have not felt in a very long time. I was so P focused till before my reboot, that I would not keep hard the instant I took my eyes and brain off the pixels. But yesterday, it was there, refusing to subside, without any thoughts in my mind. It was a strange feeling to have felt so natural again. I remember feeling such intensity when i was in teens. I am going to continue to wind down my musing in the next 15 days and take it slow. Sexual explorations will happen, in future, but I am going to let it happen organically. How it goes, would be how it goes. I have also decided to lay out, with reasonable details, my truth to people close to me. I understand that, this might hurt them, and it might have repercussions, but it seems to me that I need to do it to start with a fresh slate. I need to show this courage, to live without fear, without any expectations of what it might result in. Looking forward to the next 15 days of reboot journey.
You used the magical word....

((Organically))

This is great news, Vid!! 🤴🌠
 

vidvan13

Active Member
  • Did I use porn today? NO
  • What were my triggers?
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
  • What am I grateful for today? KFC :p
  • Day counter! DAY 78
 

vidvan13

Active Member
We are so busy chasing extraordinary moments, and afraid of an ordinary life, that we simply miss the every day real moments. Those ordinary moments are what will fulfill you. And the long term constant accumulation of these ordinary moments is what is an extraordinary joyous life. Anything else, done compulsively, is some kind of addiction, which we deploy to escape real life, temporarily - which inevitably creates the pleasure pain cycle. Joy is what we need.

 
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vidvan13

Active Member
  • Did I use porn today? NO
  • What were my triggers?
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
  • What am I grateful for today? good workout
  • Day counter! DAY 79
 

vidvan13

Active Member
Today I was watching a movie. The movie had so many sex scenes, but that did not trigger me at that time. I was able to see it without getting swept away by fantasy. This was a different experience for me. But then I was obviously kidding myself to an extent. After the movie, I looked for more movies, scrolled through a bunch of them. I was able to see myself getting pulled. I saw what was happening in my brain. There was this anticipation, this old pathway making its way. At some point, i thought to myself - what is the difference between watching this and P? If this was 80 days ago, I would have given in. But today, I simply made a choice - to not give in to the unreal life. I went and searched for the actress, though, a bit.

This episode reminded me that the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it is choice. Triggers are always lurking, they are always there. To err is human. Love, grief, lust, pleasure, sadness - that is what makes us human. And I don't want to alienate myself from being human. I just want to experience my humanity in this real world - that is the choice I made.
  • Did I use porn today? NO
  • What were my triggers? a movie
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? I kept thinking while watching the movie and afterwards, why am I doing it and then stopped.
  • What am I grateful for today? resisting the temptation
  • Day counter! DAY 80
 
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vidvan13

Active Member
Today I was reading an article about this new phenomenon where, primarily, women are creating adult content to be consumed online and get paid. The article describes how not only pornography consumption is addictive, but these pornography creators are addicted as well. This sketches a very bleak future. If this epidemic is not curtailed, in 20 years we will have every other man unable to have sex and very many women an adult star selling themselves - both broken inside to live in the real world. That just made me depressed.

  • Did I use porn today? NO
  • What were my triggers? None
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
  • What am I grateful for today? listened to a good podcast
  • Day counter! DAY 81
 

vidvan13

Active Member
8 days to the next watermelon day!

  • Did I use porn today? NO
  • What were my triggers? None
  • How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
  • What am I grateful for today? good food.
  • Day counter! DAY 82
 

vidvan13

Active Member
When college students are picking wallet, keys and Viagra as a daily routine, you know there is another epidemic going on. The mentality that 'porn is harmless' is the real epidemic I am talking about.

Here is a video to reiterate the whole science behind porn addiction:
Let it remain in our minds while we fight this drug.
 
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