Day 1: I am staring my journey today, Aug 26 2021. I am making an admission today that I am addicted. I am accepting today that I feel trapped. I am concluding that I can't do it myself and I need help. I do not feel ashamed, but I do not have the courage to share this with my friends and family. I have seen them in pain, because of me. I am a good person and I want my peace back. I also admit that I have ED during real encounters while my escape to porn makes me feel normal. ED scares me, but the pain in my heart scares me equally. I am hurting everybody around me. I want to return to reality. Help me.
I am a working profession with a secret life of complete escape. I have good friends. I have not been able to identify the core reason for my addiction but I do remember overusing it since my collage days, 20 years ago. It can be once a day, or a few times. It has made me under-productive and I can count more than a few instances where I missed on in real life due to my addiction. I have tried to quit but somehow rationalized to go back. I have only recently admitted having a fogged over stressed brain, but I can see it has been such for a long time. I believe I can overcome this, but I do need help.
I am going to answer these question everyday, when I post. I promise to be honest.
- Did I use porn today? NO
- What were my triggers? NO TRIGGERS TODAY
- How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? I TALKED TO MY FRIEND WHO I VALUE MORE THAN ANYBODY.
- What am I grateful for today? MY FRIEND WHO WOKE ME UP TO REAL LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP.
- Day counter! DAY 1