Return to reality
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SexualHealing
Active Member
Today's summary include how men's and women's shame work. (https://vidvan13.livejournal.com/6496.html)
- Did I use porn today? NO
- What were my triggers? none
- How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
- What am I grateful for today? good yoga
- Day counter! DAY 54
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I read this as: with strong arms when I lifted the weights, you applauded me and brought me cakes, but I anticipate watermelon. : P
SexualHealing
Active Member
Lol! Notice how I only added a slice of watermelon. I just wanted you to have more cake so you can blow all those candles and make a wish!!
You are hell bent on me celebrating my birthday it seems
I am your age group btw. Nov 13th is the next watermelon day and I am super excited about it. Every time I go to the grocery store I salivate over the watermelons, dreaming which one I shall devour. Yum day is around the corner.Today i mused about men, women and sex. This is a summary of what I read today (https://vidvan13.livejournal.com/6819.html). I also reproduce an entry here from my journal I wrote today:
I have been in the city for more than a decade now. I used to be a half marathon runner at some point, until I decided to give it up for swimming, the latter being a low impact cardio. So why do I bring it up in my reboot journey? Let me explain.
Today was New York Marathon day. I, after my yoga class, was walking to grab some lunch. The street was crowded and I made my way holding my mat vertically on my back to make way. What I saw today was so real and exciting to me, that after a moment I realized that my reboot journey was reaping results. I remember running my races. When I was not absorbed in my run, I was constantly checking out women, their body and probably fantasizing. I was looking for a dopamine hit, unconsciously. I saw people running and felt little. I ran and finished a lot of races and simply felt exhausted at the end, feeling not enough.
What I saw today was exhilarating to me. I saw beautiful faces with determination running with an intent, not the bodies and my fantasies. I saw men and women, boys and girls, making a statement for themselves and the crowd. I saw the crowd around chanting and supporting them with bells, music and pamphlets. I saw celebration, I saw joy, I saw pride. I saw what I never saw before. I saw life.
I saw an old person on a wheel chair who was paddling with his legs. Runners kept high fiving him. People cheered for him as a champion, for he was the champion who inspired everybody in the crowd. I saw a dad and his two kids creating a poster for their runner mom declaring she was the best mom. I saw music bands playing trumpets and horns. There were complete strangers cheering for the runners. Women with grace, men with smile and sweat — they all were running with a goal. It was a celebration of life, connection and being together. And, I saw it all. I felt it all, for the very first time, in a very long time.
I am back world, and I am not going back!
I have been in the city for more than a decade now. I used to be a half marathon runner at some point, until I decided to give it up for swimming, the latter being a low impact cardio. So why do I bring it up in my reboot journey? Let me explain.
Today was New York Marathon day. I, after my yoga class, was walking to grab some lunch. The street was crowded and I made my way holding my mat vertically on my back to make way. What I saw today was so real and exciting to me, that after a moment I realized that my reboot journey was reaping results. I remember running my races. When I was not absorbed in my run, I was constantly checking out women, their body and probably fantasizing. I was looking for a dopamine hit, unconsciously. I saw people running and felt little. I ran and finished a lot of races and simply felt exhausted at the end, feeling not enough.
What I saw today was exhilarating to me. I saw beautiful faces with determination running with an intent, not the bodies and my fantasies. I saw men and women, boys and girls, making a statement for themselves and the crowd. I saw the crowd around chanting and supporting them with bells, music and pamphlets. I saw celebration, I saw joy, I saw pride. I saw what I never saw before. I saw life.
I saw an old person on a wheel chair who was paddling with his legs. Runners kept high fiving him. People cheered for him as a champion, for he was the champion who inspired everybody in the crowd. I saw a dad and his two kids creating a poster for their runner mom declaring she was the best mom. I saw music bands playing trumpets and horns. There were complete strangers cheering for the runners. Women with grace, men with smile and sweat — they all were running with a goal. It was a celebration of life, connection and being together. And, I saw it all. I felt it all, for the very first time, in a very long time.
I am back world, and I am not going back!
- Did I use porn today? NO
- What were my triggers? none
- How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
- What am I grateful for today? being out and seeing life
- Day counter! DAY 55
SexualHealing
Active Member
Vid, this is only the beginning! I'm super excited for what is in stored for you. More will be revealed and your best is yet to come my friend! I can totally feel your joy in this post, what a gift
So awesome to hear you're a runner! So am I! However in the last three years I've focused on very intense HIIT workouts and don't run as much, interestingly enough though, I was thinking today on ending 2021 by running every single day. I think I'm gonna do it!!!!
Thanks for the kind words, as always, S. And if you take up running, do it, go for it and rock it out as wellVid, this is only the beginning! I'm super excited for what is in stored for you. More will be revealed and your best is yet to come my friend! I can totally feel your joy in this post, what a gift
So awesome to hear you're a runner! So am I! However in the last three years I've focused on very intense HIIT workouts and don't run as much, interestingly enough though, I was thinking today on ending 2021 by running every single day. I think I'm gonna do it!!!!
Today's summary is about what is love (https://vidvan13.livejournal.com/7356.html) and how can we become our authentic real selves (https://vidvan13.livejournal.com/7453.html). And it is a great weather out today so an evening park visit looks inviting.
- Did I use porn today? NO
- What were my triggers? none
- How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
- What am I grateful for today? great warm weather out of the blue
- Day counter! DAY 56
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SexualHealing
Active Member
- Did I use porn today? NO
- What were my triggers? none
- How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
- What am I grateful for today? good busy work day
- Day counter! DAY 57
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SexualHealing
Active Member
gratitude is the antidote to foreboding joy (https://vidvan13.livejournal.com/8130.html). Three days to my watermelon reward!
- Did I use porn today? NO
- What were my triggers? none
- How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
- What am I grateful for today? good busy work day
- Day counter! DAY 58
SexualHealing
Active Member
Beautiful blog entry
can't believe how much time I've wasted waiting for the other shoe to drop. May every moment of my life be filled with gratitude for what I have and don't have.Today was an insightful read about the disease of perfectionism (https://vidvan13.livejournal.com/8270.html). Sunday I get some watermelons!
- Did I use porn today? NO
- What were my triggers? none
- How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?
- What am I grateful for today? good busy work day
- Day counter! DAY 59