Debilitating Horrible Withdrawals - The #1 Relapse Cause?

[Aussie_85]

Hey nation,

since finding out about this addiction in 2012…almost a decade ago, I’ve been unable to quit. I’ve done one 94 day hard mode reboot while I was single (2012) and a few shorter runs, this is currently my best streak since the 94 dayer, and I’m not even sure what day I’m on…I’m guessing week 3 or 4. I just woke up one morning and porn was boring me and I was fed up with feeling like crap all the time.

anyway the withdrawals are usually what gets me, they are relentless - soul crushing:

Increased anxiety, depression, brain fog, no motivation, lethargic, aches and pains all over my body, suicidal thoughts and by far the worst…INSOMNIA. Nothing worse than not being able to sleep night after night.

what sadly contributed to my relapse when I was on 94 days was fellow rebooters on YBR saying that by that time I should be fully recovered and have no withdrawals so it’s not porn causing these symptoms…it’s put it into my head and I gave up because it’s just so damned hard to just keep on going with no end in sight.

now we know many guys have had extreme withdrawals for 6…12 months, and although it sucks, the only other option is to live a wasted life with porn and that is not who I want to be anymore.

peace,

Aussie.

 

[Ive Swornoff]

Dude, today is day 91 for me and I know I have a long way to go before even my symptoms are gone.

After years and years of flooding those dopamine receptors, I know it will take a long time before they recover. Even then, though, I also know that they have a little bit of a memory, and they will always want to jump at the chance for an easy fix, even after my symptoms are gone. And they'll tell me where to get it. They know.

Got to stay vigilant. Got to learn to hate porn for it's seductive, destructive pull.

 

[SOPHAN]

My partner and I did 120 days without PMO, he didn't watch porn in almost a year, and we're still far from being a normal healthy couple...
I know that's not really motivating but I guess particularly if you consumed porn for a long time, it takes ages to get "out of your system again".

My partner experienced literally every single symptom your are mentioning... it is shocking.

And yes, even as a partner I totally agree with you, the worst is to not know how much longer it will take.
If I would know if we keep strong for another 3 months and then things are great, yeah sure. But if it's another year, or two... it's so hard to keep going, to keep believing, to keep sane.

But I guess in the end it should worth it, so keep strong!
Maybe you can try some strategies to see some progress, I don't try some journaling, talk to somebody daily or weekly (a friend, partner, somebody from this forum, or a counsellor), try mindfulness, I don't know. Trust me, I am running out of ideas as well.

 

[Aussie_85]

Can I ask how old your partner is sophan and how long he has used porn? Duration of sessions? Escalation to extreme context?

I’m 36 and used internet porn since I was around 16….daily and compulsively by 20, and it consumed my life completely and started fucking me up around 20 also.

also if he went no orgasm for an extended period ( no sex, no MO) ?

there’s evidence than orgasms can delay recovery time.

I started mindfulness during my long run and it helped, it takes practice and patience to have any benefit. I might try again. Reading and intense exercise was what helped me, 6 days a week cardio and lifting weights - I need to start doing it again, and reading books.

I really think no O for a decent amount of timeis a big one. For me after 94 days, the orgasm was something I’ll never forget, it didn’t feel good…it was literally like urinating…was quite strange.

Aussie.

 

[SOPHAN]

Can I ask how old your partner is sophan and how long he has used porn? Duration of sessions? Escalation to extreme context?

I’m 36 and used internet porn since I was around 16….daily and compulsively by 20, and it consumed my life completely and started fucking me up around 20 also.

also if he went no orgasm for an extended period ( no sex, no MO) ?

there’s evidence than orgasms can delay recovery time.

I started mindfulness during my long run and it helped, it takes practice and patience to have any benefit. I might try again. Reading and intense exercise was what helped me, 6 days a week cardio and lifting weights - I need to start doing it again, and reading books.

I really think no O for a decent amount of timeis a big one. For me after 94 days, the orgasm was something I’ll never forget, it didn’t feel good…it was literally like urinating…was quite strange.

Aussie.

I sent you a PM.