Here to experiment

I am a student now and I cant beat this addiction for years, since school. It took a long time to admit that I have a problem. I do like so much my university program and my part-time job, but i am not really productive. I feel like it is connected, that i cant do smth to its logical end. Every time i masturbate i say it is the last time but i relapse in 5-7 days and it's really freaking me out. I start this thread(diary) as possibility to record my every day emotional state, to say it freely, i cant be silent anymore.
Day 0
 
Welcome to the forums. Your productivity level and porn/masturbation IS connected, your assumption is correct. When you say that you masturbate every 5-7 days how often are you using porn to do so?
Thanks. I cant even masturbate without it, I try to but I fail, it makes me angry, so I open porn again
 

Fappy

Respected Member
hi and welcome!
youll find that coming on here and writing shit down thats in your head is a massive help. keeping your mind busy is great too. ask anything you want im sure the guys here can give you some great answers!
 
Day 2
I had one major conversation with my manager, chose to continue learning rather than work
Totally did nothing rest of the day
 
Day 3
It was a big day, started a team project in college, I've been talking on the phone all evening with a girl I like
 
Day 4
In the morning I went to the stadium as I had excess energy, than worked on laboratory works
I guess my craving for porn is gonna grow in a while so Im preparing myself for this
 
Day 5
I wanna challenge myself doing more than 100 pull-ups 30 days, but i vaccinated and got to delay it
From time to time I had dirty thoughts, I still can overcame them
 
Day 8
I did 100 pull-ups in the morning, I will increase this number every day. It's just to get me up early and ready for a productive day
Spend my last days with close friends before they leave country for studying abroad

Has anyone ever had such a thing that there is a lot of energy like you cant event sit or you are emotionally unstable (i just noticed smth)?
 
Day 9
It was rainy all day so I made 210 push-ups
Today i faced my triggers again, i didnt break
I feel like I'm getting more and more depressed
I am working on my motivation
 
Day 10
I studied a lot with low progress, really unsatisfied with myself
When i am alone at home i feel like i can relapse but i distract myself
 
Day 11
I studied i bit, made 240 push-ups and spend time with friends watching "the silence of the lambs", mb that is why i cant dream about porn
 
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