"my desire to connect with real people is much stronger than watching pixels and its aftermath" that's pretty powerful. Desire is one powerful emotion for sure. Especially when its a strong desire like this one. I'm beginning to believe that all things are possible in this process. Desire plays a big role in it.You are a beautiful person, who has the courage to be honest with herself. What is helping me is to evaluate my beginnings, which you seem to have already done. What I have realized is that my desire to connect with real people is much stronger than watching pixels and its aftermath. Find the power within yourself to be with yourself in the natural state. And don't over gamify it. Everything is progress if you are conscious about it. Keep going my friend!
what is the source?Day 12 - woo hoo - no desire for PMO. This right meditation right here though spoke to me today:
"Fantasy is a form of dissociation and a way to imagine the impossible or improbable. Lost in a world of unreality, buffered from human connection, fantasy is a solo act that shields us from interpersonal exchanges. Children turn to fantasy when under duress as a way to escape the inescapable. A household fraught with neglect, yelling or violence creates fertile ground for the child to construct unconscious wishes filled with magic, adventure, and hope of a better life. Unfortunately, chronically living in fantasy creates patterns in the brain that may be difficult to break in adulthood, especially where sexual fantasies are concerned.
Being so possessed by sexual fantasies that you avoid your partner and the possibility of connection with him or her will create problems in your relationship over time. Healthy sex requires a solid level of psychic presence, where creativity and imagination can playfully emerge between two people. Being held hostage by habitual sexual fantasies or persistent pornographic images in your head will thwart your being freely present with your partner.
In contrast, when you're present with your partner, you can co-create your fantasies. And when you're in command of your fantasies, you can play them out, talk about them afterwards, and learn from each other what was arousing, what worked, what didn't, or what may have been problematic. Being present lets you use your sex life consciously and as a way to grow, change, and connect."