SexualHealing
Active Member
It starts today 
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My journey to sexual healing ✨
- Thread starter SexualHealing
- Start date
Hello and welcome to the forum! You did the right thing by coming here and starting your journey with a community.
I think it's a great start when you say don't feel shame now, but you can accept it. For me this was very important and through gary wilsons book "your brain on porn" I learned that it's not just my personal failure. Being able to approach the matter in a professional and not moralizing way is the basis for change!
Stay strong
I think it's a great start when you say don't feel shame now, but you can accept it. For me this was very important and through gary wilsons book "your brain on porn" I learned that it's not just my personal failure. Being able to approach the matter in a professional and not moralizing way is the basis for change!
Stay strong
SexualHealing
Active Member
Grateful for today. Had some lingering P scenes come and go in my mind. I just let them be and replaced the thoughts without giving into it. I had a wonderful gathering and sexual experience with my partner. Surrendering to my truth made a big difference. Allowing things to happen on their own did too. Even though I was anxiously thinking about watching a ton of porn before getting sexual with my partner, I was able to somewhat calm those desires down with a nap and meditation. The arousal and pleasurable sensations came up for me. No full orgasm but pleasure. This is good for me. More will come one day. Planning to make a recovery/abstinence plan first so I can begin my countdown. May I be healed, may I be restored 
SexualHealing
Active Member
Day 1 baby! 
My faith and trust in this process runs deep now. I feel it. I deserve to express my God-given sexuality in powerful ways without depending or relying on P and fantasy. My sexual energy, my sexual power lives within me. I am the creater of it. Today was an incredible day. For a second day in a row I was able to experience incredible pleasure with my partner without relying on P/fantasy. Not sure if this had anything to do with it but I practiced sacral yoga. The sacral chakra focuses on creativity and sexuality. The goal is to learn to express myself sexually through empowering outlets not ineffective ones like P/fantasy. When I say fantasy, it's fantasing about porn.
Anyway, tomorrow is a new day. May we be happy, may we be healthy, may we be free from suffering.
My faith and trust in this process runs deep now. I feel it. I deserve to express my God-given sexuality in powerful ways without depending or relying on P and fantasy. My sexual energy, my sexual power lives within me. I am the creater of it. Today was an incredible day. For a second day in a row I was able to experience incredible pleasure with my partner without relying on P/fantasy. Not sure if this had anything to do with it but I practiced sacral yoga. The sacral chakra focuses on creativity and sexuality. The goal is to learn to express myself sexually through empowering outlets not ineffective ones like P/fantasy. When I say fantasy, it's fantasing about porn.
Anyway, tomorrow is a new day. May we be happy, may we be healthy, may we be free from suffering.
SexualHealing
Active Member
Day 2! Thank God it was a good day. Sexual thoughts came up throughout the day but they were about my man! Still i need to make sure I stay on schedule and true to my reboot. Tomorrow is a new day! 
SexualHealing
Active Member
Day 3! Not sure what's going on but I'm feeling awesome! Last night I had the wettest of dreams about my man. Didn't M. Instead I just held the energy in my body all day for when I do get it on with him tomorrow. The natural arousal, desire and horniness are very present in my being and it had nothing to do with P or fantasy. Thank you, Universe. Tomorrow is a new day. 
SexualHealing
Active Member
Day 4! I had some anxiety early in the day thinking if I was going to lose my arousal/horniness when I have sex with my partner. However, I had no desire nor did I try in any way to do something about it by watching P or fantasing. So I told my self I was going to have a great time with my man no matter what. He came over and he had a major migraine, we went for a walk, I gave him massage and just hung out. I wasn't expecting any sex but had a lucky day and as soon as we started to fool around my God, I was on fire. I was present, in the moment and it was an amazing cum. Thank you universe. Feeling incredibly grateful, again, I'm not sure what's going on, all I know is that I'm being led to sexual freedom and liberation. I'm excited for what's in stored for me tomorrow. Keep up the great work out there and if we fall then we get up again. We are not bad people. Inside of us no matter our actions we are lovable, loving and loved people. ❤
SexualHealing
Active Member
Day 5.. all is well. No desire to fantasize or watch P today. But last night.. a few hours after having pretty good sex with my bf I was still very horny and I MO thinking of him. Felt good to M thinking about him though it just took a bit longer than usual to O compared to M through fantasy or P to orgasm.
Blessed! Super blessed. Keeping with the momentum. Tomorrow is a new day.
Blessed! Super blessed. Keeping with the momentum. Tomorrow is a new day.
SexualHealing
Active Member
Day 6.. no desire and no triggers. Very tired now after a busy day. I'm ready to read, meditate, pray and sleep like a baby.
You are a beautiful person, who has the courage to be honest with herself. What is helping me is to evaluate my beginnings, which you seem to have already done. What I have realized is that my desire to connect with real people is much stronger than watching pixels and its aftermath. Find the power within yourself to be with yourself in the natural state. And don't over gamify it. Everything is progress if you are conscious about it. Keep going my friend!
SexualHealing
Active Member
"my desire to connect with real people is much stronger than watching pixels and its aftermath" that's pretty powerful. Desire is one powerful emotion for sure. Especially when its a strong desire like this one. I'm beginning to believe that all things are possible in this process. Desire plays a big role in it.
SexualHealing
Active Member
Day 7 
It's been a great week! My first 7 days without PMO. Although I did M and O without P or fantasing. Want to make sure I get that straight 
what I do know is that I need rest. It's been a very productive week. Tomorrow I will take time to sleep in, relax and take it easy. In the past this could be a reason to reward or relax myself with PMO. Not this time around. Time to knock out! 
be well everyone!
It's been a great week! My first 7 days without PMO. Although I did M and O without P or fantasing. Want to make sure I get that straight what I do know is that I need rest. It's been a very productive week. Tomorrow I will take time to sleep in, relax and take it easy. In the past this could be a reason to reward or relax myself with PMO. Not this time around. Time to knock out! be well everyone!SexualHealing
Active Member
Day 8! I was thinking about why have I relied/depended on something (P) or someone to turn me on/get me off? Aren't we all fuckin born with the power to experience mindblowing pleasure and orgasm? Aren't we all generators of exquisite pleasure, desire, arousal and the ability to orgasm? Isn't this part of our nature? When and how did I lose this ability? When did I start believing the opposite? I'm realizing that I need to own my pleasure, my sexuality, my orgasm. No one or a thing is responsible for my own pleasure. No desire to watch porn, nonpprn thoughts. Thank you God for pretty good sex today with my partner. It got a little rough and lost my arousal towards the end, I didn't talk to him about it today but I know I will talk to him about it because it's part of taking care of myself. It's part of intimacy, I must be vulnerable and express my experience no matter what it is.
SexualHealing
Active Member
Day 9! Super tired today. Still, I did yoga, went for a walk in nature, did a gratitude meditation, spoke to my bf, connected with a ton of people at work. I just didn't get to exercise
that always makes me feel amazing!! A P image for a split second did cross my mind. Lol, I said to it, hey, I really want the real thing now ...so thank you but no thank you...and moved I on 
I've got to be vigilant just in case. Thank God all is good. No urge to PMO!
that always makes me feel amazing!! A P image for a split second did cross my mind. Lol, I said to it, hey, I really want the real thing now ...so thank you but no thank you...and moved I on I've got to be vigilant just in case. Thank God all is good. No urge to PMO!SexualHealing
Active Member
Day 10! Good day today. Though I'm having a hard time keeping up with all my work. So I'm kinda working around the clock. It's crunch time at work but I cant let this get to me. I must take care of myself. Exercised this morning. During my 1hr break I slept like a baby and felt very rested. After work I went for a walk around a nearby lake. That just did it for me! No desire to watch porn. However, for a split second during work I felt an intense arousal and a P scene wanted to make its way to my mind. I focused on the arousal. And then released it. I also asked myself.. do I really want to watch P? And I closed my eyes for a bit and listened.. It was a genuine, authentic no. Thank You, Universe!!! Tomorrow is a new day!! 
SexualHealing
Active Member
Day 11! What a day! No desire for PMO. My convo with my man about our previous sexual experience where towards the end it got a bit rough and I lost my arousal went well. We developed ideas and came to a nice compromise on how to do things differently next time. Today though we got it on and I really wanted to feel pleasure and enjoy myself but I think I was too tired that perhaps I just needed some rest. I allowed myself to be okay with not be entirely aroused and kept the focus on the sensations, and what felt good.. I didn't feel frustrated, or mad or anxious about it. I was just enjoying what I could. Usually when this would happens, I would resort or force myself to think about P and try to get aroused that way. Not this time. And the cool thing is that i didnt desire it. My body was just tired. There will be days like that where I'm not going to have sex simply because my body, mind and spirit are not up for it. Coming to that acceptance will take time. I still want it where i have sex all the time and I have the best orgasm in the world the way I trained my body to have it with P. I trust that it will happen one day, naturally, like is meant too without P, but not today 
for now i will be happy and content and at peace with the great sex I've been having this past month. It's been a miracle not to resort to P.
for now i will be happy and content and at peace with the great sex I've been having this past month. It's been a miracle not to resort to P.SexualHealing
Active Member
DAY 11! NO DESIRE FOR PMO. For a very brief moment today though I felt resentment for not being completely aroused and not being able to O last night with my bf. I confronted that thought and told myself... yea, that is true. I didn't finish last night. I'm okay with that. No one to blame, it just is. I'm not going to waste my precious energy on figuring this stuff out. I want to be restored sexually, and if that means there will be times when I'm not going to have explosive sex then that's fine. I don't have to resort to P. There's always a next time, and my body will begin to realize that O is a natural occurrence without the help of fantasies and P images.
SexualHealing
Active Member
Day 12 - woo hoo - no desire for PMO. This right meditation right here though spoke to me today:
"Fantasy is a form of dissociation and a way to imagine the impossible or improbable. Lost in a world of unreality, buffered from human connection, fantasy is a solo act that shields us from interpersonal exchanges. Children turn to fantasy when under duress as a way to escape the inescapable. A household fraught with neglect, yelling or violence creates fertile ground for the child to construct unconscious wishes filled with magic, adventure, and hope of a better life. Unfortunately, chronically living in fantasy creates patterns in the brain that may be difficult to break in adulthood, especially where sexual fantasies are concerned.
Being so possessed by sexual fantasies that you avoid your partner and the possibility of connection with him or her will create problems in your relationship over time. Healthy sex requires a solid level of psychic presence, where creativity and imagination can playfully emerge between two people. Being held hostage by habitual sexual fantasies or persistent pornographic images in your head will thwart your being freely present with your partner.
In contrast, when you're present with your partner, you can co-create your fantasies. And when you're in command of your fantasies, you can play them out, talk about them afterwards, and learn from each other what was arousing, what worked, what didn't, or what may have been problematic. Being present lets you use your sex life consciously and as a way to grow, change, and connect."
"Fantasy is a form of dissociation and a way to imagine the impossible or improbable. Lost in a world of unreality, buffered from human connection, fantasy is a solo act that shields us from interpersonal exchanges. Children turn to fantasy when under duress as a way to escape the inescapable. A household fraught with neglect, yelling or violence creates fertile ground for the child to construct unconscious wishes filled with magic, adventure, and hope of a better life. Unfortunately, chronically living in fantasy creates patterns in the brain that may be difficult to break in adulthood, especially where sexual fantasies are concerned.
Being so possessed by sexual fantasies that you avoid your partner and the possibility of connection with him or her will create problems in your relationship over time. Healthy sex requires a solid level of psychic presence, where creativity and imagination can playfully emerge between two people. Being held hostage by habitual sexual fantasies or persistent pornographic images in your head will thwart your being freely present with your partner.
In contrast, when you're present with your partner, you can co-create your fantasies. And when you're in command of your fantasies, you can play them out, talk about them afterwards, and learn from each other what was arousing, what worked, what didn't, or what may have been problematic. Being present lets you use your sex life consciously and as a way to grow, change, and connect."
what is the source?
