I am so glad to see sites like this appearing from guys who are brave enough to realise they have a problem with porn and not only to do something about it, but to go public and help others that are facing the same issues.
There is a great deal of denial of course in any addiction and, because of this, a lack of insight into how the addict's porn habit is REALLY affecting his loved ones, particularly his partner.
I lived with a porn addict for over three years and heard every excuse, every lie, every denial and - worst of all - every barbed comment about porn not being 'his' problem, but mine.
My time with him resulted in my being treated for a form of PTSD and a total breakdown of my self esteem.
It was my only my sense of humour that kept me sane - and so I used that to build a site dontrewardbadbehaviour.com and write a book You Want Me To Do WHAT With That?! both written to help the partner of the porn addict, who is often dismissed or mis-diagnosed as being co-dependent.
As it happened, this also led to my corresponding with addicts, which ranged from asking advice on how to help their partner, to the downright abusive.
The site is humorous, it is hard hitting - sorry it doesn't go easy on the addict (who is still in denial), but it is a good laugh (try the paramour or porn perv? quiz)
I would love to start a conversation though with more addicts and get some feedback as to how your addiction has affected your relationship. If you are happy for me to use your comments anonymously on the site, I will send you a free copy of my ebook.
I've also interviewed a few experts in the field, which you may find interesting.
Good luck guys - if you are on this site, you are already making a step to recovery - and if you are reading this based on the subject - you are recognising that your addiction is causing damage not just to you, but to those who love you.
There is a great deal of denial of course in any addiction and, because of this, a lack of insight into how the addict's porn habit is REALLY affecting his loved ones, particularly his partner.
I lived with a porn addict for over three years and heard every excuse, every lie, every denial and - worst of all - every barbed comment about porn not being 'his' problem, but mine.
My time with him resulted in my being treated for a form of PTSD and a total breakdown of my self esteem.
It was my only my sense of humour that kept me sane - and so I used that to build a site dontrewardbadbehaviour.com and write a book You Want Me To Do WHAT With That?! both written to help the partner of the porn addict, who is often dismissed or mis-diagnosed as being co-dependent.
As it happened, this also led to my corresponding with addicts, which ranged from asking advice on how to help their partner, to the downright abusive.
The site is humorous, it is hard hitting - sorry it doesn't go easy on the addict (who is still in denial), but it is a good laugh (try the paramour or porn perv? quiz)
I would love to start a conversation though with more addicts and get some feedback as to how your addiction has affected your relationship. If you are happy for me to use your comments anonymously on the site, I will send you a free copy of my ebook.
I've also interviewed a few experts in the field, which you may find interesting.
Good luck guys - if you are on this site, you are already making a step to recovery - and if you are reading this based on the subject - you are recognising that your addiction is causing damage not just to you, but to those who love you.