I'm Kyle Buttler - Road to reboot

Hi!, I'm Kyle Buttler. I'm from Latino America and my main lenguage is the spanish so sorry if i dont choose the right words to explain something but I hope you get the main idea.

A summary of my story: I started watching porn at the age of 10, always hidden from my parents and in those times it was hard to access for me because we had just one pc and my family was always at home, so i had to wait for them to go and then PMO.

At the age of 17 I got my own pc and with brothers gone i had the bedroom for myself and there i think everything started. I started consuming porn as much as i could. Sharing pages and actresses with my friends. Despite of the consumption in that year and the following i could have sex with other girls.

At the age of 20 i was submerged in porn as never before, super actresses didnt satisfy me so i started watching violent porn, etc. For my bday, that year, i experienced my first ED ever. Firstly i thought it would normal, but it happened again the following week. I went doctors, they said it was normal and they gave me a pill (cialis) to solve it. I tried it, worked the first year, but meanwhile porn always porn. Then one day, even drinking the pill, i couldnt get an erection so i started clinical studies including blood and rigisican (which had possitive results in terms of biological problems, aiming to psics problems).

At the age of 21, no sex in between, I had no woods, either strong erections while watching porn. I knew something was wrong so i kept going changing my diet, etc. My docs didnt know what to tell me.

At the age of 22, I kept PMO. With the COVID-19 situation i didnt move from my home.

At the age of 23, i took more pills than ever reaching 20 mg of cialis which was really lot for me and tried with 2 diff girls and couldnt get a bonner. I dediced to try with eco-doppler and the answer: everything alright. I drowned in a big depression reaching the limits of put a gun on my head, cried lot, always asking me why the hell it happens to me and what would be wrong. Nobody could give me the solution, and i couldnt find it anywhere. I didnt belive in god, i was atheist but i said i have to solve it some way. I went to the church and started praying. Some days later and after looking for years i found this. Started reading and after reading Gary book i knew i had PIED. I know it may sounds silly, but in my country theres no lot of info about this and doctors seems to have no idea plus i never ever could find a solution.

I thought been part of this comunity would help me.

So here I'm, standing in the day 18. I'm eager to consume porn as never. My mind is playing dirty with me but i have to keep going.

Thanks for reading! and sorry for my english!

IM NOT A PUPPET, MY MIND IS NOT MY MASTER!!!
 

canguro

Active Member
Hey man and welcome to the forum!
Honestly, the idea of porn inducing ED isn't widely known in my country (germany), too, I would bet. I haven't been to a doc so I can't say for sure, but the problems P bring to people is nothing people or the media talk about. They're all still like "it's just normal" etc.
Pretty sad.
 

Fappy

Respected Member
Hello Kyle!
its fanstastic that youve found the reason for your ED and how to fix it. its such a simple and straightforward method too, there are some dofficulties, but there isnt anything "medical" you need to worry about, just your brain and willpower.
and if you stick to it, trust me, it works and youll get your life back.
 
Standing at day 20,

Nothing seems to have changed. I'm still horny, maybe not that much as days before. No woods yet.
I had a dream where I fap and felt dirty. It was just a dream.
I thought i would have jumped into flat line at day 20, but seems that not yet. I dont know.

Well, thanks for the support. I'll keep fighting!

IM NOT A PUPPET, MY MIND IS NOT MY MASTER!!!
 
Day 23,

Im not really sure of how Im feeling. I think i didnt get in flatline days. I try to have my brain occupied with differents things, i started playing chess, go hang out with friends, gym, etc.

Does some one know if its normal being in the day 23 and no flatline?

IM NOT A PUPPET, MY MIND IS NOT MY MASTER!!!
 
Day 26,

I had my first wet dream ever with no O. I woke up before it. I noticed that when i woke up my pennis what no E but i knew i was about to O. Is it possible?. And i keep asking the same thing than before, is it normal not hitting the flatline in a month of reboot?.

Thanks a lot for the support. I'v been watching some vids and reading but sometimes i cant find the answer for my questions.
I know that for everyone rebooting is different and so does the time it take to hit flatline, but just asking because seems lot.

The fact is that here I'm, standing and fighting against this day after day.

Thanks!

IM NOT A PUPPET, MY MIND IS NOT MY MASTER!!!
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Hey Kyle, I think not having a MW is a sign of flatline, not sure if you have read this before, if you haven't then go ahead and take a look :



Everyone is different. I think you should not put too much mind into it. Just keep going.

Congratz on 26 days !
 
Day 30, First Month

Thanks @fapstranaut02 for the answers. I really appreciate it.

Yesterday I didnt feel that need of MO, today neither, like that feeling is starting to disappear. I think im starting to hit flatline. I dont know, im not really sure of this. Still no MW.

Just updating.

IM NOT A PUPPET, MY MIND IS NOT MY MASTER!!!
 
Day 35,

I woke up with a wood, it lasted like 5-10 minutes or more without stimulation which is good i think. But I dont know why when i stand up it disappear in no more than 5 seconds. Really weird. I mean i woke up yesterday n today with the boner but when i get up it will disappear.

Does someone know about that??

IM NOT A PUPPET, MY MIND IS NOT MY MASTER!!!
 

fapstranaut02

Active Member
Hey Kyle, I have the similar issue. Problem is I can't maintain an erection when standing up. I have went through a few discussions and my conclusion is probably I have been conditioned that way as I always lay down when I PMO.

I remember someone asked Gabe that question and he said rebooting will help. I can agree with him, because I had this one time, i woke up in the middle of sleep with a raging hard boner, it stayed for a few minutes with no sign of going down even when I'm standing up.

Another solution I read is from another guy, who before ejaculation, he stands up, to condition himself back to having erection standing up.
 
Hey Kyle, I have the similar issue. Problem is I can't maintain an erection when standing up. I have went through a few discussions and my conclusion is probably I have been conditioned that way as I always lay down when I PMO.

I remember someone asked Gabe that question and he said rebooting will help. I can agree with him, because I had this one time, i woke up in the middle of sleep with a raging hard boner, it stayed for a few minutes with no sign of going down even when I'm standing up.

Another solution I read is from another guy, who before ejaculation, he stands up, to condition himself back to having erection standing up.
Well if in ur reboot journey u are seing advances then its a proof that Gabe was right. I hope time solve this problem.
And thanks for answering! its good to know that we both can help each other. I'v been reading too, they say that kegel exercises would help, i dunno yet. I'll update news if i find something new!
 
Day 39,
I woke up with a MW (80%) I would say. It dissapeared while peeing. I'm going to try seing how much i can last my E while standing up n then pee.
I dont know, i dont think im on a flatline zone or if i'm, i'm not suffering it that much.
Had 2 dreams in where there was a screen with porn and i closed my eyes strong. Its weird but that is what i dreamed.

Thanks!.

IM NOT A PUPPET, MY MIND IS NOT MY MASTER!!!
 
Day 41,
I woke up late n kept in bed. I started thinking in my last girl n got a really nice and strong E for a long time without touching myself. Then some mins laters (10 or 15 maybe) again, thinking in her got good E again. My mind was telling me to MO but i could resist. I think this are good sintoms of recovering!.

Thanks!.

IM NOT A PUPPET, MY MIND IS NOT MY MASTER!!!
 
Day 44,
No MW and no E in all the day. I'm not thinkig on my ex or any other girl. I'm like empty. No sexual fantasies on my mind.
Just updating.

IM NOT A PUPPET, MY MIND IS NOT MY MASTER!!!
 
Day 47,

No MW got an E thinking on my ex but it didnt last much and totally gone away when i stood up. Yesterday had no appetite for girls.
I'm happy because ive passed the half of the journey! despite 90 days is the objetive I wont watch P anymore. Now the objetive is 90 days but I'll have a look if I'm cured or not.

M NOT A PUPPET, MY MIND IS NOT MY MASTER!!!
 
Well people, here is where i need your help with an opinion.
I've just recibed a msg in where a girl wants to come home. I dont know if I'm ready or not, if i should do it i mean try or what.
I was thinking on take a pill and invite her. What do you guys think?.

Thanks!
 
Day 52,

No MW, but thinking on girls i saw yesterday i got a bonner, not fully but it lasted a good time. Then i stood up and it was there for some mins too. Its a progress, I'm happy!

Thanks!

IM NOT A PUPPET, MY MIND IS NOT MY MASTER!!!
 
Day 52,

Strong MW, better than other days. It didnt last much, and lasted at least 30-40 secs while brushing my teeth. I felt it was strong and make me happy.
I feel like I want to have sex with every girl i see. It doesnt matter if they are pretty or not. I think its part of the abstinence, i just want to O in their faces or inside them, or i imagine myself getting a blowjob. I think its my brain telling me to MO. But I wont do it.

Thanks!

IM NOT A PUPPET, MY MIND IS NOT MY MASTER!!!
 
Day 53,

Today at the moment I'm good. No MW. But yesterday after I posted my body started to destroy me asking for MO as never. I went to gym and calmed down a bit. Then came back in home and once i was in bed it started again, it was terrible i manage to control myself till i got asleep.

I think I'm handling it!

Thanks!

IM NOT A PUPPET, MY MIND IS NOT MY MASTER!!!
 
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