I’m 32 and Never ejaculated in a woman. I NEEDS Help!!!

Abby

Member
Hi guys, similar story to most of you. Started watching Porn at an early age and had no idea that it was hurting me. Masturbated every night thinking I was learning, little did I know it was causing harm. Had my first encounter with a woman aged 21 couldn’t get it up. I just put it down to fatigue, I hade no idea what damaged I caused. I always thought it was my lack of sex which caused that problem. I had another encounter with a woman and it happened again so at this point I got really scared. I bought viagra, it worked but I discovered I could feel anything and wasn’t really enjoying it as much as I would have liked.

I finally found a consistent woman which seem to cure my ED I didn’t need to used viagra but I still couldn’t ejaculate and all this time I had no idea that it was porn that had caused it. I had gone long spell without porn thinking when I do get a woman it will miraculously start working again. I am looking to setting down and have children but my biggest fear is that I will never be able to have one.
 

Abby

Member
always when I was consistently with a partner I never thought about porn. I partner was generally enough. Maybe thats my problem.

there is someone I’m seeing now. We are yet to have sex and a bit hesitant to tell her about my problem.
Guys any help will be appreciated.
 

guitar1968

Well-Known Member
Not sure how much help I can offer here other than to say, yes, porn probably is a big part of your problem and that, yes, you should abstain from masturbation and porn and eventually you will most likely be able to have intercourse with ejaculation.

I'm 53 and for the last 10 years I've been dealing with PIED. It got really bad and I couldn't ejaculate, but I also started to have the same issues with porn and masturbation. I am sure my issues stem from porn. I've always had a bit of performance anxiety with a new person. Even when I was younger. But once I got comfortable, I could masturbate four times in a day and still have sex to completion. It got worse and worse as I got older to the point where nothing would happen.

Stay away from porn and masturbation, relax and enjoy your new person. Probably letting them know that you have some anxiety would help and that you want to take it slow. Just engaging and enjoying each other will make things so much easier.

Good luck. Keep us informed on how it's going.
 

Abby

Member
Thanks for the advice. Yes I’ll take it a day at a time and have began to abstain from Porn and Masturbation. Thanks for the support.
 

Abby

Member
It’s been about seven weeks since I started this journey. Not watching porn or masturbation. However last night I was with a girl and she was giving me Oral sex and I ejaculated for the first time. Though not vaginal ejaculation. It’s the first time I’ve done so while I was given oral sex. I think it’s a win or progress. 😊
 

ALM

Member
Must be great to see those benefits in two months, good job there!

I'm curious about how was the process during those weeks, also may be useful for other people here. did you have sex in those weeks? Did you removed every porn-substitute too? (instagram, soft erotica...)
 

Raymond84

Member
Hey Abby,

Thanks for sharing your concerns and anxiety regarding this. For the longest time I also had issues with climaxing during sex. It was strange because I could stay hard during foreplay and sex for long periods of time but could never finish. I think a lot of this is psychological as well as physical and I found it was only when I was with a partner that I really trusted that I began to relax and was able to climax, which was a huge relief. A lot of the time I was too inside my own head during the act of sex and as an introvert, I think its about being able to remain present and in the moment. I think it can be helpful to talk with your partner to make them aware of what is going on but also I am just glad for you that withdrawing from porn and masturbation has resolved the issue!

I just finished reading the book Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson and have just started Mean Genes by Terry Burnham and Jay Phelan. I can recommend these two books to give you an idea on the science behind any physical and mental side effects that can come from excessive porn use. I am definitely finding it is relieving a lot of anxiety for me regarding the things I am currently struggling with as I work towards healing.

All the best
 

Abby

Member
Must be great to see those benefits in two months, good job there!

I'm curious about how was the process during those weeks, also may be useful for other people here. did you have sex in those weeks? Did you removed every porn-substitute too? (instagram, soft erotica...




Hi there,
During those weeks I didn’t watch porn or masturbate. I was however on Instagram but don’t think I used it as a porn substitute. If I did see something slightly stimulating I just stopped watching it.
 

Abby

Member
Hey Abby,

Thanks for sharing your concerns and anxiety regarding this. For the longest time I also had issues with climaxing during sex. It was strange because I could stay hard during foreplay and sex for long periods of time but could never finish. I think a lot of this is psychological as well as physical and I found it was only when I was with a partner that I really trusted that I began to relax and was able to climax, which was a huge relief. A lot of the time I was too inside my own head during the act of sex and as an introvert, I think its about being able to remain present and in the moment. I think it can be helpful to talk with your partner to make them aware of what is going on but also I am just glad for you that withdrawing from porn and masturbation has resolved the issue!

I just finished reading the book Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson and have just started Mean Genes by Terry Burnham and Jay Phelan. I can recommend these two books to give you an idea on the science behind any physical and mental side effects that can come from excessive porn use. I am definitely finding it is relieving a lot of anxiety for me regarding the things I am currently struggling with as I work towards healing.

All the best
Hi there, I will welcome any continued support as all help is welcomed.
 

keyballa

Member
Congrats Abby! I’m 35 and been a porn addict since my mid 20’s. I was going thru the same thing you were going thru. Glad to hear about your progress. Keep up the good work and keep staying away porn and masturbation.
 

Abby

Member
Just another update, had sexual intercourse today. I felt that I could have finish in her but due to us not using protection I pulled out. However she finished me off using her hand and I ejaculated.

would that effect my progress? Any advice!!
 

ALM

Member
Just another update, had sexual intercourse today. I felt that I could have finish in her but due to us not using protection I pulled out. However she finished me off using her hand and I ejaculated.

would that effect my progress? Any advice!!
Hi, different opinions on that, it is not a clear science.

Some people consider it is good to have some natural sex experiences and that it can help to rewire your brain to what's an actual stimulus. Others are of the opinion that it is better to remove as much as possible every sexual stimulus, including real sex, specially because it can cause intense cravings due to chaser effect that leads to a relapse of M or P.

I would say it depends on each person. If you are ok today and there is no risk for a relapse it sounds good, right? At some point you need to start rewiring with actual sex experiences. Although be careful with that unprotected sex!
 

Abby

Member
Hi, different opinions on that, it is not a clear science.

Some people consider it is good to have some natural sex experiences and that it can help to rewire your brain to what's an actual stimulus. Others are of the opinion that it is better to remove as much as possible every sexual stimulus, including real sex, specially because it can cause intense cravings due to chaser effect that leads to a relapse of M or P.

I would say it depends on each person. If you are ok today and there is no risk for a relapse it sounds good, right? At some point you need to start rewiring with actual sex experiences. Although be careful with that unprotected sex!
Thanks for the feedback, at this point I don’t really have the urge to watch any form of porn or to masturbate
 

keyballa

Member
Just another update, had sexual intercourse today. I felt that I could have finish in her but due to us not using protection I pulled out. However she finished me off using her hand and I ejaculated.

would that effect my progress? Any advice!!
In my opinion I don’t think it would effect your progress. As long as you are interacting sexually with a real women. The fact that your are having sex with a real person and not with your hand watching porn is a great progress!
 

Abby

Member
Hello guys I am experiencing some anxiety at times. In my last encounter I had difficulty keeping erection. Any advice
 
Top