REBOOT&REWIRE journal

[Thomas1026]

Day 1

Today is actually the second day. But yesterday I did nothing but trying to pull me out of frustration and despair. Today, I hit the gym for two hours. My current bodyweight is 58kg, and my bench is 62.5 kg. I haven't make progress last week because of my multiple relapses. But I didn't give up, so I go to the gym today. My goal at the end of the year is body weight 65 kg, and bench over 90 kg. Hopefully, I can make it. But so far, the biggest challenge is Quitting PMO. I think the most important thing is to live with new and healthy habits rather than constantly think about how to not relapse. But I still need to practice several ways to dissolve my urges. Otherwise, I think I will still relapse because I can't ignore the strong urges by dopamine. Today, I start a new therapy called ERP found on the YBOP website. It is a good way to rewire the brain. Anyway, posting my daily life on fortify and also reboot nation is a new routine. I need a sense of belonging or I will never make progress.

 

[Thomas1026]

Day 2
Score: 5/10
Today is not good not bad. I had a wet dream last night, so I feel pretty uncomfortable.But I managed to hit the gym. I can feel my strength is increasing. The problem is that I need a plan. I can't just walk around without any purpose. In addition, I watched too much TV show today, so I waste lot of time. I managed to learn C++ coding which is not bad for me. But I still need a plan. The key to win is not to focus on not to watch porn but on how to live a better life. I must change my mindset to live better life.

 

[Thomas1026]

DAY 3
7/10
I finished my morning routine today. It was not bad. The only thing matters is that I should put praying after the ERP. AND the journaling time should be shorter. Anyway, I didn’t get up on time.
I need a plan to help me get up on time after workout.
Problem one: I distract myself on AHIS 120 class. I must change it.
Problem two: find way to get up on time.
Problem three: write a checklist before leaving the dorm.
Problem four:
I hit the gym today, then I ate burgers. I feel really tired but I keep studying chemistry and coding at university dorm. It is exhausting but it is far more valuable than wasting my time on fake porn. Sometimes I never stop and enjoy my great feeling after working. It greatly improves my confidence. Porn only makes me feel guilty and frustrating. But hardworking makes me proud. Before going to bed, I watch the video of productivity, which is super inspiriting

 

[Thomas1026]

Day 4
6/10
I made some achievement today. It is not bad. I made some improvements compare to yesterday. One change I made is that I allow myself to watch YouTube on Wednesday. Originally, it is not acceptable. I only allow myself to watch YouTube on weekends. But watching all the videos I want on the weekends might occupy most of the time, so I made a small adjustment that I will allow myself to watch at Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday.I did feel better today. Better mental clarity. Improved confidence. Thanks NOFAP. I will live a new life for my dream.