Cam Girl Addiction: From Financially Savvy to Buried in Debt

I've spent money on cam sites as well, but 'only' $90 in total at the most. I have all cam sites blocked now, like all other porn. Spending money on porn is money thrown away, you're paying for something that is bad for you and is effing you up. Well, nothing new there, people pay for booze and cigs -- and even drugs, but that doesn't mean they should. To be completely honest with you, I was considering buying a sex toy today, but it's so pointless as well, so I didn't do it. For that $45 I could buy a load of mild erection meds and have real sex. Okay, got a bit side-tracked, but if you must buy something, buy stuff that'll help you get out of this mess -- like a gym membership.

You can do this!
 

FittyBands

Member
Can you put a porn blocker on your computer or router?
I can, and I have, but it doesn't work. I know I will eventually try to remove it. I need a way to place the block and make it virtually impossible to go back.
 
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FittyBands

Member
Day 13: No money spent, didn't check the site. Did work most of the day and exercised. Productive day.
Day 14: Very busy day. Didn't have much time to relax even. So, I definitely did not spend any money or check the site. Trudging along. When I have free time, I want to dig deep and have myself focus on other things so I don't relapse.
 
Cam girls are very hard to resist , they know how to get your attention and make you spend once and then again and again .
but hey , they are playing A game by hiding their disgust about you and deceiving you by acting so nice to you because they know you can’t resist that admiration and attention . They know you will open up your wallet anytime . It’s just a matter of “when” and not “if” .

so one thing I read in the book “Breaking the cycle” stuck me that said , “prostitutes and cam girls alike are only here to take your money …. Period … “ don’t get fooled twice , once for their admiration and twice by actually paying them your hard earned money for their time .

instead use that time to make money/ earn true peace for yourself by upping your game of sobriety .
 

Noah

Member
Cam girls are very hard to resist , they know how to get your attention and make you spend once and then again and again .
but hey , they are playing A game by hiding their disgust about you and deceiving you by acting so nice to you because they know you can’t resist that admiration and attention . They know you will open up your wallet anytime . It’s just a matter of “when” and not “if” .

so one thing I read in the book “Breaking the cycle” stuck me that said , “prostitutes and cam girls alike are only here to take your money …. Period … “ don’t get fooled twice , once for their admiration and twice by actually paying them your hard earned money for their time .

instead use that time to make money/ earn true peace for yourself by upping your game of sobriety .
This sounds like good inspiration for a mantra. Something you can tell yourself when you're feeling an urge. "Cam girls are here to take my money, period." I've been using a mantra to get over my porn addiction, and it works. Gets myself out of the urge.
 

FittyBands

Member
Day 14: Very busy day. Didn't have much time to relax even. So, I definitely did not spend any money or check the site. Trudging along. When I have free time, I want to dig deep and have myself focus on other things so I don't relapse.
Day 15: Checked the site today. After a few minutes, I remembered how the cam girl addiction messed up my finances. I remembered the loss of peace of mind which I always had. I remembered that things can still get worse if I don't stop. I worked so hard earlier in my life to achieve what I had achieved. I knew that the cam girl addiction would put all my earlier efforts in vain, and I couldn't do that. So I logged off and spent nothing.
 
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Noah

Member
This is a beautiful result and, just as important, an excellent process. If you can keep this up, you'll be in great shape.
 

FittyBands

Member
Day 15: Checked the site today. After a few minutes, I remembered how the cam girl addiction messed up my finances. I remembered the loss of peace of mind which I always had. I remembered that things can still get worse if I don't stop. I worked so hard earlier in my life to achieve what I had achieved. I knew that the cam girl addiction would put all my earlier efforts in vain, and I couldn't do that. So I logged off and spent nothing.
Day 16. Didn't spend any money. Didn't check the site once. Had a pretty busy day. I know when I have busy days I won't spend anything. I am afraid that once things slow down I will relapse. I am currently keeping in mind the things I need to work towards in life: Paying family back, getting out of debt so I can buy a house, peace of mind. I let the cam girls control me for far too long.
 
Hey man!

So first off, it's very courageous of you to share your story so in-depth. It gives me a lot of insight and helps a lot of other people empathize and feel less alone. So good on you man.

Have you considered working with an addiction specialist/therapist? Assuming they're a good practitioner, they can give you a lot more insight into how addiction works, why you may be addicted, what kind of emotional holes the cam sites may be substituting for you, etc.

For example, from what you describe, it seems that you derive a large amount of emotional validation from these cam girls. So it may be in your interest to see why validation is so important/pleasurable to you, and if there's other ways you can receive that same validation in a more healthy way. Otherwise the validation is always gonna be there, and you're always gonna be fighting against the urge to experience it.

Here's an explanation on this topic, also coined the term "The Realm of Hungry Ghosts."

Here's that same guy giving advice to someone who is addicted to onlyfans (not completely the same but pretty similar) (skip to 43 minutes):

Here is is him working with a group on porn addiction:

Another strategy is to remove the addiction's ability to give you that emotional validation (although this may cause you to just exchange your addiction with another one that fills the hole again)

Wanna hear a hard truth?

Cam girls, every single one, will tell their customer that they are more handsome/sexier/better looking than what they normally get. It's not just you. It's a very common strategy within this line of work because emotional validation is one of the biggest things that keep bringing customers back, case in point. Even the "free" stuff. They offer to talk to you outside of the camsite because they know that it helps make you feel special. They offer free minutes because it makes you feel special. You think, "They're only doing this for me, they must like me the best." When in reality it's 100% business driven. Don't believe me? Talk to one of the girls who is offering to speak to you outside the site for free. I PROMISE you that eventually during your conversation, they will ask you when you plan on booking another session. Then tell them you don't plan on doing it for a while and see how long they still talk to you after that point.

For me, literally just realizing this and believing helped reduce the urge to go back to cam sites.

Anyways, good luck man. Keep coming here and posting updates, we are rooting for you.
 

FittyBands

Member
Day 16. Didn't spend any money. Didn't check the site once. Had a pretty busy day. I know when I have busy days I won't spend anything. I am afraid that once things slow down I will relapse. I am currently keeping in mind the things I need to work towards in life: Paying family back, getting out of debt so I can buy a house, peace of mind. I let the cam girls control me for far too long.
Day 17. Failed again. Almost $200 down the drain. I'm tired.

I feel like I am possessed by a demon. I KNOW that this is bad. I KNOW they only want my money. I KNOW that I am ruining my life. The scary thing is, the moments when I feel really horny, when I really want it, I will tell myself these things and I will say in my head: "I don't care". That is terrifying. That isn't me talking. I have lost control of myself and I need to fight myself and rid myself of this demon, rid myself of this addiction.

The urge has always been the worst right after I have sex. It's like I don't want the party to stop. No amount of additional sex helps. I still want the cam girls afterwards. I had sex on Friday and it opened a can of worms. I had sex again today and I still wanted the cam girls. I am going to have sex tomorrow and I STILL want some cam girls.

I think I might have a general sex addiction. I want to have sex every hour, but no woman's vagina is ready for that, at least not with me. At best, she will need a few hours because she is sore. Sometimes it takes days. I get antsy. I am not a celebrity or someone with social clout so I don't have a plethora of "hoes" on deck. I can have sex, I enjoy it, but I obviously don't have enough women lined up to have sex anytime the urge comes. I love the cam girls because it is the closest thing I can get to having a shared sexual experience with someone ANYTIME I feel like. It's also the only way I can have a shared sexual experience with multiple women in an absurdly short amount of time. I can't pull that off in real life. I cannot call up 5 different women to have sex with in the span of 4 hours. But on a cam site? Easy to have fun with 4 women in an hour. It's live, and I get to make someone cum with me. BUT...this stops today.

I requested for the cam support to permanently blacklist my name and my card. I will go back and get them to blacklist all the cards I own. I want it to be impossible to spend money on the site. I am committed to making a change and I need to cut off access in a way where I cannot reverse it. In the past I have tried blocking it myself or getting them to close my accounts, but I would always unblock the site or make a new account. I need to put safeguards against myself. I am going to focus on busting nuts on this girl tomorrow instead of busting my bank account.
 
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FittyBands

Member
Day 17. Failed again. Almost $200 down the drain. I'm tired.

I feel like I am possessed by a demon. I KNOW that this is bad. I KNOW they only want my money. I KNOW that I am ruining my life. The scary thing is, the moments when I feel really horny, when I really want it, I will tell myself these things and I will say in my head: "I don't care". That is terrifying. That isn't me talking. I have lost control of myself and I need to fight myself and rid myself of this demon, rid myself of this addiction.

The urge has always been the worst right after I have sex. It's like I don't want the party to stop. No amount of additional sex helps. I still want the cam girls afterwards. I had sex on Friday and it opened a can of worms. I had sex again today and I still wanted the cam girls. I am going to have sex tomorrow and I STILL want some cam girls.

I think I might have a general sex addiction. I want to have sex every hour, but no woman's vagina is ready for that, at least not with me. At best, she will need a few hours because she is sore. Sometimes it takes days. I get antsy. I am not a celebrity or someone with social clout so I don't have a plethora of "hoes" on deck. I can have sex, I enjoy it, but I obviously don't have enough women lined up to have sex anytime the urge comes. I love the cam girls because it is the closest thing I can get to having a shared sexual experience with someone ANYTIME I feel like. It's also the only way I can have a shared sexual experience with multiple women in an absurdly short amount of time. I can't pull that off in real life. I cannot call up 5 different women to have sex with in the span of 4 hours. But on a cam site? Easy to have fun with 4 women in an hour. It's live, and I get to make someone cum with me. BUT...this stops today.

I requested for the cam support to permanently blacklist my name and my card. I will go back and get them to blacklist all the cards I own. I want it to be impossible to spend money on the site. I am committed to making a change and I need to cut off access in a way where I cannot reverse it. In the past I have tried blocking it myself or getting them to close my accounts, but I would always unblock the site or make a new account. I need to put safeguards against myself. I am going to focus on busting nuts on this girl tomorrow instead of busting my bank account.
Day 18. No money spent
 

workinprogressUK

Well-Known Member
Congrats on making it through the day, yesterday. I empathise with your feelings of desperation - knowing that you don't want to go back, but going all the same. Sincerely hope you have managed another clean day. As I understand it, keeping the consequences of using "front of mind" - the financial ruin, potential loss of home and job - is the best way to motivate change during the early days of a recovery. Wishing you strength.
 

CamAddict199618

New Member
I came back to reboot nation because I have a similar problem to yours and the first thread I found was yours. I do not have as much money as you do but I am in the same situation. One of my problems was spending money when I got drunk, I am over 100 days alcohol free now. I have 4 credit cards, all full, about $6000 in debt total, I have a bank account overdrafted $700 that was closed and I am paying off, and this weekend I spent about $80 on a cam site. I may have to borrow $20 for gas this week. I am with Netspend now so I can't overdraft and I budget my money very carefully and always pay money towards bills first but I always leave $200-$300 for gas, groceries, vape juice and misc and I always end up spending a third of that money on the cam site. I want to quit and that is why I came here. I appreciate you sharing your struggle, I identify with it, and I hope we can achieve success together.
 
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