Cam Girl Addiction: From Financially Savvy to Buried in Debt

[FittyBands]

Hi Man how are you holding up. Keep faith in yourself!

Currently in a cycle. Right now I am rejecting the urge. I keep thinking about how it contradicts my basic morals and principles. I feel dirty.

 

[Richard44]

Currently in a cycle. Right now I am rejecting the urge. I keep thinking about how it contradicts my basic morals and principles. I feel dirty.

Keep focussing on why you want to break the cycle my friend. I know how hard that can be my addiction was pure PMO and collecting searching for new highs (clips/movies/actress). See the reasons you want to stop this cycle. You gain absolutely nothing for participating in these shows it makes u feel good for a bit. But afterwards you realize how empty it all it.

Do not lose everything you worked for in your life. I know how hard that is as I am also in that same cycle. I lost everything i cared for and i feel disgusted by it and that currently are my demons and that I cannot give a place yet and is tearing me apart. The stopping PMO and PORN was easy after I lost everything. I wish i seen it before.

Keep fighting friend.

 

[FittyBands]

I am going to keep fighting. I miss my peace of mind. I hate worrying about basic expenses. One of my employers didn't pay me this month so it has been really difficult. I have urges to check the site but I get sad while I'm on it. I'm not always turned on. I hope that feeling gets stronger so I can defeat this cycle.

 

[JustOtherGuy]

Hi all,

My name is Rey and I have a horrible cam girl addiction. I am writing this so I can actually talk to people about this. I am incredibly embarrassed and ashamed and I need outside help. I need to share my story. I am angry. Pissed. Ashamed. Most importantly, I feel like I have lost control of myself.

This all started senior year of college. I always have struggled with porn, but I never let it take over my life. However, my senior year, I dabbled with paying for premium porn, something I had never done previously, to see some models' videos. From this, I was introduced to a cam girl site. I was curious and made an account. That summer after I graduated, I kept going to the site, camming with a variety of girls, and feeling euphoric. Before I knew it, I spent more than $2000 over a few weeks. I realized that it was a problem and wanted to make a plan to stop... I never imagined I would be here, years later.

Now, you might be thinking: single, didn't get much attention from girls, clearly he was looking for an outlet to connect with women and fell into a rabbit hole.

I wish that was the case. The source of my addiction is a much deeper, more sinister, and harder problem to tackle.

When my addiction began, I was sexually active and dating people. I was even already talking to someone kind of seriously, who eventually became my girlfriend. I wouldn't call myself a ladies man or someone who got sex anytime they wanted, but I was someone with some options, with the ability to see women and to have a meaningful emotional connection in real life. I was not using this addiction to fill a void of not having anyone to feel connected to: my addiction fed my ego, and it became more apparent as my addiction grew worse.

Like I mentioned previously, I spent $2000 in a few weeks. I was hooked. I liked the variety. I loved how the girls complimented me on my body and on my "member down there". I felt constantly validated. I loved being able to see all these women and have fun with them anytime I wanted, all with the click of a button. No dates, no bs. If I didn't like them, I could just switch to someone else. Sometimes, I would use silly usernames to make girls think I was some unattractive, small membered "loser", only to surprise them once they saw me on cam. I loved their reactions and how quickly they would be nice to me and turned on. Some would do extra stuff for me, or perform more things for me more than what I was technically paying for, or be willing to talk to me outside the site. I felt like a king. I loved the abundance of attention, and the validation I received because of my member.

However, I knew this shit had to stop. I had a lot of money saved up, some growing investments, and was moving and starting a new job. I had just purchased a new car, and I had great credit. I didn't want to ruin what I had achieved.

I would go through cycles of spending money on the site and going cold turkey, all while seeing my girlfriend regularly. I never told her. I knew she would not be okay with it. After a few months, I blew my savings. However, my investments were intact and I spent just enough so that I could pay for all my necessities and the addiction with little money left over. I eventually discontinued my account, asked for my name to be blacklisted, and blocked the site. It worked. For almost a year, it became a thing of the past. I felt normal again. Then, one day, the urge became too strong. I made a similar account on a new site, and it started to get worse from there.

I slowly led myself into more and more credit card debt. Some days, I would spend more than $600. By now, covid had hit and I was working from home. I was slowing down with my work, doing projects more slowly. I started becoming more irrational and making worse financial decisions. I blew up my investment accounts, losing over 95%. I started racking up more and more debt. My credit limits were very high, and I ended up maxing out each card one by one. I still made sure I could pay for my necessities and pay those off each month, but my addiction was causing my debt to grow and grow. Again, I was sucked into the validation. The variety. By this point my girlfriend and I had broken up, but I was still seeing people, still being sexually active. But that didn't curb my addiction. I just loved the variety, how easy it was to access these women. I would try blocking the sites, but I would become too tenacious and find a way to make a new account, this time on another new site.

To combat this addiction, I would try watching porn if I felt the urge. I recognized that porn was not going to be a long term solution, but at least it was free. If I felt the need to bust a nut, make it a free nut. I figured, if I could transfer this addiction to porn, at least my bank account could recover while I work on myself.

Didn't work.

I would try only camming on certain days, on weekends, or with cheaper models. I figured, going cold turkey may not work, but phasing out of this addiction could work. Just do it less often and with cheaper models. Luckily, there was no correlation between model price and model attraction. However, I still desired some of the more expensive models, regardless of how much I liked the cheaper ones. Again, it was all about variety.

Now, it has become a daily battle. I check the site everyday. Sometimes I win, but some days I give in. I waste hours on the site and not doing work. My room is unclean. I don't cook as often. I can barely pay my rent. I know that if I can't get a hold of this, I will not be able to pay rent, pay my car note, or take care of my basic needs. I feel like I have lost control of myself. I am buried in so much debt. It will take many years to get back to square one. I even asked a family member for money, promising to pay them back by taking out some of the remaining money I had in my investments, and then I subsequently blew it again on my addiction. Now, I have yet to pay them back and they are understandably upset with me. I broke the trust of a family member. I feel like I am not myself and I hate that I have this addiction. I never imagined this would happen to me. I feel so ashamed. I just want help.

Need to tell this to as many people you love as possible.
Just email them with this.

 

[Richard44]

I am going to keep fighting. I miss my peace of mind. I hate worrying about basic expenses. One of my employers didn't pay me this month so it has been really difficult. I have urges to check the site but I get sad while I'm on it. I'm not always turned on. I hope that feeling gets stronger so I can defeat this cycle.

You keep fighting. Whatever you do, DO NOT OPEN these sites. Keep reminding yourself it is empty as fuck and does not give any you any relief. Focus on what is important. You proven to yourself that you can build a stable life with a good income and savings. Focus your energy on regaining that! I know its hard! Do not spend a single cent on that shit. It stops and it STOPS now.

 

[doneatlast]

Hi FittyBands,

Thanks for sharing your story. I know the camgirls are super addictive, but I don't hear people talk about it enough. When I was still hooked on porn I watched a lot of cam girls but I didn't enter the chats or tip, I just lurked. It did give me a lot of time to observe those who were the mainstays in the various rooms.

I think it is extra important because that addiction hits a few other buttons other than the ones we talk about all the time in porn addiction communities like novelty or escalating to weirder stuff, though that can happen too. What I saw was guys really trying to connect, get attention, flirt, bond, and develop "relationships"... all of those things have real reward circuits in our brains that can get hit. Very broadly speaking, while the guys who really want to get laid keep watching hardcore porn, the guys who just want a girlfriend head for the cams. It doesn't mean the guys who get into cam girls are all lonely, desperate, anti-social... it just means the addictive potential packs an extra wallop for those guys because it hits them where their cravings are.

I often think of the really good waitress who is chipper, laughs at your jokes, and seems genuinely excited to bring you a plate of nachos. She has mastered the art of seeming very intent on your happiness. Many men mistake this as flirting, and waitresses get hit on all the time. Really she's just hoping you leave a good tip, and she probably forgets about you the minute she walks back into the kitchen or when her shift ends. Cam girls (the good ones) are great at staring into the camera in a cutesy way and seeming really excited when you enter a room. Except, she isn't bringing you nachos and a draft - she's taking her clothes off, playing with herself, and who knows what else. Some are super sweet, some are more "hard to get", each has their own tactic, but the truly successful ones have figured it out, even if only intuitively.

For me, a great strategy in quitting was to realize that these women are all acting. No, not Julliard level acting... just faking it like a good waitress acting. It took the fun out of it to realize they were just pretending for the money. It is like suddenly seeing the guy under the puppet, and realizing it is just felt on a hand and breaks the illusion. It takes a while to convince our brains on a deeper, reward-circuit level, but consciously reminding ourselves of this can be really helpful.

There was an episode of Workaholics about something like this... the three guys are all watching one camgirl and end up competing for her attention and end up hunting her down... I don't remember it all that well. They end up finding her in a giant warehouse with a small set to look like a teenage bedroom, and she's completely different in person. Does anyone remember that?

 

[canguro]

@doneatlast I agree with most of what you say, but saying that people who want a relationship go for cams and people who are addicted to porn just want to get laid is just not true.

 

[doneatlast]

@doneatlast I agree with most of what you say, but saying that people who want a relationship go for cams and people who are addicted to porn just want to get laid is just not true.

No it isn't true, it is just a broad generalization and not meant to be taken too literally. I simply mean that it is scratching a different sort of itch in those brain reward circuits than just regular hardcore porn, but tapping into the parts that seek relationship building and bonding.

 

[FittyBands]

I am using the cam girls to make me feel better about not having enough money because I wasted it on cam girls. Such an evil, destructive cycle.

 

[Pra]

I used to watch cam girls occasionally but never paid for them. My P use didn't escalate too much into weird areas, but it did escalate a little. But most of my escalation came from adult chat rooms and that type of thing.

 

[mroizo]

I just feel like you @FittyBands
I shared my journal a bit. So my love with the cam girl ended but I go always back to other cam girls and waste money on them.
I feel loneliness and I do not know what triggers me to go to talk , watch ,... on these cam sites.

I see many suggest to use a blocker but even that is not helping me neither.

What I do is going to a psyotherapist, but mostly I told them about the site the love for that girl and the financial lost.
But I do not talk about the porn because I feel ashamed for that.

I don't know the triggers. Did you find any triggers?

 

[FittyBands]

I just feel like you @FittyBands
I shared my journal a bit. So my love with the cam girl ended but I go always back to other cam girls and waste money on them.
I feel loneliness and I do not know what triggers me to go to talk , watch ,... on these cam sites.

I see many suggest to use a blocker but even that is not helping me neither.

What I do is going to a psyotherapist, but mostly I told them about the site the love for that girl and the financial lost.
But I do not talk about the porn because I feel ashamed for that.

I don't know the triggers. Did you find any triggers?

My triggers tend to be boredom or right after having sex. I think my cam girl addiction is an extension of a bigger sex addiction

 

[mroizo]

Yesterday I relapsed almost.

I installed "ColdTurkey" on some computers but not on the laptop yet.

So I started reading instead (the Frank Daemon - book ) and listened to some meditation music.

I'm one of these guys who was falling stupid in love with a cam girl.
My life is just like on a rollercoaster now.

One of my first goals is not spending any money anymore on this camsite and stop all communicating with that specific girl.
Then it came in my mind that I have also an porn addiction. (but sometimes my brain says it was just love) - but I think in fact it is the two.

I don't know if anyone had something similar?

I hope you are well @FittyBands

 

[FittyBands]

Yesterday I relapsed almost.

I installed "ColdTurkey" on some computers but not on the laptop yet.

So I started reading instead (the Frank Daemon - book ) and listened to some meditation music.

I'm one of these guys who was falling stupid in love with a cam girl.
My life is just like on a rollercoaster now.

One of my first goals is not spending any money anymore on this camsite and stop all communicating with that specific girl.
Then it came in my mind that I have also an porn addiction. (but sometimes my brain says it was just love) - but I think in fact it is the two.

I don't know if anyone had something similar?

I hope you are well @FittyBands

Hi, how effective is Cold Turkey?

 

[mroizo]

Well for me it is working very well and effective.
But you need to install it on every machine and I make a block on these kind of sites for 16 years.

You can choose the time of the block.

Important thing is that you install it on every machine that you have.
Because that was a pitfall for me (I did not install it on my laptop).

But since I use it I saved already about 1300 dollars. (not going pvt or tipping)

It is just one of the steps ... for recovering.

 

[FittyBands]

Well for me it is working very well and effective.
But you need to install it on every machine and I make a block on these kind of sites for 16 years.

You can choose the time of the block.

Important thing is that you install it on every machine that you have.
Because that was a pitfall for me (I did not install it on my laptop).

But since I use it I saved already about 1300 dollars. (not going pvt or tipping)

It is just one of the steps ... for recovering.

I love this. You have to pay for it right? Also, how easy is it to reverse the blocking? That has been my downfall. I eventually try to remove the blocks I put in so I need to future proof it.

 

[FittyBands]

Happy New Year, and happy new me. Cliche or not, I am committed to making a change this year. To repair my finances and be in a better place financially and physically and emotionally. I would appreciate everyone's support in holding me accountable and to call me out when/if I mess up.

 

[jberg]

Have you tried any of the 12-step groups, for example Sexaholics Anonymous? There is strong accountability in those programs.

 

[Richard44]

Happy New Year, and happy new me. Cliche or not, I am committed to making a change this year. To repair my finances and be in a better place financially and physically and emotionally. I would appreciate everyone's support in holding me accountable and to call me out when/if I mess up.

Hi Mate,

Happy new year to you aswell and lets beat this thing! I will be here to help you out. Please let me know if we can do anything for you. I am here everyday so hope to see more of you! Lets go bro!!!

 

[FittyBands]

01 January 2022: Didn't check the site!