Cam Girl Addiction: From Financially Savvy to Buried in Debt

FittyBands

Active Member
@FittyBands
I know what you mean . I have spent hours on cam sites peeking in and out battling opposing thoughts whether should I spend money or not .
It’s a horrible situation to be in .

Try cutting down your access to these sites if you can , that has helped me reduce my spend . I block all those sites in my router parental control settings and that has helped me .

I still get around it by using LTE network on phone but because the video streaming is poor quality on LTE Mobil network so that turns me off and I put down the phone and go do something else instead .
Yes, cutting access is very hard because I am very tenacious about getting around it, so I really need something that discourages me. That is why I have just been focusing on my self discipline, which is ultimately the problem anyway. On the plus side, it has been improving.
 

GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
Yes, cutting access is very hard because I am very tenacious about getting around it, so I really need something that discourages me. That is why I have just been focusing on my self discipline, which is ultimately the problem anyway. On the plus side, it has been improving.
Great to know you’re improving your self discipline even with full access to sites @FittyBands . Keep up the great attitude!

I did the site blocking ritual on my router parental controls just to experience the freedom momentarily and I did it . It’s funny that actually For a few days about 8-10 days I was so happy and feeling liberated:) that I did not try to bypass any of the security set up because I had lost the admin password to the router after I blocked all my favorite P sites /chatroom sites /Cam sites .

I still don’t have the router password and that is preventing me from accessing most of the sites I go to but unfortunately I found an alternate url for one of the chatroom sites and that stung :( .

but in the end it’s all about our self discipline so I am living with current rougher restrictions stil on and working on educating myself more as I try to live sober days and gather momentum to make a longer clean streak

MI30S
 

FittyBands

Active Member
20 January 2022: Today was another small loss. $35 down the drain. Curiosity got the best of me, checked the site, a model was having a special for all her vids, and the normally rational thrifty shopper within me irrationally caved. No thrifty shopper thinks this is a good purchase, especially one on a reboot. The post nut clarity hit very hard. Fortunately, I realized that I can overcome this addiction and I want to. Usually, by now I would feel defeated, sad, and feel like I am truly not escaping from my addiction. I know I am struggling. After having this addiction on and off for several years, it will not be easy to actually stop. But, I am already seeing changes. It has been 12 days since I spent money. For the average person, this is hardly an accomplishment, for me, it's a good sign. After all these years, the longest I went without spending money once I was deep in my addiction has been no longer than a week. So 12 days is a long time and I plan to blow that record out of the water. I know I can do this. No more spending in January. I'm taking it one day at a time. Tomorrow: no site checking, no spending. COMMIT! After January comes February. Day by day I will win the small battles. I will overcome this addiction.

I want to be honest with my weaknesses and when I fail. I want people to know that there is a real person here struggling, but also to know that he is going to succeed. I will succeed. You are all my friends and I thank God for having all of you.
 

BridgeTri

Member
Thanks for sharing your story FittyBands! And a great thanks to a lot of other users giving great insight. I really admire your honesty in this thread and your analysis of your situation. It seems that you have a lot of resources to fight this addiction but is struggling with finding the right path for you. I've seen you express disgust, self disgust, understanding, courage, rage, happiness, sadness - the roller coaster of real life. And that life will continue with or without porn / cam girls.

What @doneatlast said about different addictions (cams vs porn) really resonated with me and my understanding (being MD) of the neurological pathways that are active in addictions. Different people have different neurological wirings in the brain that makes us more or less susceptible to different types of interactions. My theory is that the original "trauma" or struggle is what defines what we seek. Don't misunderstand the word trauma - I don't think it has to be a major life defining trauma, but we all have our insecurities and I for my self see that the way I use porn greatly correlates with my greatest fear; hurting another person. Porn has been feeding my every need, but the artificial nature of the product and it's ability to be a "perfect fit" makes everything else seem uninteresting. I remember my self in my twenties having arguments with myself whether or not it was worth it to try and get laid but I actually convinced myself that porn was a better option - no risk for pregnancies, STD or being accused of any sexual assaulting - I know I'm a weird creature o_O:)

What I'm trying to say is that everyone of us is different, our addictions work differently. It has been alfa and omega for me to discuss this with my GFs. The relationship between my ex and I could not bear the weight of my addiction, but the journey that she and I had with me acquiring the self insights that I did are absolutely invaluable to where I am mentally right now. With my current GF I have been able to take further steps towards a porn free life. I'm not sure that I will ever be totally porn free, but I really feel that the fact that my sessions are so far apart makes a great difference. I would not have been able to do this without the help of my family and friends (have discussed with parents, GF and three closest friends). That doesn't mean it's right for everyone to open up. You need to find your own path.

But with all the great resources you do have, my friend, be gentle and understanding with yourself. You are dealing with a drug as potent as they come eg. Heroine, Cocaine, list goes on. It's not easy to come out of an addiction and no matter how you do it, it will be a bumpy road. A single down fall doesn't take away all the great achievements you've made already!

Take care, keep in touch!
 

GeminiMan

Well-Known Member
@FittyBands

Have you thought about taking a plunge into unknown waters . i e blocking your favorite cam sites on internet router using parental controls on router admin page , and paralyzing access patterns embedded in your mind and finding comfort with it ?

It has helped me reduce my spend from $75 per quarter to $2 per quarter .
It was a game changer atleast financially for me .

please do think about having to deal with always on access to cam sites on high speed internet Vs limiting your access to LTE or 4/5G speeds for cam site access . It’s extremely frustrating to be hooked on cam sites on a mobile network . There is a risk that I might reset router to erase all rules I have built into it . But that has never happened as I prefer not to configure every other internet connected appliance in my household with a router reset . at least worth a try to experience the feeling you get when all those sites are blocked on router and you loose your password to admin router page .

Think about it give a deep thought if router parental controls is going to benefit your journey in anyways , even if not for reboot impact at least for cutting down financial impacts of cam sites on your life .

if the answer is “yes” then definitely “take the plunge” and “go for it
 
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