Cam Girl Addiction: From Financially Savvy to Buried in Debt

Theta_Gamma

New Member
Hi all,

My name is Rey and I have a horrible cam girl addiction. I am writing this so I can actually talk to people about this. I am incredibly embarrassed and ashamed and I need outside help. I need to share my story. I am angry. Pissed. Ashamed. Most importantly, I feel like I have lost control of myself.

This all started senior year of college. I always have struggled with porn, but I never let it take over my life. However, my senior year, I dabbled with paying for premium porn, something I had never done previously, to see some models' videos. From this, I was introduced to a cam girl site. I was curious and made an account. That summer after I graduated, I kept going to the site, camming with a variety of girls, and feeling euphoric. Before I knew it, I spent more than $2000 over a few weeks. I realized that it was a problem and wanted to make a plan to stop... I never imagined I would be here, years later.

Now, you might be thinking: single, didn't get much attention from girls, clearly he was looking for an outlet to connect with women and fell into a rabbit hole.

I wish that was the case. The source of my addiction is a much deeper, more sinister, and harder problem to tackle.

When my addiction began, I was sexually active and dating people. I was even already talking to someone kind of seriously, who eventually became my girlfriend. I wouldn't call myself a ladies man or someone who got sex anytime they wanted, but I was someone with some options, with the ability to see women and to have a meaningful emotional connection in real life. I was not using this addiction to fill a void of not having anyone to feel connected to: my addiction fed my ego, and it became more apparent as my addiction grew worse.

Like I mentioned previously, I spent $2000 in a few weeks. I was hooked. I liked the variety. I loved how the girls complimented me on my body and on my "member down there". I felt constantly validated. I loved being able to see all these women and have fun with them anytime I wanted, all with the click of a button. No dates, no bs. If I didn't like them, I could just switch to someone else. Sometimes, I would use silly usernames to make girls think I was some unattractive, small membered "loser", only to surprise them once they saw me on cam. I loved their reactions and how quickly they would be nice to me and turned on. Some would do extra stuff for me, or perform more things for me more than what I was technically paying for, or be willing to talk to me outside the site. I felt like a king. I loved the abundance of attention, and the validation I received because of my member.

However, I knew this shit had to stop. I had a lot of money saved up, some growing investments, and was moving and starting a new job. I had just purchased a new car, and I had great credit. I didn't want to ruin what I had achieved.

I would go through cycles of spending money on the site and going cold turkey, all while seeing my girlfriend regularly. I never told her. I knew she would not be okay with it. After a few months, I blew my savings. However, my investments were intact and I spent just enough so that I could pay for all my necessities and the addiction with little money left over. I eventually discontinued my account, asked for my name to be blacklisted, and blocked the site. It worked. For almost a year, it became a thing of the past. I felt normal again. Then, one day, the urge became too strong. I made a similar account on a new site, and it started to get worse from there.

I slowly led myself into more and more credit card debt. Some days, I would spend more than $600. By now, covid had hit and I was working from home. I was slowing down with my work, doing projects more slowly. I started becoming more irrational and making worse financial decisions. I blew up my investment accounts, losing over 95%. I started racking up more and more debt. My credit limits were very high, and I ended up maxing out each card one by one. I still made sure I could pay for my necessities and pay those off each month, but my addiction was causing my debt to grow and grow. Again, I was sucked into the validation. The variety. By this point my girlfriend and I had broken up, but I was still seeing people, still being sexually active. But that didn't curb my addiction. I just loved the variety, how easy it was to access these women. I would try blocking the sites, but I would become too tenacious and find a way to make a new account, this time on another new site.

To combat this addiction, I would try watching porn if I felt the urge. I recognized that porn was not going to be a long term solution, but at least it was free. If I felt the need to bust a nut, make it a free nut. I figured, if I could transfer this addiction to porn, at least my bank account could recover while I work on myself.

Didn't work.

I would try only camming on certain days, on weekends, or with cheaper models. I figured, going cold turkey may not work, but phasing out of this addiction could work. Just do it less often and with cheaper models. Luckily, there was no correlation between model price and model attraction. However, I still desired some of the more expensive models, regardless of how much I liked the cheaper ones. Again, it was all about variety.

Now, it has become a daily battle. I check the site everyday. Sometimes I win, but some days I give in. I waste hours on the site and not doing work. My room is unclean. I don't cook as often. I can barely pay my rent. I know that if I can't get a hold of this, I will not be able to pay rent, pay my car note, or take care of my basic needs. I feel like I have lost control of myself. I am buried in so much debt. It will take many years to get back to square one. I even asked a family member for money, promising to pay them back by taking out some of the remaining money I had in my investments, and then I subsequently blew it again on my addiction. Now, I have yet to pay them back and they are understandably upset with me. I broke the trust of a family member. I feel like I am not myself and I hate that I have this addiction. I never imagined this would happen to me. I feel so ashamed. I just want help.
May I ask how you lost 90% on your assets? I consider myself financially literate too, and am just curious how such a huge loss could happen.
 

FittyBands

Active Member
Hi All,

So some updates. I have been on a rollercoaster. Recently, I started having sex with one of the models and for now I don't feel the urge to go on the site, mainly because I feel like I am wasting my time if I could just hang out with her. But I feel like I am using it as a substitute and once we stop talking eventually, I will relapse. Just wanted to share my updates.
 

Addictinsoldier

New Member
This might be the hardest thing I have done
I’ve literally just come across this entire forum and honestly I don’t think I’ve ever related to someone so hard in my life. Like literally you have spoken everything I have felt. I too have dealt and do deal with cam addiction. I’ve spent thousands and thousands on cams. I’m actually scared of calculating the total amount over the past 3/4 years but I know it’s way over 4 figures. I’ve found that being addicted to this has left me feeling empty and the same. I’ve been that “guy” who goes into a models room and spends the most they’ve ever seen. Probably because of ego. I’ve tipped to have their numbers and Snapchat’s and exhancged photos and videos which I always get a reaction that boosts my ego which again I think is just a business move from them. But I’m also looking to get myself out of financial debt and beat it this year. I’m glad someone like yourself has spoken out and mentioned it. I’m young too and have a decent career so I should be able to save and enjoy my life bur everything gets funded towards the cams which leaves me with nothing. Sad really. I keep dwelling on the past and that’s what haunts me. I can’t forgive my past. Ironic because I don’t stop dwelling on the past or stop mentally living there I can never move forward. I hope you beat this and just know I’m rooting for you. I’m in the same boat
 

FittyBands

Active Member
I’ve literally just come across this entire forum and honestly I don’t think I’ve ever related to someone so hard in my life. Like literally you have spoken everything I have felt. I too have dealt and do deal with cam addiction. I’ve spent thousands and thousands on cams. I’m actually scared of calculating the total amount over the past 3/4 years but I know it’s way over 4 figures. I’ve found that being addicted to this has left me feeling empty and the same. I’ve been that “guy” who goes into a models room and spends the most they’ve ever seen. Probably because of ego. I’ve tipped to have their numbers and Snapchat’s and exhancged photos and videos which I always get a reaction that boosts my ego which again I think is just a business move from them. But I’m also looking to get myself out of financial debt and beat it this year. I’m glad someone like yourself has spoken out and mentioned it. I’m young too and have a decent career so I should be able to save and enjoy my life bur everything gets funded towards the cams which leaves me with nothing. Sad really. I keep dwelling on the past and that’s what haunts me. I can’t forgive my past. Ironic because I don’t stop dwelling on the past or stop mentally living there I can never move forward. I hope you beat this and just know I’m rooting for you. I’m in the same boat
This really spoke to me. It's a constant battle. But I have faith we can beat it.
 

FittyBands

Active Member
Today, on 26 April 2022, I forced myself to be clean for good. I downloaded coldturkey, blocked it, locked it with a randomly generated password. I have no idea what that password is. So, I will never be able to access that site anymore. Ironically, I had a falling out with the cam girl I started having sex with a few weeks ago and the falling out turned me off so much that I wanted to block everything so I wouldn't be reminded of her. I feel free.
 

FittyBands

Active Member
First day of knowing I am clean. To anyone who needs it, downloading coldturkey, paying the $40 for the lifetime access, and blocking things permanently with a password you cannot remember is the way to go.
 

FittyBands

Active Member
I find this so weird...I didn't think a cam girl would put me over the edge. I was still thinking that maybe my will power would eventually be enough, I just needed to work harder. After all, that is the main issue right? Perhaps so, but I was making my life more difficult by having access. In reality, I wanted to "redo" my bad experience with a cam girl a couple years ago and see if I can meet one again and have sex with her. I succeeded, and afterwards I realized that it didn't help. Once the falling out happened with the new cam girl, I realized that I hated contributing to people like that. I didn't want to see her again or see others again. I knew that was my opportunity to block everything, before it wore off.
 
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