8 Years of Trying to quit and still have gone NO WHERE! Will try something new

Story:
First of all I don't know where to begin y'all! I have been pmo'ing for as long as I can remember from masturbating in the high school stalls numerous times a day; to cope with the bullying and absent social life. Eventually when I left for college it was a chance for a new life and a new beginning. I was able to achieve 30 days and the benefits were Immense. I was able to finally break my virginity and I had somewhat of a social life. Life was finally worth living for, I had the motivation to start bodybuilding and even start my own business. UNTIL everything fell apart, and I feel in love with a girl that did not love me.It broke my heart and sent me back to PMO this time I would never see 30 days again (been 3 years since) my addiction has only progressed and I started watching weirder and weirder genres of porn. I found myself in isolation and no friends I developed anxiety and panic attacks for the first time in my life. They were so bad that I had to drop out for the semester. I am now on my final semester of college and watched the years fly by one after the other while still in the darkness of the addiction. I was never able to get a girlfriend or even a hookup despite being told I am a very attractive man. I don't even have the confidence to talk to the girls that approach me! at the bars. It's a sad and miserable life! I live by myself and have no friends and don't know where to find any. I spend my days PMOing and binge watching tv shows. Every time i swear this will be the last time and fail it takes a serious effort to get past 3 days and if I ever reach 7 days it's a miracle. Im starting to lose hope. Ive tried everything I even joined a 12 step for 2 years called SAA and i still wasnt able to get sober. I am scared of what life will look like after im done with university this upcoming winter! Will I still be lonely? Will I still be PMOing ? Will I still be living the miserable hopeless life? IT SCARES ME!!! I JUST WANT TO STOP PMOING

Symptoms/consequnces:
-I've never had trouble with ED, exactly the opposite I get random boners all the time its very embarrassing I get them just by talking to a girl. However I have trouble orgasming during sex, infact the girls think im gay or they are not attractive enough for me! It ruins everything.
-I have severe social anxiety
- I have severe anxiety, panic attacks, depression from PMO
- Im starting to bald
- Have no friends and very very lonely
- I can't talk to girls despite being told im very attractive
- So much more bad symptoms but I can't even thing of them thats how bad my brain fog is


I NEED TO TRY SOMETHING NEW!! I just feel like ive been going in circles for 8 yrs now
For that I will be journaling every day! My goal is to stop PMO completely! I am open to all advice and suggestions
 
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Hi Oath. It's not true that you've gone nowhere despite it being 3 years ago. If you're still in college then you have time to make new friends. In order to get free of this you have to work on your mindset and skills. If you can't talk to girls then you must talk to them in order to get better. You gotta put yourself out there to meet new people. Maybe stop watching Netflix for a little while. If you're attractive then that's definitely a perk. Maybe be honest with the girls you meet to tell them hey I'm not that good with communication, but I'd like to get to know you. Stuff like that. If you've made it 30 days before you can make it again. Take it one day at a time. You got this.
 
Keep going! For the girl. If you're too nervous about approaching her maybe just write your name and number on a piece of paper and go up to her and say "Hey ____, I'm ____. I think you're cute and would love to take you out sometime." hand her the paper and walk away. If she calls great if not at least you tried and can be proud of yourself. That way you don't have to risk rejection face to face.

Let go of the past. There's nothing you can do. You can start from today though.
 
Man dont give up there is more people like you going trough this remember if you really want it and have a strong will noone cant stop you its you deciding to masturbate or watch porn you will is everything focus and keep going
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Well-Known Member
Hey man, I feel you. Our stories present similarities. I've had problems with social anxiety since 18 when my porn habit got out of control completely. This social anxiety thing is sure a life killer. But we'll make it to the end, escape porn and get rid of the social anxiety. Bless.
 

Fappy

Respected Member
keep trying. relapses are part of the process and are necessary in a way (dont go doing it on purpose though!). get past the first week then see how you feel.
 

96LostWanderer

Active Member
DAY 1
- Slipped and relapsed today, was rough but im getting back up on my feet and will work my program today


Guidlines
PMO Free?:
Prayers?:
Cold Shower?:
Meditate?;
2 Phone calls?:
Go to Meeting SAA?:
Walk/Exercise?:

Don't beat yourself up about it, just keep on trying like you never relapsed, you did a 5 day streak so now go and beat it!
 
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