17 year old with severe case (Possibly)

Eren jaeger

Member
The first time I discovered masturbation was when I as in my late 15s, the first time I orgasmed it felt really fucking good (I did it to porn), the good old days are gone sadly though. I became addicted about the first month I started using it, and it was a severe addiction, of course I didn't realize this until much later until it was too late. I slowly escalated into 40-60 minute shower sessions masturbating to the point of orgasm 3 times in a row, I'd just masturbate, orgasm then wait 5 minutes and do the same again, I did this for about 6 months until I realized that my 3rd erection and orgasms were becoming weaker, then I stopped doing it the 3rd time and only did it twice (to porn still obviously)(at this point I still had no idea wtf I was doing to myself or my body)

This went on until one day I realized that nofap was a thing, at this point Im a year into masturbation to porn and I thought to myself how stupid this community is for cancelling something that was bringing so much joy into my life (Mind you I was very alone at this time because it was during the lockdown period and porn and orgasming helped me cope) I tried doing the nofap challenge just to prove to myself that it's not an addiction, 48 hrs in I relapse, I let it go and just say to myself that I'm not addicted to it, I just need it and if I need to quit I will do it (Lying to myself of course). About a month later I reflect and realize that my overall erections and orgasms are becoming weaker and weaker and I read on how your brain gets used to porn and has to down regulate your dopamine receptors which in turn fuck with your sexual and arousal mechanisms making the area down there very weak, so then I decided to quit for good. After another month of relapsing every 2nd day and orgasming twice in a row, I fall into the abyss and realize that I actually for the first time in my life have an addiction, (I had never dealt with the subject before and thought of addicts as losers and junkies who have no willpower). I also slowly realized that my emotions were becoming numb and every day life felt unhuman to me, I didn't cry/laugh/show emotions as much.

I struggled with this fact that Im addicted while still doing it till I learned about PIED which really fucked my shit up. I was coping before this but after this I just thought to myself that I'll never be normal again and my sex life with a real women in the futur is non existent and fucking over. This was about 9 months ago, for the first time I did nofap and made it to a week. The thing was though that every time I relapsed, I relapsed to porn thinking it would be same as relapsing without it but boy was I wrong. Everytime I relapsed I was still masturbating twice in a row with my erections being at 70% and my orgasms being like 30% power of what they were when I first started.

About 6 months ago I found this form with literally thousands of guys with the same problem as me and honestly it lowered my anxiety and depression knowing that there's a community that's struggling with the same problems as me. (Oh mind you that I was also excersising while struggling with this, During the past 2 yaers I went from 220 lbs to 160 currently). After reading this forum I realized the real problem is porn and that If I had discovered masturbating without porn, I probably would've been fine even If I was masturbating to that extent, but everytime I did relapse I would lie my self and say its not porn just so I can get the dopamine hit again, It's so emberassing to be such a slave to your neurochemical system. When the summer ended and I was in my peak physique I decided to take it seriously and just uninstalled every social media and everything to make this attempt as long as possible.

I started dating a girl, but after 3 weeks I broke up with her cause I was so afraid of having to tell her this problem that I have. I went a good 25 days without pmo. Then I imagined a sexual scenario and got an 80% erection and I masturbated and orgasmed to that only. Then I had a relapse after 9 days where I orgasmed once again without porn. But here's the tricky part, I've been porn free for about 2 months but since around a week ago I've had multiple relapses orgasming 2-3 times in a row without porn, which leads me to believe that orgasming is my main addiction and porn was just fueling it, but as it stands I just relapsed today writing this with grave dissapointment, being 2 months porn free.

The way I see my future heading in
- Have a 3-6 month hard reboot ( I did it for 25 days, how hard could it be?)
-Rewire with a partner (mostly to get my arousal system unfucked)
-Get my orgasms stronger close to day 1 (Not sure if it's possible)
-Solve my possible premature ejaculation (Has gotten better without porn around)
-Solve my sexual exhaustion with abstinence (Since orgasming 2-3 times a day for a year, will probably exhaust your reproductive system)

It's been 1 year and 10 months that this has been happening to me and I dont know if I will ever be a regular person again, all I can do is keep moving forward and try again, I'll update soon when I start my reboot
 

Fappy

Respected Member
yes youll be a regular person and again wiht a regular penis! if you stick to it and dont fuck it up, it WILL happen, trust me.
 

Eren jaeger

Member
yes youll be a regular person and again wiht a regular penis! if you stick to it and dont fuck it up, it WILL happen, trust me.
Thank you fappy. One of the worries I have is that I've exhausted my erection and orgasm system to a point that is unfixable, but will do!
 

Eren jaeger

Member
Day 4 : Have hit flatline, have no sexual energy or any energy whatsoever, I had a random boner yesterday but that was about it. I feel great, this is gonna be the successful run!
 

Eren jaeger

Member
Day 5: I did relapse, masturbated to orgasm twice in a row, but I learned my lesson, deleted tiktok which gave me the urge and Im gonna try again, no point in dwelling in the past, only imagining a better future mi amigos!
 
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