My meeting with porn and masturbation was at the age of 13-15 years of age, the introduction was the influence of a friend but the addiction of it all was my doing. l have been battling with this addiction since, it started with naked pictures of women on the internet then it all escalated to short porn videos and eventually pornhub. The feeling of doing it was extremely mind blowing at first attempts l would masturbate in my bedroom, shower and toilet. l would ask out a lot of girls just for them to send me nude pictures l realized l never really loved them. Masturbation took over my mind to the point l wouldn't feel settled unless l masturbated more than 3 times a day, whenever l stepped into the bathroom all l thought of was masturbation and eventually it would happen. l then went to boarding where at first l would hide at any chance given and go masturbate, l then tried to change my ways and reduced the amount of times l masturbate to the point l didnt do it at school.
l knew at school there was no way l would be exposed to porn or any sort of naked visuals so instead of imagining porn l decided to have a girlfriend at school whenever l had the argue to masturbate l would bottle it up and kiss her, l did all this to the point l started to genuinely what to kiss her, porn had phrased out my mind. But when l would get home for the holiday all my bad habits come back, l would try to stop the feeling but somehow l would jump back to porn. I have left boarding school now and have been trying to fight this on my own, l had a good spell of abstinence sometimes l would go for a month or two without porn and masturbation but then l feel back again last week. As l feel back l could feel all that argue coming back slowly l did it once last week and as l write this l am from masturbating, l feel the force of going back to pornhub dropping my pants down and giving myself seconds of joy. l am tired of having to fight with my mind day in and out, having flashes of porn in my mind, thinking of every girl l see naked and having sex with them and having no power or motivation to stop all these thoughts but l hope that stops today as l beginning my journey of reboot.
l knew at school there was no way l would be exposed to porn or any sort of naked visuals so instead of imagining porn l decided to have a girlfriend at school whenever l had the argue to masturbate l would bottle it up and kiss her, l did all this to the point l started to genuinely what to kiss her, porn had phrased out my mind. But when l would get home for the holiday all my bad habits come back, l would try to stop the feeling but somehow l would jump back to porn. I have left boarding school now and have been trying to fight this on my own, l had a good spell of abstinence sometimes l would go for a month or two without porn and masturbation but then l feel back again last week. As l feel back l could feel all that argue coming back slowly l did it once last week and as l write this l am from masturbating, l feel the force of going back to pornhub dropping my pants down and giving myself seconds of joy. l am tired of having to fight with my mind day in and out, having flashes of porn in my mind, thinking of every girl l see naked and having sex with them and having no power or motivation to stop all these thoughts but l hope that stops today as l beginning my journey of reboot.