First Time Using A Forum


New Member
So hello everyone,
I first heard of reboot at the age of 16, I was not even using porn as it is known today but youtube videos but it was the same addicted behaviour.
I tried and failed a few times and kinda focused on other things.
At age 22 I had anxiety when I understood that this is an addiction and I am addicted, so I tried again with no success. I saw a therapist a few times and quit it too due to high price and other circumstances.

Now at age 24, I am a few months in a psychotherapy, I saw a little improvement (from daily 3-4 times use I went to using on average every other day or sometimes if lucky even 2). Longest streak of my life was 10 days when I was in a camp, and 7 days at home.

I believe I have some issues from childhood and I am displaying addictive behavior in many things, I think I have ADHD, that's what the first therapist told me and porn gives you the needed Dopamine hit. I am very frustrated even though I keep trying for half a year now. This half year is the least PMO half year of my life since age 12.
But I want to get rid of it, my current therapist is not expensive as I contact her via internet in another country where it is cheaper.
Any suggestions on how to make therapy more successful? First therapist was addiction specialist and told me I need a group, it would be a great tool. But, I am shy, and afraid it might cause me problems later. Current therapist is more classic one that believes everything is childhood issues and even though I told her some things from your brain on porn her main point is that growing up only with mom and granny and having an abusive father until age 6 when parents seperated and I never saw him again is a major thing in all of this.

A little about me in this context, I have some sort of hatred towards women, I hate the fact that I was allowed as a kid to run away from martial arts when I had little frustration and I think it made me a quitter which I am trying to fix now. Since age 10 I was watching WWE until age 14, but at 12 found the women in it arousing and it created a fetish from day one which still lingers in me. I hate it.
I had 2 girlfriends, at age 18 and 19. Slept with two female friends at 21 and 23 but never had an orgasm in which I didn't masturbate myself. I think it is delayed ejaculation but last time at 23 I felt I am seconds away from experiencing ED and had to visualize porn scenarios involving the girl I was with.

I had anxiety and HOCD at 17 and little glimpses until 22 where after reading about PMO "changing" your tastes when online but not in real life, which was in my observation too, I relaxed a bit + worked with a therapist so this is as a non issue as it ever was I believe but I still hate falling into cuck porn sometimes which I usually watch, get disgusted and switch back to known ground with female wrestling stuff. I have a lot of hatred towards people in the porn industry as far as fantasizing about hurting them, but of course being a reasonable human with real life goals those things stay fantasies.

I want this to stop. I had enough. The pain. The bachelors degree I cant finish for 6 years now, actually having like 3-4 courses left. I hate the uncontrollable anger, the out of proportion ADHD, the much more rare but still possible anxiety instances (usually a qourter or half year few minute instances), I hate it all. I want to love myself but this addiction makes it hard even when I focus on it. I read a lot of self dev books like No More Mr Nice Guy, Six pillars of self esteem, 12 rules for life etc'
I am improving and life gets better, but addiction is ever present and no amount of life improvement stops the mid night wake ups in which I am almost robotically reach to PMO.

I need help, advice, encouragement or whatever can be found in this forum. I hope to win this battle and help others. Thanks in advance


You are doing great. Wish you all the very best. I have also started the nofap challenge for 1 month. We are in it together and WE WILL WIN. I feel truly happy and inspired by your story. All the best. Do let me know about your journey.


Respected Member
Hi! welcome to the nation.
seems as though your pretty far down into the porn hole, and its taken its toll on your life already. but dont despair! you have found the way to get better and if you stick to it it will work, trust me it works.
self help books might be good for a day or two, then you just forget about it after a setback. its more important to actually DO the thing than read about it or read about how others do it. if your longest streak is 10 days, then try to reach that agian first. you said you were at camp? so im assuming you had no access to electronic devices etc? well, you know what to do this time! remove yourself from them again, or set a timer and limit yourself a few mins per day ( i know, its possible to PMO in a few mins, ive done it. many times), but you need to be away from triggers like social media etc.
stick around and ask us anything youd like.