Finaly got a grip

I'm nearing 200 days (no P, 2x MO, 1x BJ+O) and I begin to experience joy from small things. Music feels great again, feeling the warmth from coming in from outside feels overwhelming, work is fulfilling and so on)
Still in Flatline and no Libido but i think it's heading into the right direction.:ninja:
 

zackergeet

Active Member
I'm nearing 200 days (no P, 2x MO, 1x BJ+O) and I begin to experience joy from small things. Music feels great again, feeling the warmth from coming in from outside feels overwhelming, work is fulfilling and so on)
Still in Flatline and no Libido but i think it's heading into the right direction.:ninja:
Congratulations man keep it up and let us know how your progress goes!
 
So today is day 200.
The weekend was pretty smooth sailing. The "natural high" from the days around 196 diminished, but still feeling good, maybe a bit short-fused.

Some background: I've consumed internet porn for 20 years, and i try to get rid form that habit for around 6 years! Had streaks of up to 140 days but still fell back frequently :(

But I've learnt a lot during that time. The feeling from around day 195 made it obvious that it's worth it and it is working! (Never had that before!)
 

Ani7

Member
I'm nearing 200 days (no P, 2x MO, 1x BJ+O) and I begin to experience joy from small things. Music feels great again, feeling the warmth from coming in from outside feels overwhelming, work is fulfilling and so on)
Still in Flatline and no Libido but i think it's heading into the right direction.:ninja:
Amazing Dude...Keep it up
 
I wrote down a bit from all attempts, not day by day but "significant" events, extreme ups and downs and so on.

First attempt was 2015 (33 y.o.) experienced those super-powers after around 3 weeks (women were extremely attracted 🥴, i especially remember one occasion, I walked in a bar/club and everyone turned their heads, holy shit, waiting at the counter I was surrounded and offered drinks, I almost couldn't dance because all the butts surrounding me, lol, i exaggerate but you know what I want to say.
In the aftermath at around 4 weeks the urges became so huge I folded...maybe chaser effect?

After a month or so, I attempted to start again but the urges were extreme, didn't make a week without pmo.

2 more failed attempts that year (around 10 days each, P urge)

2016

reduced PMO overall.

In March I started again, had a good run, super powers kicked in earlier around day 15, fell in my first flatline week 4, I got scared, "tested", end of streak 🤦‍♂️

some failed attempts that year (7-14 days, P urge)

2017

educated myself about nofap/yourbrainonporn etc.

further reduced PMO.

what has changed, I almost fall directly into flatline, no more super-powers whatsoever. Made it somewhat easier, had a good 140 day streak. can't remember what ended that streak.

Had another 90 day streak that year, it ended on an airplane, don't know why, I became so horny onboard, probably also chaser effect.

I was disappointed by the whole situation, every attempt started with a severe flatline. I don't wanted that. So this was a difficult year :censored:

2018

I came back to mind, my daughter was born, time to become a better man.
Had a good streak around 100 days, I got severe lower back pain, could barely walk or bend forward. Got checked, nothing found, got better after 2 weeks, came back after a month and disappeared. Then had my first vivid/wet dream, I was shocked, and decided that I don't want this and ended my streak (without knowing it is a good sign...).

further reduced PMO but no more attempts that year.

2019

had 2 streaks of around 70 days, the lower back pain came around day 50, heard about P.A.W.S., it's probably P.A.W.S.!

2020

like 2019, had some pretty good streaks, but P.A.W.S was crippling me.

further educated, incl. P.A.W.S.

2021

current streak started 8. April. had 5 episodes of severe P.A.W.S. so far (each ~10 days severe back pain) and one episode with depression and self-doubt. (never had that before). But I didn't fold. I'm determined.

As stated I now fall directly into flatline at the start. No problem. Severe Pain, no problem. I know it's only in my head!

So at day 195 I started like I can finally climb out of that dark hole (a bit enthusiastic, I even started this threat lol).

This streak is a real up and down (mentally and physically) had weeks of strong morning wood followed by weeks of bad sleep and a none existing penis.
Had days with Morning wood so hard I couldn't believe it. Had days with Morning wood so long lasting that it hurt. And then weeks with nothing.

I've had no vivid or wet dreams so far (i'm not concerned so far ;) ) and no libido but also no urges for P.
 
just a small note, the relapses from urges these last years all started with "ah these are just youtube videos", then "ah this is just vimeo", then "ah this is just instagram" and then it becomes absolutely ok "ah it's just some p*** site".
It is NOT ok and it is NOT normal!
It creeps back into your mind slowly but steadily.
 

ALM

Member
Thanks for sharing, it's been a long walk! 👏

Being honest, sometimes I'm worried about an hypothetical phase of rebooting hurting me more than healing. I still have morning woods, and if I don't, I can get one by fantasising at that moment of the day. I also don't have big impediments to have sex (yet, conditioned by porn-induced tastes). Then I think about the negative impact that PMO actually made on my life and I'm determined again, but I'm terrified about the idea of falling into a flatline and find things worst than they are now.

And agree about porn substitutes. I always unfollow/hide/not-recommend-anymore anything that pops in and makes me feel the trigger.
 
Thanks for sharing, it's been a long walk! 👏

Being honest, sometimes I'm worried about an hypothetical phase of rebooting hurting me more than healing. I still have morning woods, and if I don't, I can get one by fantasising at that moment of the day. I also don't have big impediments to have sex (yet, conditioned by porn-induced tastes). Then I think about the negative impact that PMO actually made on my life and I'm determined again, but I'm terrified about the idea of falling into a flatline and find things worst than they are now.

And agree about porn substitutes. I always unfollow/hide/not-recommend-anymore anything that pops in and makes me feel the trigger.
having read your thread (around 16 years of porn if i'm right), there are profound changes to your brain that won't heal/change without pain or within 90 days. (I wish it for you, but from my experience it's not possible).

I don't know if i could have made it on my first attempt with the knowledge that i have today, retrospectively i would say NO, if i remember the urges i've had. (and I don't assume that i'm on a safe stance now, the process just recently began to show some positive effects!)

So I would say: brace yourself for impact. Don't get scared by flatline or super-powers, try to balance and enjoy either way. It's a wild ride and I wish you all the best (keep us updated! reading these journals help a lot I think.)
 

MashuSan

Member
Man that's super inspirational and amazing, congratulations on all that you've done and been through so far and like my coach used to tell us: Be happy, don't be satisfied. Keep up the good work, you're motivating me to keep on trying too, thanks for this!!
 
Man that's super inspirational and amazing, congratulations on all that you've done and been through so far and like my coach used to tell us: Be happy, don't be satisfied. Keep up the good work, you're motivating me to keep on trying too, thanks for this!!
Thanks for your kind words. I wish you all the best!
 
Day 229...As I wrote, it felt a bit stagnant, but since day 227 the "super powers" are back! I can't believe it.
Almost every lady that walks by, greets, or look at me like... Wow it feels great! It's like during my first attempt in 2015.
And it hasn't faded for 3 days...
 
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