Successful Reboot - Leaving this forum for good


Well-Known Member
Hey guys a sort of quick - albeit critical post.

I left this forum for some time and really deepened my recovery.

It's been over 5 yrs without mo'ing to porn. And about a year without any glances at porn. No mo in some time. Successful sex and much of what I dreamed of when I first came here.

But there is more work I'd like to do. Continued improvement.

I see the majority of threads here people lapsing constantly and using language like "it happened" - the wording is constantly like this is something that can't be controlled.

I had tried 12 step and hearing over and over " you are powerless" did not work.

I came here and we used to have a good community - that helped.

Finally I committed to working through SMART recovery - a science based program. I was exposed to many people who actually take beating addiction seriously. Who put in work, who used systems. People who would die if they had another drink. The no fap community - does not have the culture of successfully beating addiction. It's about counting impermanent streaks - lapsing and connecting over the struggle.

Anyways - part of me wants to help the culture here but 1st of all I notice when I have advised people to try other then what they are trying - it's basically ignored.

And secondly - this forum I find it actually makes my own recovery feel less solid ( I am well equipped with tools to handle this however) attitudes of things happening, of it being impossible, of lapses are contagious. You can see it right here in the posts - everyone in the same place together at the bottom of the barrel watching porn every few days and being upset about it.

Anyways - I plan to continue to succeed and don't want to be exposed to this so I won't be back. I advise those serious about recovery 1) This is possible 2) It is your responsibility 3) Leave this losing environment and seek out success - it really can be done.


I appreciate your sentiment however I do not necessarily agree with it 100%. It's true that some people here and on other forums are complacent myself included but I have held a great streak purely out of the need to be better because once I removed the smokescreen, NoFap in itself, I realized I had a lot to work on.

Most people here are just beginners who have been struggling with the use of P on average 5+ Years, that's not a small number of years so obviously recovery is not going to be easy. Not condoning it, but relapsing is part of the process whether we like it or not however after a few relapses one has to take a deeper look into themselves and really think hard about what they want. I'm sure no one here is here because they want to be a cry baby about something that literally destroys lives if you take a good look at it.

I'm very happy you can no longer call yourself a P addict and have fully recovered, it's now in your lifestyle to shun P from your life, congratulations. I hope you can send some article links to some of these great processes you have mentioned above, it would be a pleasure to follow in the steps of someone who has had a good run as yourself.


Active Member
I agree with your rejection of this streak mentality, but at the same time I think it is a bit arrogant. Not everyone is the same. And the people who have to struggle more then we do to build up a new live, to stay motivated and change their whole lifestyle are nontheless seeking help sincerely. I think it is not just to see them loosers who don't get their shit together.
But I also agree with you, that this mentality of being so forgiving about relapses is not necesserely helping. It is not always helping to be understanding etc ("it is okay you had a relapse!") because this can lead to your subconsicoussnes thinking "hey, it is okay, so why should I stop my behaviour?". I think we have to be harder to ourselfes and to the others here, because that is more helpful than to only tell people " it is okay, you are doing great" when these people don't get one week clean together.

So thank you for your input and I think everyone should take this important message out of his post, while some parts can be easily ignored (the arrogant talking).

If you read this: Good luck for your further journey, I wish you the best and I agree, that at some point we have to leave the forum or it can hold us back. Farewell!