Freedom & Happiness

[Simon2]

Don't be too hard on yourself. She IS a real girl. It's good to try to meet a real person. I would just ask, is this a relationship you are continuing to pursue, with the hopes of meeting and getting to know each other, or was it just a one off for stimulation? Focus on the former in your goals on Tinder!

 

[seano]

Get back on that horse! A minor setback maybe, but you still made progress in going 15 days clean! One slip up doesn't erase that for you

 

[Blondie]

Hey @Ingibjörg, I would say this definitely wasn't a full on relapse, I mean, it was a real girl, so there's that. I agree with @SimonM, as long as you have intentions of meeting up with her, with an end goal in mind (even if just sex) then you're good to go.

The past 15 days, I got glimpses of how it felt like to be free of P. And had the realization I don't need this at all. And I am gratefull for that.

This is great, this is all that matters. You don't need it. We don't need it.

Keep killing it.

 

[Ingibjörg]

Day 1/30

Back on track. Today I felt very numb en tired. For me it is a crazy realization that I used to feel like this all the time. Fapping all the life out of me. I am glad I did not go on a binge and kept it to once. For me usually, the first 2 days are the most difficult, because I don't feel too well.

I did not had much urges today. Just a bit tured and foggy. But still less then if I would have gone on a binge.

 

[Ingibjörg]

Hey @Ingibjörg, I would say this definitely wasn't a full on relapse, I mean, it was a real girl, so there's that. I agree with @SimonM, as long as you have intentions of meeting up with her, with an end goal in mind (even if just sex) then you're good to go.


This is great, this is all that matters. You don't need it. We don't need it.

Keep killing it.

Get back on that horse! A minor setback maybe, but you still made progress in going 15 days clean! One slip up doesn't erase that for you

Don't be too hard on yourself. She IS a real girl. It's good to try to meet a real person. I would just ask, is this a relationship you are continuing to pursue, with the hopes of meeting and getting to know each other, or was it just a one off for stimulation? Focus on the former in your goals on Tinder!

Thank you for the support guys! I try to see the positives. I did not go on a binge, and did not watch anything nude and I am realizing I did not had fun while doing it.

I do would like to meet her up. But I have to be honest with myself. If I am going to do sexting with her, I am just fueling my addiction so I cannot do that. And it might even cause me to not get it up at the moment.

 

[Ingibjörg]

Day 0/30

Hello everyone, feels good to be back. A short summary of what happened the past week. Untill last night I stayed away from youtube and netflix, total of almost a month. But last night I opened it, and watched youtube for a very long time. I actually did not miss it at all. But once I start binge watching I cannot stop.

I take online classes to study a subject, and I started flirting with my teacher. Well actually she started and it caught me off-guard. We kept talking and things escalated into sexting. It was actually fun, did not really feel bad afterward like I did watching P. But ofcourse, it cannot stay like that. It happened a couple of times. And then last night, the addiction urges came back and I watched P again for the first time in a month as well.

I saw happening what I already knew, my brain always wants more and more dopamine. The longer I abstain the easier it actually is. But once I give it a little bit of space, things escalate. And I just cannot do that any longer. Because I deserve a better life then that.

Next 30 days:
- No PMO
- No social media/youtube/netflix/forums etc.
- No cafeïne
- Meditate

Edit: One interesting thing I would like to add. Once I started masturbating again. Everyone at work kept asking me: are you okay? I guess my energy got notacibly different..

 

[Ingibjörg]

Day 1/30

I barely slept last night. Because of that I chose to drink coffee today. And start with quiting that later.

I did some work on my finance, and text i did not reply to. And while doing so I felt really good making my life in order and resolving things that bother me.

now I cant turn to escapism, those things bother me more. And it feels good taking care of these things.

 

[tay97]

Edit: One interesting thing I would like to add. Once I started masturbating again. Everyone at work kept asking me: are you okay? I guess my energy got notacibly different..

When I had a streak going I have been told numerous times that I am shining and looking very sharp. NoFap magic, I love it. Can't wait to get it back in a few weeks.

 

[Ingibjörg]

Day 0/30

Hi everyone,

I am back, so the past months I fell back in to my old behaviors. Lot of watching porn, and being careless with my budget, lot of time wasted on social media, netflix etc. Unfortunatly, I have to go very deep before I am able to pull myself out again. And I am at that point again. I have a job where I have to be very social, and that goes fine. But besides that, I don't feel like doing much social things. I know it is because of the porn and masturbation. If girls show interest in me, I don't feel interested or motivated at all to do something with it. I rather go out of the way. And I know I will regret this a lot later if I don't pull myself together and fix this. Because life is going quick, and I know it would be better without it. And I have to quit in this lifetime, to be able to die in peace. So I might aswell do it now I am still young. Sounds a bit dramatic but it is true, I want to look back on my life and be proud of the obstacles I have overcome.

Like I mentioned earlier, people noticed it on me. If for example I watched porn and masturbated a bit excessive a night before work, people ask me what is wrong with me. So, I am very curious to see how this will change. I know I am not supposed to feel like this, so drained of energy and a bit anxious.

Happy to be back here.

Edit: I am also go to put my screen time here, to become more aware of that. Because I know I use my phone & laptop way too much.
Phone: 5.40
Laptop: 6.10

Shocking numbers lol, I know these days a lot of people are struggling with this, but it is kind of scary how much time I waste behind my screen. And that in combination with a full time job, I don't even know how I do it. I must say I also do some useful stuff on my laptop like studying but still.. I guess awareness is the first step.

Another thing I noticed is that there is a correlation between me doing weight lifting / running and nofap. So either when I workout nofap is easier. Or the other way around. But in this case I started working out again 1 week ago. And now desperately feel the need to quit PMO again.

 

[Ingibjörg]

Day 0/30

So, usually I only feel motivated to write here when I have a succesfull day. And I feel like I am spreading negative energy here by posting my failures. But I think, that it is even more important to write here on days that are not succesfull.

So, I came home and felt very sad and horny, I missed a girl that I met but cannot see right now. And I tried to run away from these feelings. Very quickly I was taking out my phone and started messaging other girls. That I used to talk dirty with or whatever. And I noticed what I was doing so shut it off real quick. However, later on the day I looked up some pictures on social media of cute girls and finished it.

I don't have to run away from feelings of sadness of being horny. It is part of life. And it is good to feel it, so I know what to work on and what is happening in my life. This numbing is not a solution. And also, giving in to these urge only makes the addiction more stronger. So I should enjoy the moments where I feel an urge and not give in to it. Because it means the addicition pathways are being changed.

Also, in these moments the girls on my screen feel like the most valuable thing on earth. And yes, of course there are pretty girls on my screen that I would love to mate with. But that is not what I am doing. I am looking at a screen. tricking my brain with stimulation, more then it can handle. But it is still a screen. And I am sitting by myself in my room looking at a screen. These girls have nothing to do with that.

For the rest, I had a pretty good day.

Laptop: 5:04
Phone 4:06
Total: 9:10

So, yesterday I thought how can I have some much screen time, how do I have time for this. But today I realized that when I am watching something on my laptop, most of the time I have my phone in my hand..

Have a great day everyone.

 

[Ingibjörg]

Day 1/30

I am back again. completed my first day again Yesterday. I really went down a bad path I would say. Wasting lots of time on my phone and internet. I really feel like I have been letting my life slip away from me. And everything went out of control. I know things can only go uphill from here if I choose to stay away from my addictions.

The main problem is, that I have lots of things I dont wan't to face. I procrastinate these things and things get out of control if i look the other way instead of facing them. And to not be bothered by these toughts of things i know I should be doing. I have to numb myself by watching porn/youtube etc.

I know things will be better, even tough i feel like i wasted a lot of things.

 

[Androg]

Day 1/30

I am back again. completed my first day again Yesterday. I really went down a bad path I would say. Wasting lots of time on my phone and internet. I really feel like I have been letting my life slip away from me. And everything went out of control. I know things can only go uphill from here if I choose to stay away from my addictions.

The main problem is, that I have lots of things I dont wan't to face. I procrastinate these things and things get out of control if i look the other way instead of facing them. And to not be bothered by these toughts of things i know I should be doing. I have to numb myself by watching porn/youtube etc.

I know things will be better, even tough i feel like i wasted a lot of things.

Can you break your tasks down into smaller steps? That will give you the satisfaction of achievement even before you finish an entire task.

 

[Ingibjörg]

Day 1

I feel like have no other choice than to quit porn. It just makes me feel very weak, and I can notice it in my work and private life. Very lethargic and not proactive to get things done. And it feels like people respect me less. Also, it makes me feel awkward around other people like I am playing a role. But not really having a connection.

It is also keeps getting worse and make me do things I am very embarrassed of.

I finished my first day free of porn, installed a blocker on my phone and laptop. And I feel ready. At least a month, that's the first goal. But of course I want to quit forever.

 

[Ingibjörg]

Day 2

I have decided for myself that I am not going to watch porn no matter what the coming 30 days. And that decision makes it easier. Because I don't have to keep thinking about it. I also blocked everything until the end on April so that helps a lot.

If I think about moments where I did watch it, it is a bit scary how I was not able to stop and could go on for hours. Because it felt so terrible to stop and lose the peak. Keep chasing that feeling that only makes the feeling of stopping so bad.

I hope after some weeks I feel so good that I don't want to escape from how I feel. Because now, the fapping makes me feel so bad and weak that I want to keep doing it to escape from that.

But today was fine, felt very tired, some slight urge. But overall I was ok.