How to talk to significant other/gf

[Lyrch42]

Man where do I start. I’m 21 years old I’ve had a unique journey. I first found out about PIED in 2019, did a full 90 day recovery but never was able to test out my Ed during a sexual experience because the fear of it happening again. Then I began M and PMO 2-3 times a week and it has been on and off until current time

fast forward to now, I’ve been in a relationship for about a year, in the beginning we took it slow and we got to the point where we were having sex, I had really good days, and some bad days. But the bad days I had watched porn either that week or weeks. Lately things have been bad. I quit watching porn all together, I never abused it, just 2-3 times a week casually and it never escalated to violence or anything past the categories offered on the PH page. I’ve been about a month clean, and it’s been a constant flatline, serious dead dick syndrome. I’m able to get morning wood. And the past two sexual encounters with my Gf I lost my erection right before we attempted intercourse. Then we’ll attempt oral and I’ll O completely soft. Afterwards we’ll be laying in bed, and she’ll ask what’s wrong. Deep down I’m almost on the urge if tears, because she has done nothing wrong, and doesn’t know what’s really going on. I just say I’m stressed and I beat myself up too much. I was hoping to be able to tackle this without telling here about my flatline/reboot. She’s coming down tomorrow night to visit and throughout the day I go through phases where I’m convinced myself that I’ll tell her, and then phases where I feel as if I can’t. We love each other more then anything, but I have tears in my eyes even thinking about telling her as I type this. I don’t know what I’m afraid of, disappointing her, thinking it’ll hurt her, losing her, or just plain embarrassment. Anyways I would appreciate any advice, do’ and dont’s, personal stories, and what I should continue doing all together. My hearts out to every man/women teen/adult going through this. May we all succeed and guide one another

 

[guiganvoger]

I know how tough it is to tell your significant other about this but it ultimately helps a lot more to tell her than keep her out of the loop. you may find it embarrassing to tell her the truth because you are worried about how she will view you. I'm willing to bet that she thinks that she is the problem and is beating herself up about it. By letting her in and educating her about what porn can do to men she will feel that you really trust her to be so open and vulnerable with her. If you haven't checked out yourbrainonporn.com, read it for yourself and use that to talk to your girlfriend and show her what you are going through. I guarantee she will feel relief that it's not her and appreciate you being honest with her.

 

[Flesh]

Hi,

If u got tears coming up, well that's quiete an emotional load and u gotta process it at some point anyway. U don't really have a choice, it's fearfull but worth it in the end, like a big step to take for a big move forward. U're OFF since a month+ now and I don't think she'll have a problem with this. What is a problem for a girl usually, is when u admit your problem and you still struggle with it (like you still pmo). So unless u're scared telling her coz this means that from the moment she knows there is no come back to the addiction without a big shame, u're fine.

And eventually she'll be pissed at first, but this will go and as you explain her the way u saw porn and the fact that it was not a "make-up" for what she lacks, in fact it had nothing to do with her at all, she'll be fine I think.

good luck

 

[Fappy]

there is no necessity for you to tell her anything about your porn problems. she may not react well... rather, the longer you are rebooting the weaker the symptoms become, until one day they disappear altogether. if you can avoid sex with her until you start feeling better you can avoid another confidence crushing sexual experience