How can I tell my GF of one year

Lyrch42

Member
Man where do I start. I’m 21 years old I’ve had a unique journey. I first found out about PIED in 2019, did a full 90 day recovery but never was able to test out my Ed during a sexual experience because the fear of it happening again. Then I began M and PMO 2-3 times a week and it has been on and off until current time

fast forward to now, I’ve been in a relationship for about a year, in the beginning we took it slow and we got to the point where we were having sex, I had really good days, and some bad days. But the bad days I had watched porn either that week or weeks. Lately things have been bad. I quit watching porn all together, I never abused it, just 2-3 times a week casually and it never escalated to violence or anything past the categories offered on the PH page. I’ve been about a month clean, and it’s been a constant flatline, serious dead dick syndrome. I’m able to get morning wood. And the past two sexual encounters with my Gf I lost my erection right before we attempted intercourse. Then we’ll attempt oral and I’ll O completely soft. Afterwards we’ll be laying in bed, and she’ll ask what’s wrong. Deep down I’m almost on the urge if tears, because she has done nothing wrong, and doesn’t know what’s really going on. I just say I’m stressed and I beat myself up too much. I was hoping to be able to tackle this without telling here about my flatline/reboot. She’s coming down tomorrow night to visit and throughout the day I go through phases where I’m convinced myself that I’ll tell her, and then phases where I feel as if I can’t. We love each other more then anything, but I have tears in my eyes even thinking about telling her as I type this. I don’t know what I’m afraid of, disappointing her, thinking it’ll hurt her, losing her, or just plain embarrassment. Anyways I would appreciate any advice, do’ and dont’s, personal stories, and what I should continue doing all together. My hearts out to every man/women teen/adult going through this. May we all succeed and guide one another
 

SexualHealing

Active Member
I'm a female. Having issues around not being able to O with my partner. I've lost complete arousal due to PMO. Those tears you've talked about, let them flow. I know the pain. For me this pain became so intense that I couldn't hold them back and in the middle of us having sex they come out. Perhaps the best thing I ever did in my life. You have no idea how much someone loves you until you show that person your true vulnerable self. He has seen me shed these tears many times but he is mature enough to know it has nothing to do with him or my love for him. There is nothing in the world I'd rather do than have incredible sex with my love every single day of my life. And he knows that. He can choose to stay or he can choose to go. I gave him these options. He is free to do as he wishes and that is what I always want in a relationship..freedom. He has chosen to stay, together we are going through this journey. You are not weak. You are strong and courageous. She will see that. Your heart will know the right time to express this to her if you choose too. Wishing you all the best. You will do great!
 

DLS184

Member
Man where do I start. I’m 21 years old I’ve had a unique journey. I first found out about PIED in 2019, did a full 90 day recovery but never was able to test out my Ed during a sexual experience because the fear of it happening again. Then I began M and PMO 2-3 times a week and it has been on and off until current time

fast forward to now, I’ve been in a relationship for about a year, in the beginning we took it slow and we got to the point where we were having sex, I had really good days, and some bad days. But the bad days I had watched porn either that week or weeks. Lately things have been bad. I quit watching porn all together, I never abused it, just 2-3 times a week casually and it never escalated to violence or anything past the categories offered on the PH page. I’ve been about a month clean, and it’s been a constant flatline, serious dead dick syndrome. I’m able to get morning wood. And the past two sexual encounters with my Gf I lost my erection right before we attempted intercourse. Then we’ll attempt oral and I’ll O completely soft. Afterwards we’ll be laying in bed, and she’ll ask what’s wrong. Deep down I’m almost on the urge if tears, because she has done nothing wrong, and doesn’t know what’s really going on. I just say I’m stressed and I beat myself up too much. I was hoping to be able to tackle this without telling here about my flatline/reboot. She’s coming down tomorrow night to visit and throughout the day I go through phases where I’m convinced myself that I’ll tell her, and then phases where I feel as if I can’t. We love each other more then anything, but I have tears in my eyes even thinking about telling her as I type this. I don’t know what I’m afraid of, disappointing her, thinking it’ll hurt her, losing her, or just plain embarrassment. Anyways I would appreciate any advice, do’ and dont’s, personal stories, and what I should continue doing all together. My hearts out to every man/women teen/adult going through this. May we all succeed and guide one another
Bro if you really love talk to her, you have to do
And when she really loves you, she will supports you

I met my girl 4 months ago and totally failed in bed and she thought it’s because her
I talk her anything (and damn it was the most emotionally Talk I have in life 😅)
I’m now about 2 months without P and M… my flatline was 40 days long and after that I was able for 2 weeks to have sex
Now I’m in a small flatline again, but its ok

you just have to talk to her
Everything will be fine 👌
 

Lyrch42

Member
I'm a female. Having issues around not being able to O with my partner. I've lost complete arousal due to PMO. Those tears you've talked about, let them flow. I know the pain. For me this pain became so intense that I couldn't hold them back and in the middle of us having sex they come out. Perhaps the best thing I ever did in my life. You have no idea how much someone loves you until you show that person your true vulnerable self. He has seen me shed these tears many times but he is mature enough to know it has nothing to do with him or my love for him. There is nothing in the world I'd rather do than have incredible sex with my love every single day of my life. And he knows that. He can choose to stay or he can choose to go. I gave him these options. He is free to do as he wishes and that is what I always want in a relationship..freedom. He has chosen to stay, together we are going through this journey. You are not weak. You are strong and courageous. She will see that. Your heart will know the right time to express this to her if you choose too. Wishing you all the best. You will do great!
Thank you for this..

This last Saturday we went and got coffee, I was able to build up the courage to start the conversation, explained everything, how I found this page, how no one ever told me what effects PMO would reap. Told her about this flatline I’ve been in for a month and the process of the reboot, and how I’ve been back and fourth w out telling her. The whole time she held my hand, looked into my eyes, after I was done talking she was almost at tears herself, she said ‘ I’m so sorry you had to go through this alone, explained how she was so glad I told her, how hard it must’ve been but explained how strong our relationship was, even though we’re dating, our were partners for everything. Explained how sex wasn’t at all the only reason she was with me.

I think for anyone in the position I was in, lost and wondered what I had to do. I came to this conclusion. ‘ I have to do this, whether she stays with me or leaves, I have to do this for myself, my mental state, my confidence, my happiness
As humans I feel as if sometimes we rely on people for this happiness unknowingly. So me must control only what we can control. YOU can work on yourself, work on addictions, drive for happiness. YOU can’t control what others will do. Don’t stress what will they think, say, or do. If YOU show that you are investing into yourself, they will recognize this and if they really care about and love you. They will understand and assist you during your journey.
 

Betrayed

Member
Way to go! I so wish my man would have come forward to me instead of lying for so long. I think I would have responded the same had he cam to me right away. Now I’m just devastated and feel broken from the lies. Good for you do addressing this head on!
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
I don’t have time to write much but I cannot stress to you how much it will help to have your girlfriend on your side. I truly hope you decide to have that hard conversation with her. I’m pulling for you
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
I don’t have time to write much but I cannot stress to you how much it will help to have your girlfriend on your side. I truly hope you decide to have that hard conversation with her. It’ll be hard, but you might find your relationship gets stronger through the process. Plus she’ll gain an understanding of what’s going on and possibly realize it has nothing to do with your attraction to her. There is nothing wrong with her.
 
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