Carl Smith - Living Free


Active Member
Day 413


Do I still remember some scenes from porn? Honestly, yes – but they are much less stimulating. It’s like an old, burnt cigarette, that generates a small amount of dopamine. What has been seen can’t be unseen, but it will get blurrier over time, and not dwelled upon.
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Active Member
Day 420


It doesn’t help you appreciate beauty. After years of looking for “new perfect 10s” that are “just your type” online, that thrill will become harder to find, and you’ll spend most of your time searching in frustration for something new. The hottest, most surgically enhanced (fake) women are now just ordinary to you.

Fixating on the naked, sexual parts of women dulls your ability to appreciate the beauty of their smile, or their eyes lighting up when they talk or laugh. After quitting porn, you will be amazed how beautiful real, average women are — even with their clothes on!


Active Member
Day 436

The stormy waves in my mind have changed into a smooth, still lake. It’s an amazing feeling of balance and contentment. I believe that smashing my brain with dopamine “junk food” was preventing me from finding this place, but this is where I want to stay.

I actually am in the best mental health in my life...


Active Member
Day 464 - Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for?

I'm thankful for the crazy mental energy and focus I've had since I quit porn and video game addiction.

I've spent the last week working on a new hobby website, writing a 2nd ebook, and learning new languages like TypeScript and modern web tech for mobile. This is going to be my new hobby for 2023.

The work has gone so well -- it hasn't been frustrating and I have patience when I get stuck. Honestly, I hope the work doesn't go too fast because then I'll be without a hobby again. It's hard finding enough things to occupy my brain, that don't depress me...

- C Smith


So impressed to see Day 464 @Carl_Smith - I am on day 8, so sometimes I feel like i have a mountain to climb, but seeing posts like this makes me realize that I can do it as well, one day after the next, one foot after another.


Active Member
Day 503 - Year end wrap up. My 3 biggest dopamine enemies, which threaten my physical and mental health:

✅ Mostly stayed off of carb addiction, did "intermittent fasting" all year. Only eat from 12pm-5:30pm.
✅ Stayed off of porn all year, no fapping to screens. Watched 1 ecchi show, but it wasn't even for the sex content (the humor and voices get me). I just fap to things I remember from years ago if I'm super horny.
✔/- Mostly stayed off of video games. On xmas break, I played a few days straight (single player games) and felt terrible afterwards. Like really depressed, life is pointless, etc. -- yep, that's why they're bad for me and my kids. After I quit for a day, I felt much happier. Imagine that. Not doing more than 2 hours a day for the rest of break.

Since I've quit porn, I've written 2 ebooks, learned how to do voiceover as a hobby, and spent more time reading books to my kids and playing games with them. Hopefully I will find a few more hobbies for the new year, that will keep my mind busy.

edit: 4th bad dopamine thing is "social media", which should really be called "antisocial media". I'm staying off of reddit, it's pointless to argue with trolls. I feel much better when I'm not posting or even reading it. I read substack once in a while.
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Active Member
Day 509 -- Starting a 5 day nofap today. I've done this a few times in the last few months so I'm extra horny for my wife and can finish quickly. It's important for me to do this (age 42 / been married 16 years), but it is not easy. I've been jerking off since age 13 (from memory) so it's a real habit.
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Respected Member
Hi @Carl_Smith good to hear from you and a very happy new year to you!

I attribute my improvements to complete abstinence owing to
1. Complete neurological recovery and stability (no O)
2. No big hits to look forward to (Sex or M)
P is already a non issue since labelling it as poison.

This forces me to deal with reality without any escape or avoidance, which turns out is quite manageable and provides excellent outcomes.

Perhaps it's something you can consider doing too.