Sad to have lost almost everything to +20 years of PMO

Richard44

Member
Good luck dude. You're doing the right things. Don't punish yourself too much. We've all got baggage we carry with us. Salvage the best of what you've learned from your experiences and use it to make yourself a better version. You're making the right choices now. Keep it up.
Thanks man, good luck to you to and happy new year and may 2022 be a great year for you and you family!

Update:
Today 174 days free of PMO. Feeling pretty good a bit tired because of new years eve but overall good.
Will keep on abstaining. One thing i keep Wondering about would I be ready to try and date agian. I have read numerous times that rewiring could be done immediatly but i am not sure how my ED/DE is at the moment. I can only find out by trying i know but the thought of it scares me.

The only orgasms I had since 11 july 2021 are two wet dreams/nocturnal emissions. as explained above my EQ has dramatically improved during my reboot. I have been in flatlines throughout my reboot where my dick was just shriveled up and turtled up and could not get any erection. No morning woods just dead. The difference then and now is insane also the sensitivity is so much better. The deathgrip is fading and that makes me feel good.

I wonder if i just should get myself some ED drugs and take that on dates just as a precaution just to be save. I have been with the same woman for 20 years and having to battle through all this and switch partner might cause some anxiety. I know it will happen if you tink it will happen but this I find thought to deal with.

Stopping PMO was easy the next steps are the hard ones as you need to get out there and maybe get burned by yourself
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Thanks man, good luck to you to and happy new year and may 2022 be a great year for you and you family!

Update:
Today 174 days free of PMO. Feeling pretty good a bit tired because of new years eve but overall good.
Will keep on abstaining. One thing i keep Wondering about would I be ready to try and date agian. I have read numerous times that rewiring could be done immediatly but i am not sure how my ED/DE is at the moment. I can only find out by trying i know but the thought of it scares me.

The only orgasms I had since 11 july 2021 are two wet dreams/nocturnal emissions. as explained above my EQ has dramatically improved during my reboot. I have been in flatlines throughout my reboot where my dick was just shriveled up and turtled up and could not get any erection. No morning woods just dead. The difference then and now is insane also the sensitivity is so much better. The deathgrip is fading and that makes me feel good.

I wonder if i just should get myself some ED drugs and take that on dates just as a precaution just to be save. I have been with the same woman for 20 years and having to battle through all this and switch partner might cause some anxiety. I know it will happen if you tink it will happen but this I find thought to deal with.

Stopping PMO was easy the next steps are the hard ones as you need to get out there and maybe get burned by yourself
Good luck brother. Keep is posted. I’m in the same boat except not switching partners. That adds a whole new level of mental shit im sure.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Hi Richard, I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. Life can be hell sometimes, and often we're our own worst enemy. But the fact is no one out there is really talking about porn, and the dangers of it, so we should give ourselves a little bit of a break. Congratulations on a new you, and making a complete 180.

I don't know if I would take any ED drugs, because your body is recovering and that would just mess up and confuse you as to where you really are in your recovery. Sure, it might be embarrassing if your man downstairs doesn't work, but that's part of this journey. We got ourselves into this mess, willingly or unwillingly, and now we have to get ourselves out of it. Just my two cents. Either way, great job in making a significant life change!
 
Last edited:

Richard44

Member
Hi Richard, I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. Life can be hell sometimes, and often we're our own worst enemy. But the fact is no one out there is really talking about porn, and the dangers of it, so we should give ourselves a little bit of a break. Congratulations on a new you, and making a complete 180.

I don't know if I would take any ED drugs, because your body is recovering and that would just mess up and confuse you as to where you really are in your recovery. Sure, it might be embarrassing if your man downstairs doesn't work, but that's part of this journey. We got ourselves into this mess, willingly or unwillingly, and now we have to get ourselves out of it. Just my two cents. Either way, great job in making a significant life change!
Hi Blondie, Thanks a lot for your kind words mate. About giving myself a break I am really trying to do that but i am just so angry and dissapointed at myself for this really big life event that i caused myself. I am not sure if i can forgive myself. It is crystal clear to me now that I AM responsible for this disgusting situation and that i lost it all.

Yeah regarding the ED drugs i dont think i could handle a big hit like that, finally finding someone and then not able to perform. I will wait a bit more that was already my plan like 3 months or so. I wont MO aswell i got two WD in my abstince so far. I think MO at this point wont do me any good anyway although my Libido is quite low to be honest. Sensitivy is getting better still so the DGS is healing however how is my ED/DE those are the million dollar questions.

Thanks again BLondie for your thoughts, appreciate it.

182 days free of PMO its at least something
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Hi Blondie, Thanks a lot for your kind words mate. About giving myself a break I am really trying to do that but i am just so angry and dissapointed at myself for this really big life event that i caused myself. I am not sure if i can forgive myself. It is crystal clear to me now that I AM responsible for this disgusting situation and that i lost it all.

Yeah regarding the ED drugs i dont think i could handle a big hit like that, finally finding someone and then not able to perform. I will wait a bit more that was already my plan like 3 months or so. I wont MO aswell i got two WD in my abstince so far. I think MO at this point wont do me any good anyway although my Libido is quite low to be honest. Sensitivy is getting better still so the DGS is healing however how is my ED/DE those are the million dollar questions.

Thanks again BLondie for your thoughts, appreciate it.

182 days free of PMO its at least something
I get both of your points about ED drugs. A lot of guys on this forum actually point blame at ED drugs for causing more problems.
I’m not sure what the right answer is but I can say this:

First - ED pills should NOT be used in order to keep watching porn AND having sex. It’s no cure. A reboot/rewire is the only cure

Second - I found videos and articles by Scandinavian Bon extremely helpful to me. www.pmoflatline.com
Check him out. He actually doesn’t have a problem using ED pills as a transitionary tool.

Third - What we need to remember is that broken cocks are not broken cocks. Our cocks are fine. It’s our brains that are broke. If you are unable to become aroused by a human partner, all the viagra in the world won’t help. Without a proper reboot, pills are useless. I have a bucket full of viagra in my drawer. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t do anything at all. After 3 months of reboot, I had sex the other day with no pills at all.

The goal here is to reclaim our natural, healthy sexual function. The fear is that one will become reliant on pills for sex.

After a year of failing to fuck my wife, my performance anxiety was awful. I absolutely understand. I think you’re ok using them to help you “get back on the saddle” so to speak. As long as it’s used to help you transition from PIED to normal function and you stop after that. Mentally they can fuck with you. I had to give my pills to my wife because if I thought there was even a chance we would try for sex I would take one “just to be safe”. That’s not healthy
 

Richard44

Member
I get both of your points about ED drugs. A lot of guys on this forum actually point blame at ED drugs for causing more problems.
I’m not sure what the right answer is but I can say this:

First - ED pills should NOT be used in order to keep watching porn AND having sex. It’s no cure. A reboot/rewire is the only cure

Second - I found videos and articles by Scandinavian Bon extremely helpful to me. www.pmoflatline.com
Check him out. He actually doesn’t have a problem using ED pills as a transitionary tool.

Third - What we need to remember is that broken cocks are not broken cocks. Our cocks are fine. It’s our brains that are broke. If you are unable to become aroused by a human partner, all the viagra in the world won’t help. Without a proper reboot, pills are useless. I have a bucket full of viagra in my drawer. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t do anything at all. After 3 months of reboot, I had sex the other day with no pills at all.

The goal here is to reclaim our natural, healthy sexual function. The fear is that one will become reliant on pills for sex.

After a year of failing to fuck my wife, my performance anxiety was awful. I absolutely understand. I think you’re ok using them to help you “get back on the saddle” so to speak. As long as it’s used to help you transition from PIED to normal function and you stop after that. Mentally they can fuck with you. I had to give my pills to my wife because if I thought there was even a chance we would try for sex I would take one “just to be safe”. That’s not healthy
Hi @Tryinghere

Thanks a lot for your reply of course i wont use ED pills to keep watching porn as i dont even want to watch it nor am i intending to do so in the future. I want to use them as a transionary tool and dont want to be realiant on pills at all. I want to use them as you put it to get back in the saddle.

Thanks for your reply mate!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
I get both of your points about ED drugs. A lot of guys on this forum actually point blame at ED drugs for causing more problems.
I’m not sure what the right answer is but I can say this:

First - ED pills should NOT be used in order to keep watching porn AND having sex. It’s no cure. A reboot/rewire is the only cure

Second - I found videos and articles by Scandinavian Bon extremely helpful to me. www.pmoflatline.com
Check him out. He actually doesn’t have a problem using ED pills as a transitionary tool.

Third - What we need to remember is that broken cocks are not broken cocks. Our cocks are fine. It’s our brains that are broke. If you are unable to become aroused by a human partner, all the viagra in the world won’t help. Without a proper reboot, pills are useless. I have a bucket full of viagra in my drawer. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t do anything at all. After 3 months of reboot, I had sex the other day with no pills at all.

The goal here is to reclaim our natural, healthy sexual function. The fear is that one will become reliant on pills for sex.

After a year of failing to fuck my wife, my performance anxiety was awful. I absolutely understand. I think you’re ok using them to help you “get back on the saddle” so to speak. As long as it’s used to help you transition from PIED to normal function and you stop after that. Mentally they can fuck with you. I had to give my pills to my wife because if I thought there was even a chance we would try for sex I would take one “just to be safe”. That’s not healthy
I do seem the benefits of both sides of the question here. As long as we know what we're actually shooting for in the end, then yes, maybe a little help here and there would be okay. Thanks for the different perspective.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Hi Blondie, Thanks a lot for your kind words mate. About giving myself a break I am really trying to do that but i am just so angry and dissapointed at myself for this really big life event that i caused myself. I am not sure if i can forgive myself. It is crystal clear to me now that I AM responsible for this disgusting situation and that i lost it all.

Yeah regarding the ED drugs i dont think i could handle a big hit like that, finally finding someone and then not able to perform. I will wait a bit more that was already my plan like 3 months or so. I wont MO aswell i got two WD in my abstince so far. I think MO at this point wont do me any good anyway although my Libido is quite low to be honest. Sensitivy is getting better still so the DGS is healing however how is my ED/DE those are the million dollar questions.

Thanks again BLondie for your thoughts, appreciate it.

182 days free of PMO its at least something
My pleasure Richard. 182 days free is a great thing and is most definitely something! Everything downstairs (actually upstairs) will work itself out in the end. Keep killing it.
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
I do seem the benefits of both sides of the question here. As long as we know what we're actually shooting for in the end, then yes, maybe a little help here and there would be okay. Thanks for the different perspective.
That’s it then isn’t it? End game is different for everyone. My case would be a bit different than a 20’year old who has no real sexual experience and vice versa. That person has different end goals than me.

I think we can all agree on the main thing:
We’ve had to learn the hard way that pornography breaks our brains and destroys our ability to have a sexual relationship with another human being. The only real cure is a reboot/rewire.


After that, whatever works for the individual I think. Again, I can ABSOLUTELY see how taking ED pills can be a slippery slope. In the beginning of my rewire I became completely afraid to even think about sex without a viagra handy. It would be VERY easy to become dependent (psychologically) on them.

Luckily for me, an open conversation with my wife did the trick. We talked about my desire to not use them and how that decision might prolong our inability to have sex. I took some advice from a guy here on this forum and we decided that we would be physical together without any expectations of an erection.

The first day I used my hands and mouth on her. My erection came and went throughout the session, but sex was off the table. The very next morning I was legitimately horny for the first time in fucking months. We ended up having sex that night and again the following morning.

Point being: it was only AFTER a proper reboot AND an emotional and raw conversation with my spouse AND after removing all sexual expectations that we were able to have sex without pills.

If I would have been with a new partner, there’s no way I would have ever been able to have the discussion(s) that needed to happen in order to remove the pills. It would have been far easier to just pop a pill the first few times I was with someone.

The key here that I think is important to remember. AVOID the pills until you’re reboot isn’t fresh anymore. Give your body a chance to recover. My wife and I tried for too much sex too early in the process (with pills) and it sent me into a 4 week flatline. I didn’t get a boner at all for almost 3 weeks. Not to mention pills would only work occassionally.
Step one - no porn
Step two - avoid orgasm for awhile
Step three - find what works for you and make that shit happen.
You are all an inspiration to me. I check these forums more than I’d care to admit. Shooting the shit on here with you guys has been beyond helpful in my recovery.
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Do you guys have any tips on what i could do to get better i am really not sure where I am at the moment in terms of rebooting. I still have no libido, no interest to chase the real thing, no interest at PMO at all.
I've posted on this thread and have been following you. I'm not as far in as you are, but I've recently seen some good results so I figured I'd share. I'm not keeping count of days, but I'm somewhere 100/110 plus. no PMO. No MO since around November 20ish. My biggest issue was PIED. All the tips you've seen (cold showers, exercise, intermittent fasting) ALLLLLLLL have helped me a lot. Especially the cold shower. shower regularly, then at the end just shut the hot completely off. Start off short....15 seconds or so. Then gradually increase your time in the cold daily until you can do a minute or two. It sucks and is a bit painful while you're in it, but as soon as you shut the water off you'll feel great. I found cold showers helped my mood IMMENSELY when I was in a deep and depressed flatline. Often times after I shut the water off I have to just stand there laughing for awhile. You'll actually feel a little high from it too.

It sounds to me like you're in a long flatline. You've been PMO free for a long time yet still struggling with libido. I have this struggle too. I had a wife laying in bed with me and zero desire to initiate anything. I think you sometimes have to force your libido awake. You've gotten used to "not using it" so your brain says "keep that shit shut down....it's not needed right now". You've got to convince your brain that yes....libido is, in fact, needed. In my case, my wife kind of took the lead. She knew where I was mentally and took it upon herself to initiate rewiring activities (the details of which we can get into in another conversation). My libido is in the process of coming back. It's not there yet. Here are some tips I've read about that seem like they'd be helpful for someone that doesn't have a partner to rewire with:
- socialize. Be around women
- take a yoga class
- better yet, take a dance class. You'll be in a situation where you have to be close to women. You'll be touching them, smelling them, interacting with them, moving with them, speaking to them. I like the idea of taking a class because it gives you the chance to interact with and look at women without being a creeper.
- don't be afraid to go on a few dates....and if you meet someone you're interested in, don't be afraid to enter into a relationship.
- utilize the other tips you've read about too. Exercise is the hardest for me to do consistently. Good diet and imtermittent fasting helps. Focus on your general overall health and fitness. It will help

The more and more I travel down this road, the more I'm coming to understand that it's all about conditioning brain responses to certain stimuli. That shit doesn't happen overnight and it takes repetition. You didn't break yourself by watching porn once and you didn't start healing yourself by stopping for just one day. I think you need to force yourself into situations where you need to interact with women. Every time you have an interaction with a woman you find attractive, you're training your brain a little bit more to respond a little bit more. Now that the porn is out of the way that is.

You've kicked serious ass on your reboot. It's my opinion that you're in desperate need of a person to rewire with.

To answer your stated question though. My general timeline is as follows:

day 1-30: No PMO, no sex, MO maybe twice.
Day 30-40: successful PIV with wife every day for 5 days. sometimes with viagra, sometimes not. I'm cured!!
Day 40-50ish: sexual frustration. instagram hottie scrolling. dick broke again quickly. failed sex a few times.
Day 50-100ish: massive flatline. NO PMO. NO MO. NO SEX. I just focused on staying the course during this time. (I discovered cold showers during this period)
Day 100 - present: long conversation with wife. Sexual activites with the expressed goal of NOT actually having sex. I would take care of her and touch her all over. Sometimes I would penetrate her....but I would NOT orgasm. We only did this one time....but I believe it was crucial. The two days following that, we had sex twice and I had an orgasm both times. This was last weekend and still no signs on a flatline. I woke up horny this morning and ready to go. I'm not confident it will work if I were to try for PIV right now. But I'm way better than a few weeks ago.

I hope this helps man. Good luck!
 

Richard44

Member
I've posted on this thread and have been following you. I'm not as far in as you are, but I've recently seen some good results so I figured I'd share. I'm not keeping count of days, but I'm somewhere 100/110 plus. no PMO. No MO since around November 20ish. My biggest issue was PIED. All the tips you've seen (cold showers, exercise, intermittent fasting) ALLLLLLLL have helped me a lot. Especially the cold shower. shower regularly, then at the end just shut the hot completely off. Start off short....15 seconds or so. Then gradually increase your time in the cold daily until you can do a minute or two. It sucks and is a bit painful while you're in it, but as soon as you shut the water off you'll feel great. I found cold showers helped my mood IMMENSELY when I was in a deep and depressed flatline. Often times after I shut the water off I have to just stand there laughing for awhile. You'll actually feel a little high from it too.

It sounds to me like you're in a long flatline. You've been PMO free for a long time yet still struggling with libido. I have this struggle too. I had a wife laying in bed with me and zero desire to initiate anything. I think you sometimes have to force your libido awake. You've gotten used to "not using it" so your brain says "keep that shit shut down....it's not needed right now". You've got to convince your brain that yes....libido is, in fact, needed. In my case, my wife kind of took the lead. She knew where I was mentally and took it upon herself to initiate rewiring activities (the details of which we can get into in another conversation). My libido is in the process of coming back. It's not there yet. Here are some tips I've read about that seem like they'd be helpful for someone that doesn't have a partner to rewire with:
- socialize. Be around women
- take a yoga class
- better yet, take a dance class. You'll be in a situation where you have to be close to women. You'll be touching them, smelling them, interacting with them, moving with them, speaking to them. I like the idea of taking a class because it gives you the chance to interact with and look at women without being a creeper.
- don't be afraid to go on a few dates....and if you meet someone you're interested in, don't be afraid to enter into a relationship.
- utilize the other tips you've read about too. Exercise is the hardest for me to do consistently. Good diet and imtermittent fasting helps. Focus on your general overall health and fitness. It will help

The more and more I travel down this road, the more I'm coming to understand that it's all about conditioning brain responses to certain stimuli. That shit doesn't happen overnight and it takes repetition. You didn't break yourself by watching porn once and you didn't start healing yourself by stopping for just one day. I think you need to force yourself into situations where you need to interact with women. Every time you have an interaction with a woman you find attractive, you're training your brain a little bit more to respond a little bit more. Now that the porn is out of the way that is.

You've kicked serious ass on your reboot. It's my opinion that you're in desperate need of a person to rewire with.

To answer your stated question though. My general timeline is as follows:

day 1-30: No PMO, no sex, MO maybe twice.
Day 30-40: successful PIV with wife every day for 5 days. sometimes with viagra, sometimes not. I'm cured!!
Day 40-50ish: sexual frustration. instagram hottie scrolling. dick broke again quickly. failed sex a few times.
Day 50-100ish: massive flatline. NO PMO. NO MO. NO SEX. I just focused on staying the course during this time. (I discovered cold showers during this period)
Day 100 - present: long conversation with wife. Sexual activites with the expressed goal of NOT actually having sex. I would take care of her and touch her all over. Sometimes I would penetrate her....but I would NOT orgasm. We only did this one time....but I believe it was crucial. The two days following that, we had sex twice and I had an orgasm both times. This was last weekend and still no signs on a flatline. I woke up horny this morning and ready to go. I'm not confident it will work if I were to try for PIV right now. But I'm way better than a few weeks ago.

I hope this helps man. Good luck!
Hi @Tryinghere

Thanks a lot for both your extended answers and Tips, its really appreciated mate!

You are right as with a new partner i cant have that discussion so i will probably use the ED meds in the start just to be safe and dont disapoint her and myself.

I do all the tips mentioned in your posts except the cold showers. I should start using them aswell and train more, i looked in my phone the garmin app (garmin smart watch) that tracks my walks. Since october i have walked 785 kilometer which is not that bad. But i need to use the weights more. More excercise with weights and Hiit would benefit me.

The libido thing is very annoying. I can get hard by touch alone I tested this but i never MO to jump start things. As we are in lockdown and i dont feel ready for dating yet, the dancing classes/yoga classes are not possible at the moment although i will definately try those as well as starting online dating at some point.

For now I will just keep on going abstaining and keep doing what i do.

What is interesting though is that i had 3 WD's during this reboot with the first at 73 days in and sending me in a mini flatline with the usual symptoms dead dick etc. The second WD i had at day 158 (85 days later) with no flatline symptoms at all.

So first it took 73 days for the first WD and then 85 days for the second WD. What I find strange is that yesterday night after 21 days after the second WD i had one agian. So far so flatline symptoms but it seems a bit quick if i look at the first 2 WD's

It took only 21 days for the 3th one.
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Hi @Tryinghere

Thanks a lot for both your extended answers and Tips, its really appreciated mate!

You are right as with a new partner i cant have that discussion so i will probably use the ED meds in the start just to be safe and dont disapoint her and myself.

I do all the tips mentioned in your posts except the cold showers. I should start using them aswell and train more, i looked in my phone the garmin app (garmin smart watch) that tracks my walks. Since october i have walked 785 kilometer which is not that bad. But i need to use the weights more. More excercise with weights and Hiit would benefit me.

The libido thing is very annoying. I can get hard by touch alone I tested this but i never MO to jump start things. As we are in lockdown and i dont feel ready for dating yet, the dancing classes/yoga classes are not possible at the moment although i will definately try those as well as starting online dating at some point.

For now I will just keep on going abstaining and keep doing what i do.

What is interesting though is that i had 3 WD's during this reboot with the first at 73 days in and sending me in a mini flatline with the usual symptoms dead dick etc. The second WD i had at day 158 (85 days later) with no flatline symptoms at all.

So first it took 73 days for the first WD and then 85 days for the second WD. What I find strange is that yesterday night after 21 days after the second WD i had one agian. So far so flatline symptoms but it seems a bit quick if i look at the first 2 WD's

It took only 21 days for the 3th one.
Well you're doing great. I have a hard time with exercising consistently. Oh! I've been meditating for a week or so now and it's been great.

As far as flatline from WD....I'm not too sure honestly. I've never had a WD in my life...even during reboot. I had sex about 30-40 days into my reboot and it sent me into a pretty gnarly flatline for 3-4 weeks. Had sex again for the first time since last weekend. Did it twice and no signs of flatline. I think as we heal and start getting back to "normal operation" it'll lessen.
 

Richard44

Member
Hi All,

Been a while since i posted an update but i guess i shared one for those interested.

Today I Hit Day 233 PMO free thats 7,5 months which I feel proud off.

3 weeks ago i finally started to go the gym 3 times a week and that also is a big step for me.

I need to really get myself to go there but I will push myself to go there. I still do my daily walks outside which i actually really like and this helps tremendous.

I am actually also in a better place now mentally after the break up and it gets better day by day.

I think at some point in the coming months i will try dating agian (if i can find a date that is haha) but that gives me anxiety as although my sensitivity increased downstairs i had really bad DE and eventually ED/PIED. Will use pills I think in the start for a boost in confidence. I might try and MO in the coming weeks, not sure.

I also started some manual stretching and bought a cannister to do some foreskin restoration as i feel that circumsision is also a big part of the ED/DE and combine this with porn addiction and Deathgrip, well you are fucked then. I am living proof of that.

I keep moisturising the penis and glans as that helps a lot!

Anyway feel free to ask anything if you want or comment, i will reply.

Thank you everyone!
 

Richard44

Member
Great to see you have such a long streak! Makes my 27 days look nugatory! Keep it up mate, and keep up the gym!
Hi @SmokenMirrors Thanks for your kind reply mate, that keeps me going! Your 27 days is a great achievement. Keep on my friend! Keep your focus and never let your guard down. I am very determined to change my life around and the gym. I will keep going.

Even though i see girls lifting and using more weight then me haha. I am at the point i dont care I am only focussed on what I am doing. Who knows how much i can lift and reps i can do in 6 months from now. I keep truckin on!

I came today to actually delete my account since I feel it has no use to me. Thanks for your reply thought kept me thinking.
 

SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
Hi @SmokenMirrors Thanks for your kind reply mate, that keeps me going! Your 27 days is a great achievement. Keep on my friend! Keep your focus and never let your guard down. I am very determined to change my life around and the gym. I will keep going.

Even though i see girls lifting and using more weight then me haha. I am at the point i dont care I am only focussed on what I am doing. Who knows how much i can lift and reps i can do in 6 months from now. I keep truckin on!

I came today to actually delete my account since I feel it has no use to me. Thanks for your reply thought kept me thinking.
It's always great to see a success story! Completely up to you if you want to delete it or not. Some of the guys may benefit from your sage advice however!
 
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