I finally made it to 100 days since I joined rebootnation in 2015

[zaraki888]

My journey

''There are two ways that people change their beliefs and then their actions: by pain or by insight. ''

What got me to 144 day no porn was insight, not pain. Insight I got thanks to all of you rebooters help and my accountable partner.

If I look back to 2015 I wish I had a time machine so I could give my younger self the knowledge I have gained.

There are so many great ways people write about how to beat this addiction. What gave me the biggest impact is knowledge I am sharing with you. It is a compact version giving insight. To cut to the chase I guess...

You can first if you like read my whole post before going to the links and read it yourself.


Step 1

A video from Gary Wilson the great porn experiment. There is a shorter 6 minute version on youtube which explains enough.

Great introduction to porn addiction.

Step 2

Read only Williams first post. No need to read the whole treat, just his first one.

Hello Gentlemen. Now we begin.

My bona fides: over one year no relapses, no porn, no PMO, no MO. Gabe asked me to post here. I previously posted on NoFap, which I loved, and where my post had over 19,000 reads, when I left it, having achieved one year clean. Hello Gentlemen. First, let's figure out if this post is for...

forum.rebootnation.org

After reading his post you will find out porn is everything that fires your dopamine related to porn addiction. It doesn't even have to be nudity. Watching the Olympics for instance. It can be anything. As long as you are using substitutes, you are basically using porn, keep your addiction alive and then have to deal with urges and cravings till relapse.

I would skip the suggesting link about the porn filter part. Although the smart phone part using an old phone temporarily is pretty good. But would you get tempted afterwards?

Step 3

Article from Stephen Waldo, the point of this article is to know about porn addiction symptoms

Porn Addiction Symptoms – How Porn Morphs Your Brain​

Porn Addiction Symptoms – How Porn Morphs Your Brain - Husband Help Haven

Did you know that erectile dysfunction is the most common reason that young men decide to stop looking at porn? And this isn't any normal ED we’re talking about either… ED from Internet porn addiction is completely untreatable. Learn other surprisingly common porn addiction symptoms here.

husbandhelphaven.com

In his post I would skip this part ''Recommended: The Possible Pitfalls of Porn @ The Art of Manliness'' Too long read and not needed as it is not explaining how to get rid of porn addiction

Now you got a better look at what porn addiction really is and how Delta Fos-B really works.

I would suggest to forget about Delta Fos-B because if you don't, you might think you need 8 weeks or even 16 weeks to get free from porn addiction. When you don't feel any change, Easypeasy explains uncertainty, doubt and fear creates pangs, creates withdrawal symptoms.
Counting days will be beneficial if it boost your confidence and keeping a clean streak but could also drag you down when you keep waiting for revelation to happen and therefore creates doubt and fear.

Step 4

His other article I find it useful to know the withdrawal symptoms, also my reason for adding in this treat

12-Week Porn Addiction Withdrawal Walk through​

12-Week Porn Addiction Withdrawal Walkthrough - Husband Help Haven

Knowing what to expect when you’re going through porn addiction withdrawal is crucial to fighting temptation. When you understand what your body is going to throw at you, it’s a lot easier to say, "This is normal and I just have to get through it."

husbandhelphaven.com

I did find it very helpful to guide myself each week knowing what to expect.

Step 5

Read the EasyPeasy book by Hackauthorš.

https://easypeasymethod.org/easypeasy.pdf

This is by far the best help that got me to 144 days. It is a must read! This books gives a ton of insights and understanding the root cause of addiction.

This books tells for instance it isn't the killing but the seek and search that fire our dopamine. This means even searching stuff can already fire up the dopamine. Even without seeing any nude content, the chase, the seek and search of novelty, maybe finding something new can already causes dopamine spikes.

Another example. It also explains how withdrawal symptoms actually feel. They don't feel painful but more like hunger or stress, an empty feeling wanting to do something. Which meant in my case whenever I need to eat food or have stress, I want to escape to porn as my body thinks I am getting aroused.

I suggest to download the book and then you can make highlights as this is what I recommend. The books contains too many incredible insights and explanations to remember and understand with just one read.


Step 6

Remove all porn blockers on any device for yourself

While you use Easypeasy which the book instructs to keep using porn while reading, if you use any porn blockers on your phone, laptop or computer, my advice for you is to remove all of them. Why? As you read in post from Williams, porn is everything that arouses you. Unless you block the whole internet and never look at women walking down the street, it doesn't work. Porn blockers only make cravings stronger, making porn a forbidden fruit!

This is what usually happens:

Huge cravings > trying to find a bypass (spend hours and hours) or use a substitute > succeed (ah shit!) and then to start the whole blocking again (honey or a friend, I need you to give me the password again).... This could be a huge waste of time and energy because it doesn't deal with the root cause of addiction.

I've tried years to block everything, even nudity content on youtube. I have reported so many video's but it was impossible. There is always something to find on the internet if I search long enough.

I want you to be strong enough you don't need blockers anymore and never have to be afraid wherever you go without blockers. You can do this by understanding the root cause of addiction and with Easypeasy help, soon you won't need blockers.


Step 7

How to respond to triggers and urges

''The no arousal method'' by bigbookofpenis part 1

Instead of fighting urges and cravings, this method prevents urges and cravings from happening in the first place. This is much easier to deal with porn addiction.

This is his treat

The "No Arousal" Method - Celibacy of Body AND Mind

EDIT - FOR NEWCOMERS> since this forum has grown into a very very long one (totally my fault writing too long posts) - reading through the whole...

yourbrainrebalanced.com

Basically this method means to learn to avoid everything that arouses you by looking away quick. No creepy stares anymore. No more turning your head when a pretty women walks by. No more looking at body parts, keep eyes at face level or do not look at all. As long as you react quick, there won't be any urges and cravings. There won't be a beast attack, the addictive voice in my experience. In real life or behind a computer or watching a movie, the rule applies to all.
Remember, you only got 0.5 to a maximum of 2 seconds to look away to make the method work in my experience. (I just added a time limit) After a while that time may increase.

I recommend to have a journal and write down all your cue's. This will be your list you use and reminds yourself staying away from any arousal that might lead to a PMO session.

''When you stop looking at porn and desexualize your environment, whatever the desire drops to, you're going to learn how to cope. ''

To read part 2 see below

ps. I have a bad habit of keep changing and editing my posts so I write here to remind myself I won't edit it anymore. This is my final version whether I make up my mind or not. A promise to myself, peace

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Awesome, man! I want you to continue writing the steps because it's interesting and helpful for me.

 

[Chrisaaa7]

''There are two ways that people change their beliefs and then their actions: by pain or by insight. ''

What got me to 100 days and beyond wasn't pain. It was insight. Insight I got thanks to all of you rebooters help and my accountable partner.

If I look back to 2015 I wish I had a time machine so I could give my younger self the knowledge I have gained so far.

There are so many great ways people write about how to beat this addiction. What helped me the most is what I am going to share. It is a compact version giving insight, to cut to the chase. Not included yet ways like how to deal with urges. You can first if you like read my whole post before going to the links and read it yourself.

Step 1

Watch Gary Wilson the great porn experiment. There is a shorter 6 minute version on youtube which explains enough.

Great introduction to porn addiction.

Step 2

Read Williams first post. No need to read the whole treat, just his first one.

Hello Gentlemen. Now we begin.

My bona fides: over one year no relapses, no porn, no PMO, no MO. Gabe asked me to post here. I previously posted on NoFap, which I loved, and where my post had over 19,000 reads, when I left it, having achieved one year clean. Hello Gentlemen. First, let's figure out if this post is for...

forum.rebootnation.org

After reading his post you will find out porn is everything that fires your dopamine related to porn addiction. It doesn't even have to be nudity. Watching the Olympics for instance. It can be anything. As long as you are using substitutes, you are basically using porn, keep the addiction alive, urges and cravings won't go away and you ask yourself why did I gave in again?

Step 3

Read Stephen Waldo

Porn Addiction Symptoms – How Porn Morphs Your Brain​

Porn Addiction Symptoms – How Porn Morphs Your Brain - Husband Help Haven

Did you know that erectile dysfunction is the most common reason that young men decide to stop looking at porn? And this isn't any normal ED we’re talking about either… ED from Internet porn addiction is completely untreatable. Learn other surprisingly common porn addiction symptoms here.

husbandhelphaven.com

In his post I would skip this part ''Recommended: The Possible Pitfalls of Porn @ The Art of Manliness'' Too long read and not needed as it is not explaining how to get rid of porn addiction

Now you got a better look at what porn addiction really is and how Delta Fos-B really works. Which is important to understand. Great simplified explanation by him.

Step 4

And then please read his other article

12-Week Porn Addiction Withdrawal Walk through​

12-Week Porn Addiction Withdrawal Walkthrough - Husband Help Haven

Knowing what to expect when you’re going through porn addiction withdrawal is crucial to fighting temptation. When you understand what your body is going to throw at you, it’s a lot easier to say, "This is normal and I just have to get through it."

husbandhelphaven.com

I quote him:
''Knowing what to expect when you’re going through porn addiction withdrawal is crucial to fighting temptation. When you understand what your body is going to throw at you, it’s a lot easier to say, “This is normal and I just have to get through it.”

I find it very helpful to guide myself each week knowing what to expect.

Step 5

Read the EasyPeasy book by Hackauthorš.

This is by far the best help that got me to 100 days. It is a must read! This books gives a ton of insights and understanding the root cause of addction.

This books tells for instance it isn't the killing but the seek and search that fire our dopamine. This means even searching stuff can already fire up the dopamine. Even without seeing any nude content, the chase, the seek and search of novelty, maybe finding something new can already causes dopamine spikes.

Another example. It also explains how withdrawal symptoms actually feel. They don't feel painful but more like hunger or stress, an empty feeling wanting to do something. Which meant in my case whenever I need to eat food or have stress, I want to escape to porn as my body thinks I am getting aroused.

Download or read the book here:

https://easypeasymethod.org/easypeasy.pdf

I suggest to download the book and then you can make highlights as this is what I recommend. The books contains too many incredible insights and explanations to remember and understand with just one read.

But be warned, the little porn monster doesn't want you to kill it so there is a chance you could procrastinate, not finish reading the book, skip chapters, get angry and pissed at the author or not even starting in the first place. Took me 6 months to finally read it for the first time and to be honest, I was angry and irritated by the author in the first few chapters and almost wanted to stop reading further.

Step 6

Remove all porn blockers on any device for yourself

While you are reading Easypeasy, if you use any porn blockers on your phone, laptop or computer, I want you to remove all of them. Why? As you read in post from Williams, porn is everything that arouses you. Unless you block the whole internet and never look at women walking down the street, it doesn't work. Porn blockers only make cravings stronger, making porn a forbidden fruit!
This is what usually happens:
Huge cravings > trying to find a bypass (spend hours and hours) or use a substitute > succeed (ah shit!) and then to start the whole blocking again (honey I need you to give me the password again).... This could be a huge waste of time and energy because it doesn't deal with the root cause of addiction.

I've tried years to block everything, even nudity content on youtube. I have reported so many video's but it was impossible. There is always something to find or an image that can be found in search engines.

I want you to be strong enough you don't need blockers anymore and never have to be afraid wherever you go without blockers. You can do this by understanding the root cause of addiction.


Step 7 (not finished yet)

It is a lot easier to prevent urges and cravings from happening than enduring them. How to respond to triggers and urges the right way.

I don’t have time to read the whole post right now but congrats bro! Amazing work and it’s really inspiring for us all.

 

[Filmguy30]

Love these steps man! So glad to see you succeed and give back to the threads. I’m definitely going to check out that e-book as I haven’t come across it yet. Also the idea that anything could be porn is new to me. Wild how I could be fighting porn for four years and just now come across resources that are invaluable to rebooters. Thank you!

 

[keyballa]

Congratulations bro!

 

[zaraki888]

Step 7 The no arousal method continues part 2


As Easypeasy book explained here:

''For up to three weeks after your last session you may be subjected to withdrawal pangs. These consist of two quite separate but distinct factors:

1. Dopamine withdrawal pangs. An empty, insecure feeling similar to hunger, identified as cravings or a ’something I must do’ feeling.
2. Psychological triggers of certain external stimulus such as commercials, online browsing, telephone conversations, etc.
Failure to understand and differentiate between these two distinct factors makes it difficult to achieve success using the willpower method, and is the reason why many who do fall into the trap again.''


As far as I understand and I may be wrong though the following:

The no arousal method deals with point 2 when we could get aroused by external stimulus. It does not deal with point 1 as point 1 suggest we already peeked at porn, did something which arouses us or we are within the 3 week period of withdrawal pangs.

After the 21 day period, withdrawal pangs can still occur whenever we suffer conditions like hunger or stress. Which these have nothing to do with getting triggered by sexual stimulus. As Easypeasy explained, the brain has mistakenly believe when we have hunger or stress, it thinks we are getting aroused!

How to deal with point 1 using the no arousal method?

What may causes feelings of withdrawal pangs besides porn are the following cue's I learned from all the steps and my own experience. I avoid all of them with solutions.

Hunger: I make sure I eat every 2 to 2.5 hours a meal, makes sense we get tired when body needs energy. After each meal I wait for 1 hour before using my brain energy. Instead I do something physical. I don't really know why but I do get tired after eating and tiredness causes me to lose control somehow.
Food: Some foods in Buddhist practice are avoided because suppose increases sexual energy. I can confirm spicy foods does make me horny and I can suffer wet dreams
Dehydration: I make sure I drink at least 1.5 liter everyday

Stress: I make sure I decrease daily decision making. Staying away from information overload (unnecessary social media). Limit my brain thinking energy to tasks and goals with a time schedule. Learn to plan and organize and divide tasks into smaller bite size portions.

Concentration: I make sure I do not use my brain energy for a long period of time or else I get tired and back to losing control.
Tiredness: I make sure I sleep 7 to 8 hours everyday. With bad sleep we get tired and then we more easily lose control

Loneliness: I work on myself to become a better person. When I work on myself I will be able to better attract what I really want. A vision of the future. I like to go to social events or spend time in nature.
Anger: I learn to control anger and remain calm

Wet dreams: using the no arousal method in my case stopped wet dreams
Boredom: working on my goals daily kills boredom.

Insomnia: If you suffer a period of insomnia as one of the withdrawal symptoms, for me it helps to increase the amount of time when I have my last dinner to fall asleep. I wait 5.5 hours before I lay down in bed. I only drink water in between, no snacks, nothing. When I do wake up at night and can't fall asleep, I just get up and wait another hour.

This all comes down to a very important life lesson when dealing with any addiction in my opinion.

Self Love

When we love ourselves, we don't harm our bodies with junk food or poison. Having self love means you take care of yourself. When I look at my life I can see I didn't care about. The moment I did I was finally able to free myself from porn addiction and things started to get better. Somehow while taking care of myself, I do not experience urges, cravings and no beast attacks.

Whether this is the way to do it I have no idea. It works for me so far.


Step 8 18 Principles of Recovery by Phineas 808

Phineas gives help with his experience how to deal with porn addiction in a quick easy to read list of principles that can be applied right away.

Here is his link

18 Principles of Recovery

In a couple of days, I'll be 140 days into my own recovery effort, without P, PMO, or MO. What tips can I offer others to help them be more sucessful in their journey? 18 Principles of Recovery 1. Make recovery your number one priority in life. Porn addiction, and its surrounding behaviors...

forum.rebootnation.org

I want to thank you for reading and I hope this information could help someone too. Take care


ps. I have a bad habit of keep changing and editing my posts so I write here to remind myself I won't edit it anymore. This is my final version whether I make up my mind or not. A promise to myself, peace

 

[zaraki888]

An extra part of my experience with reading Rational Recovery and my mistakes

I have changed the steps in the treat. After reading Rational Recovery, I mis-understood the instructions and I thought I had to feel the beast (the addictive voice) in order to learn to recognize it. Because I couldn't feel anything, I started with a thought and then went to have a peek. The book Rational Recovery is written for substance abuse but we porn addicts don't need substance. We can just think about it and it is like drinking alcohol.

I thought I was strong enough not to MO while peeking but I was wrong. When I made a second slip up, I decided to stop reading and not use AVRT anymore as I find it pretty complicated. I read the book halfway and perhaps I will finish reading someday because the book is still very interesting to read. Unfortunate it didn't worked for me so far. Maybe it will in the future.

My way of understanding is now that I believe the book Easypeasy is enough to kick this addiction out of our life. I made the mistake of having doubt in myself while I already kicked the addiction because I was still counting days. The part about deltafos-B made me uncertain about my accomplishment thinking I need more time. More time than 144 days?

Even though I didn't feel any different compared to day 1 and day 144. During my PMO session, I did however felt something different this time. I didn't enjoy porn. I did not get the feeling of ''OH SHITTTTT!" It didn't do anything to me actually. And there was no quick impulse either like I used to have. It was really boring like come on, is that all you got? I couln't believe I got hooked on this for so many years. That was the moment I realized I must have really killed the addiction!

AVRT vs the no arousal method

I was successfully porn free for 144 days using the no arousal method and Easypeasy. I only doubted the method adding to this treat as it is kinda strict and the method does not teach how to deal while having urges and cravings. In fact it teaches only to avoid them in the first place. I now know this is the easiest way to deal with porn addiction for me. I find it easier than learning about AVRT and recognizing who is talking. Also it puts the pressure away from having a powerful opponent inside my brain.

Besides the AV was persistend and in my case it kept sending me images and arousal feelings every 10 minutes while I was reading Rational Recover. Our brains have unfortunate a limit capacity of willpower and with every beast attack we resist, it is going to eat up willpower. I do wonder if this changes after learning the AVRT.

Reading Rational Recovery?

In my opinion, if you suffer porn addiction and a substance abuse like alcohol or drugs, I would absolutely recommend learning AVRT in combination with Easypeasy! The book really is that good. There could be another reason why Easypeasy might not be enough for you to beat porn addiction and this book deals with it in a smart way.

However, if you only suffer from Porn addiction then there is no need to read Rational Recovery as Easypeasy should get the job done.



Extra

If you also suffer from substance addiction like alcohol or drugs or if Easypeasy didn't worked for you

Then

Read the Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey

Instead searching for a hack, special technic or magic trick, the right approach I think is asking yourself, why? Why do I have urges and cravings at the moment? I am not even horny and got an image or feelng in my mind out of nowhere. Where do they come from? Are these really my own feelings and thoughts? If you want to stop your porn addiction but at the same time you crave it, isn't this contradicting?

The answer is AVRT! AVRT stands for Addictive Voice Recognition Technice. Written by Jack Trimpey

This is it! I really can't believe I have never heard of this book before. I find the book just as Easypeasy, amazing! Highly recommended, a must read.

You can if you would like click on the link Easypease and scroll down and read the last 3 pages. No need for me to explain the same thing as Hackauthor explanation is great!

In short there are two of you. The real you and the fake you. The fake you is the animal part of your brain and ''it'' wants pleasure all the time. Cravings and urges comes from this animal part of your brain and it pretends to be you. It can use images, feelings and language to lure you into thinking you want it and having another peek but it cannot move your body on it's own. When you learn to recognize ''it'' the beast, suddenly it loses power over you and thus cravings and urges stops because you recognize it as not you.

ps. I have a bad habit of keep changing and editing my posts so I write here to remind myself I won't edit it anymore. This is my final version whether I make up my mind or not. A promise to myself, peace

 

[zaraki888]

This sounds exaggerated and pointless

Have you really discussed your situation with a psychologist?

I think this is very wrong. I recommend help.

Hello H&M,

Thank you for your post. I can understand why this sounds exaggerated and pointless to you because I was thinking the same like you back in 2015.

There are addicts like me who are a quite sever case. The battle is not only behind a computer screen but can also be in real life, IF you find yourself getting triggered. Have you read the post from Williams? Porn is everything that arouses a person. It can be anything not even related to watching clips. Watching women in real life can be a substitute for porn as well.

Thank you for your advice but I am already free and a non user, thanks to all the steps I did

Without the intention of offending your publication, but what you write here is too much speculation.

There is no point in living a life without looking for someone to have a sexual relationship with. Unless you want to be a monk.

My question to you is the following:

Do you want to become a non-sexual anchorite or eunuch monk forever?

Easypeasy explained this with hunger, depression and stress and I confirmed this with my own experience. Even under Easypeasy, the frustration of readers dealing with urges and cravings is still present. I have just added my own successful experience to hopefully help others to succeed better with urges and cravings as well.

I didn't wrote me being asexual. Of course I want to have a girlfriend in the future. It is a step by step guide how porn addicts can free themselves. When someone is free from porn addiction, the no arousal method can be put aside, not needed anymore.

However I will continue use it as I don't want to be a creep looking at women in an inappropriate way and I want to stay on guard.

 

[zaraki888]

Well, but I don't agree with you at all.

The truth is that I came here to RN to leave only the pornography. I am 40 years old and I do not consider myself a serious addict. It's just that I'm already at an age where I consider porn very unnecessary.

Unlike you, I love seeing women on the street because that's the best thing in the world, even seeing women in real life stays away from porn in my case. That is the reason why I do not agree with your ideas at all.
Good luck.

Hello H&M,

May I share with you the following. There is a difference I learned in looking at a women and find her hot or beautiful. The difference is lust or real love and only one of them creates withdrawal pangs, urges and cravings. While the other not. Perhaps you look at them without lust.
I have relapsed many times because of this looking at women with lust on the street while I abstained from porn.
Once you starve yourself from porn completely, there is a chance you are going to look at other things just to get that dopamine flush. Because porn is addiction, not a habit. It keeps the addiction pathway deltafos B alive in the brain. If you don't find this to be a problem and you can abstain from porn, then this step ''the no arousal method'' isn't needed for you, which is a good thing!

There is a Joe Rogan pod cast talking about the subject hot or beautiful.

However I wouldn't underestimate porn addiction as the little porn monster doesn't care where it fix comes from. You can either suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret.

 

[Tryinghere]

im glad you two are talking. Conversation is the way we learn. I’ve got to say, for me personally I want to be attracted to real women and especially my wife. I never thought porn was a problem until my dick broke. My end goal is to achieve normal, healthy sexual function and desire. I’m also 40 like H&M. I also agree with most of what he’s saying…..for most people.
@zakari888, that said. You have clearly found something that works for you. I’m not going to yuck your yum. 144 days! Amazing. Keep doing what you’re doing. May I ask, what is your end goal? Would you like to enter into a romantic relationship at some point or are you content avoiding sexual energy in your life?

 

[zaraki888]

im glad you two are talking. Conversation is the way we learn. I’ve got to say, for me personally I want to be attracted to real women and especially my wife. I never thought porn was a problem until my dick broke. My end goal is to achieve normal, healthy sexual function and desire. I’m also 40 like H&M. I also agree with most of what he’s saying…..for most people.
@zakari888, that said. You have clearly found something that works for you. I’m not going to yuck your yum. 144 days! Amazing. Keep doing what you’re doing. May I ask, what is your end goal? Would you like to enter into a romantic relationship at some point or are you content avoiding sexual energy in your life?

Hello Tryinghere,

Thank you for your message. My apologize for my late respond.

I think attraction to women is a good thing, not a bad thing. I meant we can find a women beautiful without the need to fantasize sexual about her like looking at her body parts, stare, get an erection and get that dopamine spike and pre-cum. Looking at women like that during reboot I am pretty sure was messing up my rewiring process in the brain and kept the addiction alive. I have no experience with porn addiction while in a romantic relationship. Your goal sounds pretty nice to me!

Thank you! Yes 144 days was something I would never thought about to achieve. It looks like it was more than enough to kick the addiction out of my life.

Yes I would like to enter into a meaningful romantic relationship with a women with real love and compassion. First I want to work on myself, to improve myself as it took me all my time and energy to defeat porn addiction. I am content with having no sexual need nor desire at the moment.
It is a blissful feeling to feel peace within and also happy being alone. Not needing to have a girlfriend or an orgasm. No fantasies or wet dreams. Just happy, thankful, content for what I already have.