The Porn Takeoff
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Takeoff
Member
Had some cravings and flashbacks this morning, got better after a cold shower. Day 5
Edit 2 hours later:
So even after getting through the cravings I had in the morning, today there was P exposure, there was a slow buildup to it - I first saw something really triggering on a social app - then there was a slow progression until the 'automatic mode' kicked in and I was looking at the usual stuff. However, in the end I didn't PMO, I managed to realize what I was doing and closed the shit. I could feel how my brain was being flooded more and more during every second of the exposure, it reminded me how much of a supernormal stimuli this is... Afterwards I got the usual after-effects, being cold, shaking, slight derealization. I took a dose of NAC and it got better within ~15 minutes.
I'm really glad I didn't give in fully because it was the kind of situation in which I have given in multiple times before.
Also, it is worth noting that during the beginning of last year's streaks there also were similar incidents, yet I managed to power through it.
And I will do so once more, whatever it takes.
Edit 2 hours later:
So even after getting through the cravings I had in the morning, today there was P exposure, there was a slow buildup to it - I first saw something really triggering on a social app - then there was a slow progression until the 'automatic mode' kicked in and I was looking at the usual stuff. However, in the end I didn't PMO, I managed to realize what I was doing and closed the shit. I could feel how my brain was being flooded more and more during every second of the exposure, it reminded me how much of a supernormal stimuli this is... Afterwards I got the usual after-effects, being cold, shaking, slight derealization. I took a dose of NAC and it got better within ~15 minutes.
I'm really glad I didn't give in fully because it was the kind of situation in which I have given in multiple times before.
Also, it is worth noting that during the beginning of last year's streaks there also were similar incidents, yet I managed to power through it.
And I will do so once more, whatever it takes.
Last edited:
Takeoff
Member
Day 7
So this morning there was morning wood. But also I had an exceptionally disturbing pornographical dream. Worst thing is, after waking up from such dreams my mind is in such a state as if I actually watched P and got triggered.
But I got through it.
Also, I wanted to mention it here - for quite some time I've wanted to go to the gym, but it's hard because my general anxiety levels are quite high and I have additional gym anxiety. Despite this, I've been exercising at home and managed to gain a couple of kilogrammes which is good.
So this morning there was morning wood. But also I had an exceptionally disturbing pornographical dream. Worst thing is, after waking up from such dreams my mind is in such a state as if I actually watched P and got triggered.
But I got through it.
Also, I wanted to mention it here - for quite some time I've wanted to go to the gym, but it's hard because my general anxiety levels are quite high and I have additional gym anxiety. Despite this, I've been exercising at home and managed to gain a couple of kilogrammes which is good.
How did it go?
Takeoff
Member
Unfortunately it didn't go as planned, but that's okay. I made it through the day quite easily even though I was very stressed at some point. Not only because of what was happening, but also because as I said, I didn't get a good night's sleep, thus I'm really happy about making it through so smoothly. Day 10 ahead!
Takeoff
Member
So yesterday I did manage to go to sleep sooner, but the morning started with me waking up in the autopilot mode and there was a bit of a slip...
It's a rough day. But I gotta keep going. It was probably because of a trigger I've seen the day before. I've noticed they sometimes cause cravings that have a delayed onset. Time to get off social media because that's where I encounter the triggers.
Day 12
It's a rough day. But I gotta keep going. It was probably because of a trigger I've seen the day before. I've noticed they sometimes cause cravings that have a delayed onset. Time to get off social media because that's where I encounter the triggers.
Day 12
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