Just signed up the other day after reading some great posts and stories. I've been fighting this addiction for the past 10 years, slowly getting better each year, but the fetishes would get slightly more extreme and i could never seem to kick it. I can last about 7 days or so with out watching anything, but then i would start edging which lead to me having to start all over again.
I am quite certain it was the key factor in losing my former partner. The time has come to say no more, I have had enough. I have set up blockers which are working very well, my mind is starting to finally understand this is not an easy dopamine release option anymore. My mental focus is resolute this time. A great quote which has helped me along the way (not sure where i read it) "cravings is addiction leaving the body"
What has helped you along the way to forget this filth?
Welcome. You've probably heard this before but admitting we have a porn addiction and looking for help are the first steps in winning this.
Our stories present similarities: Trying for the past 10 years, struggling around 7 days. I know how this goes. The problem is simple at the core, but our mind likes to make it more complicated. We are not addicted to porn per se, we have a dopamine addiction, porn is only the way we release this dopamine. If porn didn't release dopamine, we wouldn't watch it. We need to understand this: Our problem is the dopamine released by porn. Then the solution becomes clear: We must avoid giving ourselves a dopamine hit by porn. But porn is not only actually porn videos. Porn is both visual and in the brain (in our memory). Porn is actually anything that gives us a dopamine hit: Hardcore, softcore, scenes from movies and tv shows, social media pictures, social media videos, imagining porn, thinking about porn, replaying porn flashbacks in our memory, playing fantasies in our head created using porn etc. You get the idea. We need to avoid all this. If when it comes to watching something it's straight forward: we avoid watching/looking at anything, when it comes to porn stored in our head it's trickier. Porn will pop up in our head to remind us that it's time to go watch. But we must not pay attention to it, we must not engage with this porn that comes in our mind. Dismissing it, ignoring it, focusing on something else, as soon as possible, in the first second even, is the key. Porn addiction can be starved to death by not feeding it dopamine, but it can't be starved to death if we feed it even a little. Of course relapses happen, but we must make an effort to stop relapsing. After years of relapses, it's enough. This could easily turn into a "relapse/restart" treadmill for life. We could relapse ourselves into an oblivion. So now it's the time. Stop to relapsing. Avoid porn at all cost and it will get better. It will probably be hard or very hard for a while mentally-wise, with the urges, craving and other psychological manifestastions but rebooting is real, it works and those things fade away, it's known, others who have quit porn are the proof that everything gets better, we just need to be patient. We should not think too much about the past failures, about how long it's been since we've been fighting this or how long the next period of withdrawal will be, all we have is the present. The mind can't tolerate many days of discomfort but it can tolerate "the now". Break everything to the minimum, to second by second. We'll do this.