Do you ever stop seeing women as lust objects after successful reboot?

BigDog43

Member
Going on 7 months nofap after 25 years addicted. I'm hoping this lopsided ratio means i just need more rebooting, but practically ever woman I see I'm checking and fighting back triggers. Even women that before I would not have found remotely attractive or given a second glance too. I realize this was because I was constantly bombarding my brain with the hottest women on the planet doing whatever I wanted them to do, but I really want to make this go away? I try to just look away anytime this happens to train my brain. Even when I see my wife getting undressed i just stop and stare and have to smack myself to look away. Any tips or tricks or encouragement that this is just a phase?
 

Chrisaaa7

Member
Going on 7 months nofap after 25 years addicted. I'm hoping this lopsided ratio means i just need more rebooting, but practically ever woman I see I'm checking and fighting back triggers. Even women that before I would not have found remotely attractive or given a second glance too. I realize this was because I was constantly bombarding my brain with the hottest women on the planet doing whatever I wanted them to do, but I really want to make this go away? I try to just look away anytime this happens to train my brain. Even when I see my wife getting undressed i just stop and stare and have to smack myself to look away. Any tips or tricks or encouragement that this is just a phase?
Yes you eventually will, it takes time, it might even get worse before it gets better but after a while you see the true beauty in people
 
Going on 7 months nofap after 25 years addicted. I'm hoping this lopsided ratio means i just need more rebooting, but practically ever woman I see I'm checking and fighting back triggers. Even women that before I would not have found remotely attractive or given a second glance too. I realize this was because I was constantly bombarding my brain with the hottest women on the planet doing whatever I wanted them to do, but I really want to make this go away? I try to just look away anytime this happens to train my brain. Even when I see my wife getting undressed i just stop and stare and have to smack myself to look away. Any tips or tricks or encouragement that this is just a phase?
There will be periods of extreme sexual energy and sheer flatlining. This should all pass in time! Just keep going strong.

Educate yourself on how to show respect to woman and avoid the idea that people are objects. Everyone one is a person living their lives in this world, not an instrument of pleasure.

For me I don’t see issue with checking your wife out. I don’t know the details of your marriage but put that sexual energy and attention towards her.

I've been dealing with flatlining issues myself during my reboot. Trust me your partner wants your time.
 
This happened for me as well BigDog43. It varies from person to person, but for me it took what felt like a very long time for that to calm down (I can't remember exactly how long but I'd guess about 1 year). I was having really bizarre things happen while my mind was resetting which was very distressing at times. It was my mind trying to cling on to porn as a way of coping with stress. My own healing journey has also included a lot of work on ending my objectification of women which I now feel in a very good place with - it's shocking how much stress we experience from society training us to objectify people. You're certainly not alone and, in my experience, it is just a phase.

You may find one or two of the methods below helpful:

- walks in nature: connecting to trees can help cleanse and balance our minds.
- conscious relaxation: you'll probably find some parts of your body are tensing when you feel triggered like this. Taking some time to consciously relax those parts can help your body and mind rebalance.
- counselling/coaching: talking to someone about these problems can help a lot to feel understood and to let go of these feelings and work on any underlying causes for these difficulties.
- meditation: especially loving-kindness meditation directed toward the parts of yourself that are suffering.
- therapeutic massage: can help your body process the difficult stuck feelings you're experiencing.

I hope that's helpful and keep up the good work. 7 months nofap after 25 years as an addict is a great achievement!
 

BigDog43

Member
There will be periods of extreme sexual energy and sheer flatlining. This should all pass in time! Just keep going strong.

Educate yourself on how to show respect to woman and avoid the idea that people are objects. Everyone one is a person living their lives in this world, not an instrument of pleasure.

For me I don’t see issue with checking your wife out. I don’t know the details of your marriage but put that sexual energy and attention towards her.

I've been dealing with flatlining issues myself during my reboot. Trust me your partner wants your time.
I agree about checking out my wife, I just need to channel that energy properly. Instead of ogling I need to show her affection in a more constructive way.
 

BigDog43

Member
This happened for me as well BigDog43. It varies from person to person, but for me it took what felt like a very long time for that to calm down (I can't remember exactly how long but I'd guess about 1 year). I was having really bizarre things happen while my mind was resetting which was very distressing at times. It was my mind trying to cling on to porn as a way of coping with stress. My own healing journey has also included a lot of work on ending my objectification of women which I now feel in a very good place with - it's shocking how much stress we experience from society training us to objectify people. You're certainly not alone and, in my experience, it is just a phase.

You may find one or two of the methods below helpful:

- walks in nature: connecting to trees can help cleanse and balance our minds.
- conscious relaxation: you'll probably find some parts of your body are tensing when you feel triggered like this. Taking some time to consciously relax those parts can help your body and mind rebalance.
- counselling/coaching: talking to someone about these problems can help a lot to feel understood and to let go of these feelings and work on any underlying causes for these difficulties.
- meditation: especially loving-kindness meditation directed toward the parts of yourself that are suffering.
- therapeutic massage: can help your body process the difficult stuck feelings you're experiencing.

I hope that's helpful and keep up the good work. 7 months nofap after 25 years as an addict is a great achievement!
Great response, thank you. Conscious relaxation sounds a little bit like meditation, which I have really been meaning to add to my toolbox.
 
Great response, thank you. Conscious relaxation sounds a little bit like meditation, which I have really been meaning to add to my toolbox.

Thanks @BigDog43 I'm glad it resonated with you and it is similar to meditation, that's a good point. I've found body-focused meditation/relaxation to be a huge help on my own journey and I hope it will be on yours too.
 

Carl_Smith

Member
I kind of know what you mean, average girls just look really hot, because my dopamine sensitivity is back to normal. BUT, now I can also look them in the eye and actually have a non-creepy smile and intelligent conversation, because my hypofrontality is gone.

Some call this "every man's battle" that men have been fighting for 1000s of years :)
 

BigDog43

Member
I kind of know what you mean, average girls just look really hot, because my dopamine sensitivity is back to normal. BUT, now I can also look them in the eye and actually have a non-creepy smile and intelligent conversation, because my hypofrontality is gone.

Some call this "every man's battle" that men have been fighting for 1000s of years :)
I guess that's what keep the species going all these years!
 

Fappy

Respected Member
You definitely will, and you’ll realize just what a douchebag you were when you only saw them for their 3 holes.
 

Carl_Smith

Member
"The key to defeating lust is not to avoid looking at women; it’s to actually see them.”

this is kind of blowing my mind right now. it's from a book I might buy. Honestly this is still my biggest battle.
 
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