Dude Reboot

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 15 - successful sex with gf, no ED meds, and finished in under 10 minutes!!

We were sitting on the couch, watching Arcane on Netflix during her lunch break, and I just felt so drawn to her that we started making out and just...went for it. Everything worked fine down there for me...it felt so natural! And I had a nap after she left .

Hopefully that's this flatline finished...it might have been so short because I've already been mostly off P for quite a while.

My libido went dead for a few days but I noticed earlier today I was getting somewhat excited by walking around in the city, with all the women in skimpy clothing now that the weather is warmer.

Photoshoot went well yesterday, but I was very tired after my night out.

I rewarded myself for the productive week by getting popcorn chicken and donut fries delivered. Then I went to sleep fairly early. I felt very refreshed when I woke up!

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 16 - seem to be feeling emotions more intensely.

Motivation to do things has remained high but I'm feeling a little frustrated that there is always so much to do and I would just like to take it easy for a couple of days.

My shower head broke yesterday so I went to the hardware store to replace it this morning.

Overall feeling strong!

Keep going

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 17 - I get my braces fitted today.

It's a rest day from the gym, so I have a bit of extra time today. I want to use it to tidy my room and set up my new bed and desk.

I designed my diet for the next 6 days to be chicken sandwiches. I have all the ingredients and the chicken already cooked, but I'm not sure when I'll be able to chew again after I get braces. Might have to design a new diet... probably a stew or a soup.

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 18 - shorter refractory period.

Had sex with my gf yesterday and had no trouble. I started to go a bit soft towards the end but it was about like it was most of my 20s, except I finished fairly quick. Then about half an hour later I felt like going again. I was only medium hard, but it still felt good and I still finished. This is good progress. She seemed to like me being so keen!

I got the braces on and my teeth kind of hurt now. The orthodontics are not too visible, which is nice. And I can still chew to some degree, but food gets stuck in the braces and they're much harder to clean.

I've had a big chunk of time to set my bedroom up. Yesterday I spent a few hours going through my drawers and throwing out anything I don't want or need. It's a nice feeling.

My new bed is still waiting to be set up. I'll do that today.

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 19 - I might have set my reboot back a bit yesterday.

I was going through an old hard drive looking for some MP3s I used to listen to and saw some P*** images I saved on there years ago. They got me all excited and I spent a few minutes transfixed. I shook myself out of it before O, but later I felt like the natural drive that had been returning was less intense. I just need to get back on the path and keep going. It's just a minor setback. I should be back where I was in another few days.

 

[guiganvoger]

Glad you worked past the temptation to PMO to your saved images. It really is a big testament to your commitment.

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 20 - escape room with GF

Thanks for the encouragement, Guiganvoger. Yep, I'm back on track now.

Last night I did an escape room with my GF and it was really fun! The hypothetical situation was that we had to cancel a missile launch. We were solving all these interesting puzzles together (actually mostly me solving the puzzles and her saying how smart I was and being scared - so cute) and she was adorable the way she engaged fully with the task.

There was a dark hallway with lasers we had to walk down and she got really nervous and wanted to stick close.

Afterwards we went home and tried to watch Bad Santa but she fell asleep on my lap. Overall, it was a fun evening and I felt really connected to her.

When we had sex, I was able to get hard and stay mostly hard, and finish. Looks like I didn't do much damage the previous day, thankfully.

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 21 - 3 weeks!

Had a REALLY lazy day today. Basically all I did was binge watch season 1 of Orville and get food delivered. I needed a day of laziness because I've been working hard lately.

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Lovemaking is becoming more passionate! Today I felt very connected to my partner and got lost in the moment.

ED wasn't even a concern...it started to happen slightly but neither of us worried about it and it went away.

And it felt so spontaneous too, instead of boring and pressured like it used to feel for me. She came over to help me finish assembling my new bed, and when it was done, we shared a celebratory kiss and...just got lost in the moment. It was magical OMG .

THIS IS REALLY WORKING!! AHHHH!

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 23 - I missed a day posting, so today is day 23.

Spent most of the day drinking and socialising with a bunch of women...it was really fun being around that feminine energy. I was the only guy in the group so there was a lot of attention on me and I felt surprisingly calm! Normally I would have been a bit nervous or anxious but I felt like I had it under control.

Had I been in a similar situation a few weeks ago, and definitely before I started this quitting journey 2 years ago, I would have been much less able to express myself.

I felt solid and masculine. It was interesting to observe myself in that situation. I'm loving what this new, stricter reboot is doing to me.

I even spoke to a couple of women I would consider intimidatingly beautiful, and they were both completely warm and welcoming, and I felt at ease around them. Really encouraging for a guy who has had social anxiety most of his adult life, especially around women!

They were a really sex positive bunch, talking about sex a fair bit, so I even opened up about my struggles with ED and they were super supportive and thought it was awesome I was doing something about it. They said they witness baffling erection issues with men all the time and it was nice to hear a man's perspective that confirms it's NOT because they're unattractive or not kinky enough. I think it was reassuring for them to hear there are other, more likely causes.

Onward and upward with the reboot!

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 24 - Did all my Christmas shopping today. Spreading some holiday cheer around.

I've been procrastinating on working out, and kind of sloppy on my diet. But it's the festive season, and I don't really want to be the guy saying no to all the yummy food.

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 25 - still having success. Watching the desire return. My sexual fantasies are becoming more and more first person and proactive, rather than voyeuristic memories of P*** scenarios.

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 26 - just realised it's almost been a month.

Had sex today and although I was really keen, feeling frisky all morning, I struggled during the act. It's so weird and I'm sick of it. The thing just wouldn't get hard . What is wrong??

I am feeling the urge to listen to the YBOP audiobook again. I often listen to it while I sleep, because Noah has such a deep, calm voice that it puts me to sleep. But I am usually asleep within 10 minutes when I put it on, so I don't get to hear much .

Maybe I will listen for a while today.

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 27 - motivation lag

I've also been having a big slump in motivation lately. Not sure why. A few weeks ago I was shredding, and now I don't even want to do the dishes.

I have been studying 2 books about procrastination for the last several months to try and figure this out.

The first is called Procrastination: Why You Do It, What To Do About It Now. The second is called The Now Habit. Both are great books.

There is a lot of overlap in the information they give, but the writing style is very different.

Anyway, I've been studying these books in an effort to learn how to become an organised, tidy, punctual, motivated person.

I want to manage my time better. I want my house to be tidy, clean, and free of clutter. I want to arrive a little early to appointments. I want to stick to a schedule. I want to be able to implement and track habits I choose. I want to be able to work consistently on projects that are important to me in the long run. I want to manage my finances better and do my tax return on time.

My life would be so much better if I could just knock over this one domino.

 

[Phineas 808]

I have been studying 2 books about procrastination for the last several months to try and figure this out.

Hi, Dude.

Procrastination as a sepearate issue could be a bad habit one has, but in our case it may be a matter of the dopamine receptors healing. Dopamine gives you the desire to get something done, like an anticapatory urge, that if you do X, you'll be satisfied. In the former behaviors, the dopamine receptors have been fried to a degree, more or less.

As these heal, you'll find more desire to get things done.

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Procrastination as a separate issue could be a bad habit, but in our case it may be a matter of the dopamine receptors healing...the dopamine receptors have been fried. As these heal, you'll find more desire to get things done.

I have suspected this for quite a while, as I keep reading about it in Your Brain On Porn.

I really hope this is the case! I've noticed this occurring a little bit, as I take pleasure in small things, notice things I was oblivious to before, and motivation has been returning.

But this week I had a sudden drop in motivation that I couldn't explain. It's returning now though.

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 29 - Last night I went for dinner and drinks with my girlfriend. We had an awesome time. When we had sex afterwards at home, I did have some ED, but we were very connected and in the moment. I was able to finish.

I've noticed that I can at least finish most of the time now, even though my erections are often sluggish. That's better than where I was a month ago, when I could barely get any movement out of my penis during sex. I need to focus on this progress and be thankful that change is happening.

I need to stay on the path in order to keep improving.

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 30 - 33% of reboot done.

I'm in a weird grey zone where I'm not sure if I'm improving or not. I guess I am.

I'm still frustrated by my lack of organisation. I need to come up with a strategy to attempt to handle this, because it's messing with my motivation to do anything productive. I feel like there's no point doing anything unless I have a system to help me do it consistently over time.

 

[Dudewithaproblem]

Day 31 - I'm back training again.

Last week I missed most of my strength workouts. This week I'm back on track with it. Still eating a little sloppy because it's CRISMIMS

Lunch with gf at the best Thai restaurant in town. We had delicious cocktails - mine was strawberry and cream flavoured and called a Sugar Daddy lol.

I watched the Pixar movie, Soul, with my housemate and she loved it. We had a deep chat about my dad and her family and how her bf thinks I'm cool as hell (she's 19 and he's 24, so they are quite a bit younger than me). It was emotive, funny, and endearing and I think we understand eachother better now.

 

[Jswizzle]

Day 30 - 33% of reboot done.

I'm in a weird grey zone where I'm not sure if I'm improving or not. I guess I am.

I'm still frustrated by my lack of organisation. I need to come up with a strategy to attempt to handle this, because it's messing with my motivation to do anything productive. I feel like there's no point doing anything unless I have a system to help me do it consistently over time.

Dudewithaproblem,

Way to go for day 30! Awesome!