Red Moon, PIEDPiperThrowaway,
Thank you for sharing your struggles and story.
I have made it 1194 days without porn (roughly 3.25 years). Before this time I had progressively worsening libido, difficulty arousing, maintaining arousal, lesser firmness, increased struggles during PMO to the point that about a year and a half I M'ed limp...I think that last year and a half was particularly devastating (also, my ejaculations went from powerful squirts to dribbles and the amount reduced to mere thimblefuls). I finally got to the point where I knew P had to be a problem and the urologists I had gone to who claimed P was healthy or it was "all in my head" were wrong. The first 90 days felt like I was moving forward...but, then afterward I couldn't make it more than about three weeks at a time without masturbating, despite a very poor response. After that it seemed like I was making a tiny bit of progress though... about 180 days in until a year and a half in I was getting somewhat consistent and more powerful morningwood. Then, it seemed to slow down. I went out of my comfort zone anyway around that time to start dating a few people and eventually found a very compatible woman. She has been a great light and support in this time and I explained my struggles with PIED. I even managed to have sex with her about a year ago. Since then, I wanted to try a new method for a year: no PMO, but allow myself to fully indulge as able with my partner. Overall, I think there has been some improvement, but I only once achieved what i would consider a 90% erection and most of the time it is about 75-85% hard. I worry that I have been reinforcing this incomplete erection through continued intercourse. Also, I have had sex more than twice a night a few times, so that is some improvement. However, for the past year now I have essentially had no morningwood, and as I discussed I still have incomplete erections. No matter what it requires constant stimulation to maintain an erection. She tells me she is very satisfied with the sex, but I know it would feel so much better to have a full erection and the full sensation that comes with that. I think at the turn of this new year I will tell her that I need to take time off orgasming...
Good luck with your struggles.
Relentless