Can anyone give me some advice on beating Performance Anxiety?

keyballa

Member
I’m a former porn addict and had successful sex many times but every now and then I don’t know why but I still have performance anxiety which keeps me from keeping a full erection.
 

Stiffy999

Active Member
I’m a former porn addict and had successful sex many times but every now and then I don’t know why but I still have performance anxiety which keeps me from keeping a full erection.
I had the exact same problem.What are the exact thoughts that make you go limp ? Is it only worrying if she will like your performance or something else ?
 

keyballa

Member
I had the exact same problem.What are the exact thoughts that make you go limp ? Is it only worrying if she will like your performance or something else ?
Yes and just other thoughts like trying to stay focus on being hard and mainly still having that thought in the back of my head to not go limp again :(. Which is what happens after a while. Happened like 3 times this past month. Now I’m getting worried smh. Then what’s worst is when I feel like I’m going soft again I try to think of past sexual porn scenes that could keep me up. It’s worked in the past before but now that doesn’t work anymore. This sucks man. Earlier this year when I stayed off porn I was fine. Like having sex every other day no issues. But I did relapse and went on a porn binge a few months back. I’m thinking that’s what started my issue.
 

Chrisaaa7

Member
I’m a former porn addict and had successful sex many times but every now and then I don’t know why but I still have performance anxiety which keeps me from keeping a full erection.
The most important thing is being with someone you’re comfortable with and understands your situation, this will take massive pressure off you and take some nerves away
 

Stiffy999

Active Member
Yes and just other thoughts like trying to stay focus on being hard and mainly still having that thought in the back of my head to not go limp again :(. Which is what happens after a while. Happened like 3 times this past month. Now I’m getting worried smh. Then what’s worst is when I feel like I’m going soft again I try to think of past sexual porn scenes that could keep me up.
Every word I quoted up here was exactly the same in my situation.That's because your brain is tought by porn that only you and your pleasure is important.Also society makes you feel like more of a man if you "fuck" for hours...Those diabolical things are what makes many people anxious and anxiety destroys your arousal center.What you need to do is stop being obsessed with yourself and your dick, understand that you are not important at all.Sex is much more than putting your hard dick inside a woman's vagina.You can have sex with limp dick,it doesn't have to be hard at all and still you can make your girl the happiest woman on the planet.When you accept these things and change your focus from yourself to your gf your situation will get milion times better
 

keyballa

Member
The most important thing is being with someone you’re comfortable with and understands your situation, this will take massive pressure off you and take some nerves away
Yea she understands. But this has been goin on and off for 4 years now. I mean it’s only so much that she can take. She sometimes feel it’s her that’s the problem even tho I tell her hundreds of times it’s not her and the problem is me and my brain. I tell her it’s not ED but more of a pyscholgical thing in my brain. Before it would be flatline but I think now it’s more performance anxiety. I been thru this before and I was able to beat it but man I don’t know why I keep going thru this every couple months. It sucks man smh
 

keyballa

Member
Every word I quoted up here was exactly the same in my situation.That's because your brain is tought by porn that only you and your pleasure is important.Also society makes you feel like more of a man if you "fuck" for hours...Those diabolical things are what makes many people anxious and anxiety destroys your arousal center.What you need to do is stop being obsessed with yourself and your dick, understand that you are not important at all.Sex is much more than putting your hard dick inside a woman's vagina.You can have sex with limp dick,it doesn't have to be hard at all and still you can make your girl the happiest woman on the planet.When you accept these things and change your focus from yourself to your gf your situation will get milion times better
Wow your right. Porn has messed me up and I always felt like I had to last long in order to perform well for her. Thanks for response. You make me see a new perspective on intimacy. It will take me a few days to get this anxiety out my head
 

Stiffy999

Active Member
Wow your right. Porn has messed me up and I always felt like I had to last long in order to perform well for her. Thanks for response. You make me see a new perspective on intimacy. It will take me a few days to get this anxiety out my head
At least now you are aware of anxiety source.Remember that penetration sex is just a small piece of possibilities that sex offers,you can do many many other awesome things that will rock your gf's world.Also it isn't about how long you last or how big you are, it's about connection between two people that makes it awesome.Try exploring many other sex variants that don't involve erection and indulge in pleasure you give to your gf,she will love it,I'm sure of it,and your anxiety will soon be over just don't think about it or anything related to yourself when you are engaged in sexual activity.
 

keyballa

Member
At least now you are aware of anxiety source.Remember that penetration sex is just a small piece of possibilities that sex offers,you can do many many other awesome things that will rock your gf's world.Also it isn't about how long you last or how big you are, it's about connection between two people that makes it awesome.Try exploring many other sex variants that don't involve erection and indulge in pleasure you give to your gf,she will love it,I'm sure of it,and your anxiety will soon be over just don't think about it or anything related to yourself when you are engaged in sexual activity.
Thank you bro. I appreciate the response bro. I will definitely give that a try
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Did this get any better for you? I’m about 3 months in and although I HAVE gotten and maintained an erection long enough for sex, and I have failed to do so more often then not. Im worried it’s a performance anxiety thing at this point and not pied at all anymore. What did you do to get past it?
 
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