Up and down ED

otanerferguson

Active Member
Thanks so much for the advice. I really like the idea of trying what you and your wife did. As luck would have it, my wife is a yoga teacher. I try going to a class once a week but it doesn't always work like that. Even so I can, and do try to watch her move often. Thanks man. I appreciate it. So many people talk about cuddling and kissing and making out....work out....blah blah blah. And that's all fine and good advice. But rarely do you get any solid advice for what to do in the moment with your spouse after months of disappointment.
My pleasure man. Do try to look into her eyes while you are doing that so that your focus is not on your penis but on her reactions and run your hands up and down her body going back and forth between her breasts, her back and neck, and the back of her arms. Once she's in a groove essentially masturbating with your penis (which would be pointing in the direction of your belly button), grab her butt and help her move back and forth. That shift in focus makes you rewire to her body. You have to force it a bit at first and fake that love gaze, until it starts to become real with the sessions. She, in turn, loves to feel appreciated and you feed off of her reactions. That is powerful because you no longer have to fantasize about porn to stay aroused. In fact you yourself don't need to be aroused, just look aroused (although you will get there more and more with each session). And since the erection, penetration and your orgasm are off the table, you don't get anxious or at least as anxious.

Power to you!
 
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Tryinghere

Active Member
Awesome. I’ll keep y’all posted. She’s taking me out for my birthday tomorrow so I hope to spend some time with her away from the kids and what-not. I doubt we’ll get into anything more than conversation though. We’ll see what happens when we get home. Y’all are awesome. Thanks for the help
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Last night as we were going to sleep she rolled over and kissed me. Quipped “want to sexually touch me without expectation of penetration?” Lol. “Um. Fuck yeah i do”. I touched her and kissed her everywhere. Eventually we ended up in your standard missionary with our clothes on and I dry jumped her like we were in middle school. I used my hand on her and jerked off a little while I did it. My erection cycled between raging and non-existent. Occasionally I’d penetrate her then take it out. It became clear that “without expectation” would be hard. She wanted to have sex. It was at that point the erection started fading. Stupid. Anyways, this is not a story of defeat. We made noticeable progress last night. I could have came several times throughout and did not. I woke up this morning and felt horny for the first time since I can remember. I felt like an actual human man this morning.
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Gentlemen, yesterday was a good day. Work was the right amount of busy. Not so much to do that you want to rip your face off. Not so slow that…….you want to rip your face off. A nice amount to settle into a flow and produce.

left a bit early to pick her and our youngest son up. Dropped him off with my mom and she put unknown coordinates into the gps. All I did was follow where Siri told me to go. We ended up in a small little town about an hour away from home. Valet parking….oh shit ain’t we fancy. Anyways. We had a really nice dinner. Shrimp and lobster for me and pasta for her. After dinner we went to a glass blowing workshop. Glass blowing post-covid involves no actual blowing of glass, and the instructor helping us did the bulk of the work but it was cool as shit.

we came home to watch a movie. She’s a long sleeves and sweat pants to bed kind of girl. Tonight she was wearing my favorite black panties and a black semi-see through tank top. Omg she’s hot. All of a sudden, the thought occurred to me to stop fucking thinking so much. Which…..turns out was a good idea. I had to have her right then and there. I hadn’t felt that feeling in fucking years. I haven’t had the courage to actually initiate (confidently) with her since before erections we’re even an issue. For lack of a better description, I took her. Right there. On the spot. There was no viagra. There was no insane amount of foreplay just to get half a boner. Just her and my body’s reaction to her. The universe faded into the background and the only thing that existed was us. I know I’m supposed to be avoiding orgasm right now. But….that plan didn’t work out so great. My skills were not at all what they used to be and I did not last long enough for her to climax….or I should say, every time she would start getting close I would get too excited and have to stop to avoid finishing. Eventually, I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
We finally got around to our movie and went to bed.
Woke up this morning and we did it again. Yo….I don’t remember the last time we had sex before bed and in the morning without the lingering effects of sildenafil from the night before.
I’m not at all sure that having two orgasms in 6 hours was a good idea. I may be paying the price for that later. But right now I feel fucking great. She’s gone for the day at an event with our oldest. Gonna get some meditation in and get ready for the day.
There is not a doubt in my mind that we are going in the right direction. I’m sure there are hard days still ahead though.

These past hundred and however many days have been one of the strangest times of my life. Insane emotional ups and downs. Uncertainty and depression. Anxiety. Shriveled cock and fear. It’s been a ride.

Yesterday I woke up and felt horny for the first time in forever. Yesterday I felt like a man for the first time in forever. Yesterday I felt different than I’ve felt in a long time. Yesterday I felt like a husband to his wife. I’ve been waiting for that.

I’m sorry for the long ass post. Hopefully someone pulls some hope from this. It is possible to get better. I’m not there yet and I’ll probably be back here freaking out when these two orgasms I had send me into a huge flatline lol. But I am absolutely, 10000% without a doubt better than I was when I started this journey back in September.
 

LionHeart

Member
Gentlemen, yesterday was a good day. Work was the right amount of busy. Not so much to do that you want to rip your face off. Not so slow that…….you want to rip your face off. A nice amount to settle into a flow and produce.

left a bit early to pick her and our youngest son up. Dropped him off with my mom and she put unknown coordinates into the gps. All I did was follow where Siri told me to go. We ended up in a small little town about an hour away from home. Valet parking….oh shit ain’t we fancy. Anyways. We had a really nice dinner. Shrimp and lobster for me and pasta for her. After dinner we went to a glass blowing workshop. Glass blowing post-covid involves no actual blowing of glass, and the instructor helping us did the bulk of the work but it was cool as shit.

we came home to watch a movie. She’s a long sleeves and sweat pants to bed kind of girl. Tonight she was wearing my favorite black panties and a black semi-see through tank top. Omg she’s hot. All of a sudden, the thought occurred to me to stop fucking thinking so much. Which…..turns out was a good idea. I had to have her right then and there. I hadn’t felt that feeling in fucking years. I haven’t had the courage to actually initiate (confidently) with her since before erections we’re even an issue. For lack of a better description, I took her. Right there. On the spot. There was no viagra. There was no insane amount of foreplay just to get half a boner. Just her and my body’s reaction to her. The universe faded into the background and the only thing that existed was us. I know I’m supposed to be avoiding orgasm right now. But….that plan didn’t work out so great. My skills were not at all what they used to be and I did not last long enough for her to climax….or I should say, every time she would start getting close I would get too excited and have to stop to avoid finishing. Eventually, I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
We finally got around to our movie and went to bed.
Woke up this morning and we did it again. Yo….I don’t remember the last time we had sex before bed and in the morning without the lingering effects of sildenafil from the night before.
I’m not at all sure that having two orgasms in 6 hours was a good idea. I may be paying the price for that later. But right now I feel fucking great. She’s gone for the day at an event with our oldest. Gonna get some meditation in and get ready for the day.
There is not a doubt in my mind that we are going in the right direction. I’m sure there are hard days still ahead though.

These past hundred and however many days have been one of the strangest times of my life. Insane emotional ups and downs. Uncertainty and depression. Anxiety. Shriveled cock and fear. It’s been a ride.

Yesterday I woke up and felt horny for the first time in forever. Yesterday I felt like a man for the first time in forever. Yesterday I felt different than I’ve felt in a long time. Yesterday I felt like a husband to his wife. I’ve been waiting for that.

I’m sorry for the long ass post. Hopefully someone pulls some hope from this. It is possible to get better. I’m not there yet and I’ll probably be back here freaking out when these two orgasms I had send me into a huge flatline lol. But I am absolutely, 10000% without a doubt better than I was when I started this journey back in September.
Sweet!! Clear signs of reboot doing magic for you. I know what you mean when u say "feel man and feel husband". I have those feelings as well. I have gained huge ammount of respect towards my lady chieftain. What an amazing woman she is. I feel like she's my woman! And vice versa, i'm her man. MAN written with a capital letters. Not some pathetic wanker boy who doesn't know what he's doing coz of the brain fog and lack of motivation to do anything. Now it feels like there's a man in da house. It's a nice feeling when she's checking me out from head to toes and many times her eyes get stuck staring at my bulge lol 🤪 she's crazy.. utterly crazy.
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Sweet!! Clear signs of reboot doing magic for you. I know what you mean when u say "feel man and feel husband". I have those feelings as well. I have gained huge ammount of respect towards my lady chieftain. What an amazing woman she is. I feel like she's my woman! And vice versa, i'm her man. MAN written with a capital letters. Not some pathetic wanker boy who doesn't know what he's doing coz of the brain fog and lack of motivation to do anything. Now it feels like there's a man in da house. It's a nice feeling when she's checking me out from head to toes and many times her eyes get stuck staring at my bulge lol 🤪 she's crazy.. utterly crazy.
It’s a good feeling to know you’ve found your person. Without question, she is mine.
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Day 100something. The wife has tested positive for covid. I feel terrible. Hopefully she's home sleeping feeling ok.
Not a whole lot else to report. I MO'd yesterday morning for the first time in weeks. I woke up from what I believe was almost a WD. Woke up right before I finished. I just went ahead and finished it off. Not sure how I feel about that. Indifferent really .
 
Day 100something. The wife has tested positive for covid. I feel terrible. Hopefully she's home sleeping feeling ok.
Not a whole lot else to report. I MO'd yesterday morning for the first time in weeks. I woke up from what I believe was almost a WD. Woke up right before I finished. I just went ahead and finished it off. Not sure how I feel about that. Indifferent really .
Sorry to hear that. Hope she recovers soon.

Reboot is a wonderful thing! What is important now is not to slip up and relapse. So glad to know you are rediscovering yourself and your wife.
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Sorry to hear that. Hope she recovers soon.

Reboot is a wonderful thing! What is important now is not to slip up and relapse. So glad to know you are rediscovering yourself and your wife.
Thanks! I'm not overly concerned about PMO relapse. Aware that it's a potential piitfall, but aside from that not much else. PIED is enough motivation to never look at the shit again. MO on the other hand I'm still undecided on. On one hand I don't really see the problem with it. On the other, it's nice having 100% of my sexual energy directed toward my spouse. Being a little revved up makes everyday tasks with her more fun and flirty. I'm much more inclined to "engage in the dance" so to speak and I like the slow build of sexual tension between us.

Thanks for the support. Were you a yogi before the reboot or did you discover yoga after you started?
 
Thanks! I'm not overly concerned about PMO relapse. Aware that it's a potential piitfall, but aside from that not much else. PIED is enough motivation to never look at the shit again. MO on the other hand I'm still undecided on. On one hand I don't really see the problem with it. On the other, it's nice having 100% of my sexual energy directed toward my spouse. Being a little revved up makes everyday tasks with her more fun and flirty. I'm much more inclined to "engage in the dance" so to speak and I like the slow build of sexual tension between us.

Thanks for the support. Were you a yogi before the reboot or did you discover yoga after you started?
I'm not a yogi in the typical sense of Western portrayal of yoga.
We Indians use "yog" to mean several spiritual things, whose common theme is always "Personal Spiritual Transformation".

If you are doing any practise or endeavour that makes you a better human being and leads to "Personal Spiritual Transformation" then that's Yog.

Yog in Sanskrit originally means " Union with the Divine".

Every person who struggles against porn addiction and adopts practices to break free from it is, in some way, a yogi.
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
I'm not a yogi in the typical sense of Western portrayal of yoga.
We Indians use "yog" to mean several spiritual things, whose common theme is always "Personal Spiritual Transformation".

If you are doing any practise or endeavour that makes you a better human being and leads to "Personal Spiritual Transformation" then that's Yog.

Yog in Sanskrit originally means " Union with the Divine".

Every person who struggles against porn addiction and adopts practices to break free from it is, in some way, a yogi.
I’m very happy to have learned that. Thank you!
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Ok so here we are. Right around day 114. For the first time since I’ve started my reboot I am fighting urges to watch pornography. Wife is sick, covid so I’ve been sleeping on the couch instead of being with her. I think that has something to do with it. These thoughts are not good.
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Go crazy man, lock yourself in a closet and do what you must. It is not worth it! Trust me.
Oh I'm not going to relapse. There's no way. I just had successful sex for the first time in forever less than a week ago. I'm not risking the progress we've made. No chance. I'm just pissed that I want to. This is literally the first time since I started this that I've felt the desire to look. It's dumb
 

Blondie

Well-Known Member
Okay good to hear, just making sure. Yeah it sucks that porn is the first thing we think about when we feel down or pissed, but it is what is I guess. Either way, stay strong brother!
 

LionHeart

Member
Oh I'm not going to relapse. There's no way. I just had successful sex for the first time in forever less than a week ago. I'm not risking the progress we've made. No chance. I'm just pissed that I want to. This is literally the first time since I started this that I've felt the desire to look. It's dumb
Determination of a man is solid . Set in stone. No way in hell it is even an option to crawl back into the grim dungeon of porn sites!

... but ofcourse you want to! It's the fucking beast lurking in the corners of your mind! The devil who's grinning in the shadows! Sweet talking to you and trying to make you change your mind! But we are better than that! We have determination. We don't bow down to devil when there's an angel next to us :)

Edit: just wanted to say i'm no religious. I'm hardcore atheist lol
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Okay good to hear, just making sure. Yeah it sucks that porn is the first thing we think about when we feel down or pissed, but it is what is I guess. Either way, stay strong brother!
Thanks for checking man. I do appreciate it. Yeah, it's not an option. I think about it....sounds like a good time. Then, I remember how FUCKING TERRIBLE it feels when my wife wants to "spend time together" and instead she goes to bed disappointed.
 
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