Thoughts and observations

[CBU]

I am now PMO free for 61 Days. I think I am in some sort of flatline since I rarely get morning wood and it lasts only for 30-60 seconds if so. I also seem to get turned on by fantasizing about rough sex with hot women. For example today at the gym I was checking out and lusting a fitness chick. Do you think this kind of fantasizing is porn addiction related or is it just what men normally do when they see beautiful women working out?

All in all I feel more grounded, no brain fog and much less shame since I stopped watching porn. I have better connection also with my friends and family. Only thing that bothers me is that I find it difficult to pick up women from bars. I have this strange conflict in my mind that in one hand I would like to settle down and find a girlfriend but on the other hand I would like to pick up women from bars and have lots of one night stands. Can anyone relate to this and could this be porn related somehow?

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

It's definitely the brainwashing of porn. Keep going with the streak, don't touch porn at all costs and you will heal. 61 days are a very good start.

 

[CBU]

Thank you for the support. I will try and stay strong.

 

[Fappy]

could be porn related. your mind may still be trying to trick you into giving it one of those sweet porn dopamine hits, so its distorting your perception of women. porn defiantely fucks up the way you look at women, turns you into a bit of a man-slut, and you see women only in terms of what itd be like to stuff yourself into one fo their holes. its not a healthy view, but such is the extent to which porn has fucked our brains.
continue with theexcellent streak and youll probably feel less conflicted

 

[Carl_Smith]

I'm at 114 days and the lust like that is dropping a little, but I've been pretty mindful about it. I'm probably 50% better in this area than I used to be. One good comment I read lately: A woman was saying her man shouldn't lust after other women, but that alone isn't grounds for divorce either. So I give myself some grace. Keep it going, you'll get used to dwelling in your frontal lobe more and more.

 

[CBU]

Thanks for the helpful comments. I have watched porn since maybe age 12 or 13 and I'm now 31 so my perception of women and sex has been somewhat messed up my entire youth and adulthood. This process has been very interesting and it has made me think what is porn related and what is my natural sexual desire. It feels like I am learning each day more of myself and my mind.

 

[doneatlast]

Yeah, when you're trying to quit porn then EVERYTHING around you is a porn trigger. You have seen so many naked bodies that you can very easily see the girls at the gym and imagine, probably to a very high accuracy, what they'd look like naked and in some sort of sex act. Before you know it, your brain is halfway to watching a porn video of this woman that (probably) only exists in your mind. It isn't easy to avoid.

The good news is that is wears off eventually. I thought of it like this: during porn, seeing women was like seeing a collage of body parts - boobs, butts, whatever, and my eyes would just dark from picture to picture. Eventually I saw women as a complete thing. Sometimes there is talk of the "super power" of being able to interact with women better and women being more sociable, and I think this is why. Women are pretty intuitive with this stuff and can tell when they're being looked at that way, even if they can't fully articulate it.