I can't even think straight

onion

Member
Hello, I am currently a 14 year old in high school, I have been addicted since I was 9 years old. I am so addicted that I can't even think straight. I need help. I can't find the strength to even tell anyone in real life because it's so embarrassing. It drains all the energy out of me, it drains all the discipline out of me, the creativity. Everything. I've kept trying every now and then, I keep telling myself this time it'll be different, it never is different. I can never last longer than 5 days. It sucks so much. I hate it. I want to exercise to keep my mind off it but I'm too tired to do it. I want to study and try to get good grades, I'm too tired. I want to commit to things, I'm too tired. I just need someone to tell me that I can do it, I need someone to help me throughout my journey. I hate that I'm like this, I hate that I can't quit and I hate that everything is coming at me at once. I'm probably gonna regret posting this later but right now I just can't bare it. Everything is so cold, every little thing is so annoying, I can't focus on something for more than a few seconds, my grades are declining. Honestly I really hope this journal will keep me in line
 

Carl_Smith

Active Member
The dopamine addiction absolutely kills your energy and motivation, gives you brain fog, etc. Really sorry to hear you got caught in the trap at 9. But the good news is, I think you can recover and start to feel great again.
 
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Carl_Smith

Active Member
Can I suggest this guide? https://pad.clearboards.net/ It has a lot of science about the steps and reasons for quitting. Let me know if you have any questions on it.

Basically I have seen 3 ways to quit: 1) pray about it, 2) white knuckle it for 90+ days, 3) train your mind for 3 days, then you will want to quit. My guide is about option 3). But whatever way you decide, I hope it works for you. Porn is just like a drug addiction IMHO, and you can become free from it once you truly see that you are basically a druggie. (And don't feel bad, we ALL fell into the porn trap, it's not something we chose).
 
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onion

Member
Can I suggest this guide? https://pad.clearboards.net/ It has a lot of science about the steps and reasons for quitting. Let me know if you have any questions on it.

Basically I have seen 3 ways to quit: 1) pray about it, 2) white knuckle it for 90+ days, 3) train your mind for 3 days, then you will want to quit. My guide is about option 3). But whatever way you decide, I hope it works for you. Porn is just like a drug addiction IMHO, and you can become free from it once you truly see that you are basically a druggie. (And don't feel bad, we ALL fell into the porn trap, it's not something we chose).
Hopefully you're right, I'll give your method a try.
 
Hi, onion.

I am sorry that you go through this but you are not alone. It is already a very good step that you realized the problem and that you are trying to find a solution. I wish I has made the realization when I was at your age or at least a little bit later.

On one hand, your generation has the bad luck to live in an era of high-speed internet and all the different social media as well as a different way of life in general.

On the other hand, you are at the same time lucky that you live in an era in which the problem has been identified. When I was your age, the internet was still at its beginning and the process of getting addicted to porn was thus slower but maybe for that reason more dangerous as it was established over many many years without showing it signs.

In your place, I would first try to figure out what are the situations and the ways in which your addiction wins. Then, you could see how you could change these so that you do not relapse.

Personally, I have tried to install a porn filter (freeware) on my smartphone and laptop. I have written "tried" because I have deactivated them sometimes. As you usually have to register by email, it is easy to reset the password. To deal with this, I had made an email address just for this reason and chose a really random password for both the filter and the email itself so that I could not remember them by heart. I just wrote them down on paper (in case some other harmless functions were affected by the filter) and hid the paper somewhere where I could not easily access it. For me, it turned out that this kind of obstacle was enough most of the time to control my urge. Further, there are some reboot/stop porn addiction applications that have helped me stay away from porn for several days.

If you are in your room, I would suggest you do not close the door. If the door is open, then you will not be able to relapse. Try to seek real connections with people, go out with friends instead of sitting in front of a computer. You are still young and you can change it!

I know it is difficult to talk to your parents but it may be the best way to find someone you trust and ask for help.

In any case, I am sure that you can do it on your own and that you will get your life back!

Take care
 

onion

Member
Dammit, I just fucking relapsed but like using the method has taken me farther than I ever have before. Even still I can’t fucking believe I relapsed. I loved having this feeling of euphoria and clarity. But now it’s gone. Sometimes I forget almost everything that should’ve helped me control my urge because I’m so focused on just letting it happen. Please, give me some tips please?
Can I suggest this guide? https://pad.clearboards.net/ It has a lot of science about the steps and reasons for quitting. Let me know if you have any questions on it.

Basically I have seen 3 ways to quit: 1) pray about it, 2) white knuckle it for 90+ days, 3) train your mind for 3 days, then you will want to quit. My guide is about option 3). But whatever way you decide, I hope it works for you. Porn is just like a drug addiction IMHO, and you can become free from it once you truly see that you are basically a druggie. (And don't feel bad, we ALL fell into the porn trap, it's not something we chose).
 

Carl_Smith

Active Member
Sorry you relapsed but don't beat yourself up... that feeling of sadness just makes you crave your current habit. Just ask yourself what you got out of using it again.

I can tell you that your habits will change after 3-4 months.. and that's really not a long time. It's barely over a season. So by the middle of spring you can feel like a new person, and have a new autopilot. Every month your brain will feel even better. Good luck.
 

Carl_Smith

Active Member
I added this to my guide.:

Habit​

A part of your brain, the basal ganglia, is your autopilot. It does things without you thinking about it, like navigating to places you’ve driven to frequently.

You should expect 3–4 months for your “autopilot” to completely forget about using porn. You may think that is a long time, but it’s not. It’s barely longer than a season, such as spring or summer. A season will be gone before you know it, and then you will feel and behave like a completely different person.
 

Carl_Smith

Active Member
One last tip.. you mentioned you're euphoric.. I was quite happy too when I quit and it made me want to fap for a while.. just do it from memory/imagination/feeling until you settle down...
 

onion

Member
One last tip.. you mentioned you're euphoric.. I was quite happy too when I quit and it made me want to fap for a while.. just do it from memory/imagination/feeling until you settle down...
Thank you so much for your advice, I really hope to recover some day.
 

Carl_Smith

Active Member
I hope you do too. I posted this in another thread, but if you are 14, your brain still is not going to be fully mature probably until age 24. That is when mine matured. That is what science now finds as the average age when male brains finish frontal cortex development (e.g. rational brain). So expect to do more crazy stuff in your future years, but I hope that excludes porn / drugs.

Added https://flying-eagle-method.org/#maturity with details.
 
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onion

Member
Hello, I’ve kept going at it, to try to quit. But my track record begins to look worse day by day. The main problem I have is that I can’t distract myself once I get an urge. I tried to be positive. But sadly I went right back to my old self again. I don’t know how I did it before. Having that mindset now seems like so much work, and I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m right back how I felt when I first made this post. It’s so difficult to be positive because the more and more I relapse the more negative I get and it’s just a vicious cycle. Any tips or suggestions to combat urges? Thanks in advance
 

Carl_Smith

Active Member
Can you talk to your parents about this, and they can limit your access for at least a 4 month reboot? Basically, you have to quit yourself (and feel good about it, with a positive mindset), or have others help/force you , like "rehab".

When I was 19, I was depressed due to video games and porn (which I stayed up until 3 am doing). I dropped out of college. I ended up staying in a hospital for a few weeks and just by limiting my access to technology, my depression got better. Good luck.
 
Here's a trick on blocking that flith
Download applock master from playstore( doesnt matter which applock u use, SO LONG AS IT HAS AN **DISABLE UNINSTALL** option)
2. Get into the app put a dummy password for now, it will prompt u for ur email incase u lose ur password, SKIP THAT, u must not have access to ur password at all cost
3. Go into the apps settings and disable *unlock app with fingerprint* and enable *prevent uninstalling*
*important* : problem is that even tho u put the disable installation option u can still uninstall it using ur phone's settings app. This is why we will lock that app using the AppLock master
*important 2* when u restart ur phone, the Applock will take some time before actually blocking access to the apps unless u put in the password and this take us to our 5th step
5. Change ur phone's password(keep ur fingerprint tho), but ur not the one whose going to change it, tell someone whom u trust to change it(someone u trust), this way if u rly wanna watch, u cant restart ur phone and quickly get into ur settings app and uninstall that app. Locking all doors of access.
6. Go back into the applock master and lock the settings App.
7. Put a LONG password of 1's and 0's that u ill forget, this way u cant access the settings app nor the applock anymore.
8. Enjoy, now when u have an urge, u can simply uninstall/disable ur browser app/whtvr has the stuff u wanna watch(as well as playstore cuz obv u can reinstall it afterwards if u dont), wait until the urge goes away, go ask the person who has the password to quickly reboot ur phone and put in the password, so that u can go into the settings app and uninstall the appLock and reinstall the browser or whtvr apps u uninstalled. After that u simply redo the process of downloading the app ect ect.
*important 3* playstore has an option where u can actually deactivate/uninstall apps from it, so disable it when u get an urge as well
Warning ur brain might trick u, so when u get an urge u gotta rush to blocking the apps, before things get worse and ur desires completely take over ur brain.
stop using socialmedia, i uninstalled Instagram and tbh i dont regret, exchange it with any other thing u like to do,any hobbie, whtvr.

Get ur self a cat or a pigeon, or both, keep them with u 24/7, this way u never alone, and most of us get urges when they alone.
 
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