The Trigger of Failure
Brad Hambrick at Livingbyfaith noted the following: “When failure is our trigger for sexual sin, then sin becomes our success. In the fantasy world of sexual sin (porn, romance media, or adultery), you always win. You get the girl. You are the beauty who is rescued. No part of real-life can compete with the early success rate of sin. Sin pays upfront and costs in the back. Real success costs upfront and pays in the back. In healthy marriages, sacrifice is a primary part of the joy. As you give into sexual sin as a form of success, it will drive you to desire the kinds of successes that destroy a family.”
Pray: “Father, following Your ways will make me a success. Help me to despise short-term sinful pleasure and to focus on long-term joy.
He continues with “Negative Self-thoughts.” “When negative self-thoughts are our trigger for sin, then sin becomes our silencer. In sexual fantasy (porn, romance media, or adultery partner), we are always desired and see ourselves through the eyes of the one desiring us. We give ourselves to them not just physically but also imaginatively. Because we know the relationship is short-lived we are willing to do this.
Read Psalm 103: Sin (or even a healthy human relationship) will never do what only God can do. The ultimate “Peace, be still” to our negative self-thoughts is Christ’s death on the cross–affirming we were as bad as we thought, but replacing our deficiency with His righteousness.”
When we go to war with sin we start to understand and like ourselves more. God changes us and He changes our negative self-image.
He continues with Public, Sin as My Carnival:
“When public is our trigger to sexual sin, then sin becomes our carnival. We walk through life like a kid at an amusement park; gawking at every person we see like a new ride or romantic adventure, making a clownish sexual innuendo out of every comment, or treating everything present as if it existed to entertain us and stimulate us sexually. Our private thoughts of fantasy become fueled by a hyper-sexualized interpretation of our surroundings.
The act of looking at porn is itself part of the succor it purports to offer. I can search for women who are available to me. I can choose between them like some sovereign being. It offers a sense of control. –Tim Chester in
Closing the Window (p. 50)
Read Romans 1:24-25: Can you hear in the description of sex as my carnival what it means to have “exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator (v. 25)”? God will give us over to this kind of lustful heart (v. 24). This is why a radical amputation of sin is a necessary and wise response to prevent sexual sin from becoming our carnival (
Matt 5:27-30).”
Wow. I need to check if this passage in Romans is in the verses for quitting. It should be. I should try to memorize it.
Brad continues with Weakness (Sin as My Power).
“When weakness is our trigger to sexual sin, then sin becomes our power. The stimulation (both the physical and chemical changes associated with arousal) of sexual sin gives a façade of strength. Having another person delight in you also provides a veneer of significance. As with most of these motives/triggers, sex becomes a means to an end. Sex is no longer an expression of love but an attempt to gain something. That is
always a recipe for dysfunctional, unsatisfying sex.
My pastor has preached that the primary issue in adultery is that you want someone else to worship you and serve you, to be at your beck and call. That resonated with me. I could see that theme in my fantasies. –Anonymous testimony in David Powlison’s
Pornography: Slaying the Dragon (p. 15)”
Satan gives a rush of power to people who partake of his displays of witchcraft, openly demonic music, and porn, which is demonic by nature. This rush of power should give us a rush of fear. It is evidence that we are stuck in the middle of his web.
- When you see these triggers, stop. Panic, and go to war with all your might.
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