Day 17 clean.
I had intense sexual dreams all night. I woke up feeling restless, unfocused and in a pretty bad mood.
I didn't go to the gym and instead spent an hour on my phone. The longer I spend on social media, the more there's this build up of "want-to-jerk-off" energy. Not a good start to the day.
We've reigned things back in, planned the day, taken back control of the mind.
We're setting the intention for the day right here, right now. We're committing to another day porn-free. To look at porn or any porn substitute or even to let porn-like fantasies enter the head is to not fulfil this commitment.
One day at a time. The current day is the only thing we have to "win". The goal is to win the day.
I really don't want to relapse. I can't relapse, it takes too much from my life. Any restlessness, withdrawals, urges or side effects are better than having to put up with porn-addiction for the rest of my life.
FUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK PORNNNNNNNN. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK. FUCKKKK OFFFF.
See you tomorrow morning for another update to keep me accountable.