Hey @cookiemonster, I think it's real easy to overthink this stuff, especially coming from where you are (Maybe from where all of us are?) There's nothing wrong with getting out there and having some "fun", nor anything wrong with a good ol relationship. However, the reality is, porn has blinded us to the true realities of interacting with "real" people, thus, this reality takes a while to get use to. In this new reality, you'll have to negotiate with someone (a real person), if it's going to be casual or monogamous, or somewhere in between, say if one of you starts to feel something, or worse, have to break it off, if you lose that feeling. These things are realities that porn users never have to deal with, and this is one of the greatest dangers of porn use, because this reality is entirely missing from it. For example, if you wish to keep it casual and "have" 30 girls per day, no problem, just a click of a mouse and you can have your way. Or, If you're feeling more "conservative" and "monogamous" on another day, you can just pick your favorite girl and break up with the other 29 with just click of a mouse, no nasty feelings or uncomfortable explanations necessary. This is the great problem with all this bullshit, because it actually makes us think the real world should be this way.I'm also frustrated about this whole dating business. I'll just be candid as ridiculous as things may sound because this is the simplified version of things. There are many attractive girls out there, why am I not having sex with them? Why am I stuck in this limbo between being too conservative for pure transactional sex and too progressive to be content with settling down into a monogamous relationship?
My advice to you is this, try not to overthink this stuff, and if you want a woman you see in front of you, go for it. Maybe you'll find one night was enough, or maybe you'll want something more, or maybe you'll want to take it slow with no sex at first. None of these options are bad. Of course, that's just you, you'll have another human to think about on the other side. She might lose interest after the first night, or she might be more interested, while you're unsure, thus, you'll have to talk about it. Welcome to being human again!
These are all realities of reality. The only rules are:
1. Never misrepresent, always tell a woman where you're at.
2. If casual, safe sex IS the only way to go.
3. Learn how to communicate, not only to someone else, but to yourself as well. What do you actually want and feel?
4. It's okay to change your mind.
5. Fuck porn. Porn is Not an Option.