Congrats man!! This is really good news and im very happy for you!Thanks. Really good advice. It does help when I go back and look through the journal and see all of the tough days I made it through.
Exam went well. I prepared well and things went as well as one can hope under exam conditions. You can only control what you can control.
Today I hung out with that girl I've been hanging out with and I had a good time. Today was a little more playful with more touch. We were hanging out in public so what I'm talking about really is just sitting together, her leaning her head on me from time to time, etc.. just closer proximity in general. I found myself getting erections from this stuff alone, I guess it's not so surprising given I haven't PMO'd nor MO'd for over 100 days. I also found when I went to the bathroom later I had a lot of precum in my pants. I guess sorry for details but it's interesting to document.
I'm going to bed a bit stressed tonight because of family stuff. I'll journal, read and then go to sleep for what will hopefully be an exciting day tomorrow.
I played games on my phone for maybe 45 minutes tonight. I guess I thought I'd relax after exams. To be honest I didn't enjoy it very much and didn't like how lazy it made me feel afterwards. I had the normal human reaction of recognising this and then just stopping. I'm pleased to say that I think I'm way less addicted to games on my phone than porn. I can control it basically. So I will go back to not playing games on my phone and committing to that each morning because it makes my life better. Plus there's no better test of whether I can control it by saying: okay, don't do it then!
Fuck porn. I can't believe that I could still relapse so easily this far out from day 0. At this point it would probably be a "curiosity killed the cat" incident but those are really when we just lie to ourselves and let things slip.
Not sure when I'll be turning the page to a new chapter. At this point it feels like I'm on a perpetual road of no PMO, no MO, but I do wonder when I'm going to be intimate with someone.
Goodnight. See you tomorrow. Don't play with dick in bed.