ChasingMyDreams
Member
You can be proud of yourself for being truthful. Recognizing your mistakes is the first step on the path to the best version of yourself.
You can beat it!My experience during this reboot has been kind of different to the first one I did.
In my first reboot everything was new territory. I reached 4 weeks no PMO and was amazed because it was the first time I'd done it in several years.
Now I've reached 4 weeks and it's no big deal. That's fine. I don't want it to be a big deal, I want this to be no pmo forever.
Right now was the key moment when things started to go wrong in my first reboot. I started erection testing and was ecstatic by how much everything had improved. This time around, I'm finally experiencing what I think people call the flatline (but only sort of).
I've had some sexual dreams. In fact I think most nights recently have had a sexual dream. The same thing happened last streak. I think it's a positive thing, it feels like my brain is healing and moving through things.
I hope I've learned from last time. Last time I trace my relapse all the way back to week 4/week 5 where I started touching my dick again. I have to keep going not touching my dick, other than in the shower and urinating. I have to not let any stimulation awaken the beast haha. I have to trust that everything is healing (last time at this point my erections were mostly recovered) without checking.
good for you @cookiemonster.Tough day today.
Spent all day playing games on my phone instead of dealing with my uni assignments coming up.
Feel really shit and it's days like this where I'm closer to relapse. Not because I'm tempted or anything but because I think the porn-use habit is associated with feelings of stress and overwhelm (i.e. PMO to release tension).
I need to reframe doing my uni assignments not as an activity for uni and instead as an activity to avoid relapsing and maybe I'll actually do them hahah.
Found myself 'erection testing' in the shower today so I'm slipping a little. This is what led to relapse in my last streak. On a positive note my dick can get pretty hard to touch alone (no surprises after the last reboot). On a negative note, I need to cut this out.
Coming up on 6 weeks no PMO soon.
Thanks Ezelgood for you @cookiemonster.
i get the same feelings (stress, boredom).
my brain is making me feel that way to get me back to pmo, but instead I do anything (that doesn't include porn) to relieve the stress, it's not always something that's useful, sometimes I go binge-watching youtube videos to kind of relieve that stress (which can get risky sometimes).
man our brains are magnificent and stupid at the same time, as long as the thing and the habit you are doing is giving your brain dopamine, it doesn't care that much if it is healthy and meaningful or not.
i can see that you like Goggins, me too. he always says that on the other side of suffering you can find freedom and happiness.
same with the struggle of leaving porn, on the other side of it you will find freedom, we just have to trust the process and never give in.
you are doing great my man, keep on pushing...