Road to freedom

ladysudan

Active Member
I have mo'd 4 times in the last 24h, but no porn.

I can feel myself losing control though and my resolve and good habits slipping.

My dick works, but my erection strength has diminished with each mo.

I have learned from my last relapse. That is why I am posting here now. This is my circuit breaker. Last time things just got worse and worse until I watched porn again.

I have come so far in this streak, and i will be throwing it all away if I continue on my current trajectory.

I need to stabilize again. I don't normally do this but I'm going to set myself a short term goal.

For the next 3 days I will post here in the evening updating my progress. If I so much as MO I will consider that enough to reset my streak. I need to win this fight otherwise it will just decay into porn use again.

This is my final stand and I'm defending my freedom. If I win this battle I can see myself winning the war. This is an important few days.

To succeed I need to stop wasting my days procrastinating and instead get busy. That is key. At every cross road in the next few days I'm going to make the decision I know to be right. There's a lot riding on it.

FuckkkkkkKKKKK
I wish to see you winning! If you ever came across some days...just message me privately...85% chances are there I might reply soon. I'll be there.😊
 

cookiemonster

Active Member
1 day down no mo. Still no porn so streak is alive.

I've been in the foulest mood today.

Feeling like I'm gaining back control.

Going to keep my head down and update tomorrow.
 

cookiemonster

Active Member
If I can make it through the next few weeks I can see myself overcoming this addiction.

Soon I am going to be moving out for several months and living is close proximity with flatmates and also some people who for now are strangers. This will make masturbating actually quite difficult to do in private. I've already clocked up many weeks of good habits, if I can feed this streak into the next several months of changed living arrangements then I can see this catapulting me into a year of no porn very quickly.

A lot to fight for.
 

ADFECTATIO

Member
Man awesome journey you are on!! It was great reading through all these months and seeing how you thought about MO in your first reboot and how it slowly but deadly led to your relapse. Really interesting!
Glad to see you're on track and I wish you all the best :)
 

cookiemonster

Active Member
Yeah that's pretty much what I need to stay aware of for success now I think.

Having said that, I MO'd twice today since I finished my 3 day circuit breaker.

I'm going to do the same thing but up the ante now. For the next two weeks if I MO that counts as a relapse and I reset the streak.

Once I get through the next two weeks I'm moving out as I mentioned so this will feed me into ongoing sucess.
 

Ezel

Well-Known Member
Good to see you doing well cookie 👍☺️, 2+ months of no porn isn't easy to get to, but it's not impossible either.
Congratulations 👏🎉 on your achievement 😊 and wishing you to get to 3 months of no porn...
Peace ✌️ brother and keep going 🤗
 

cookiemonster

Active Member
9 weeks no pmo which is fantastic.

Feeling like I'm going to make it out of this thing. Just need to hold on for a couple more weeks and then the streak should take care of itself and recovery will progress naturally when I move out.
 

cookiemonster

Active Member
Getting to a weird stage of the reboot where everything feels easier but somehow still the same and just as difficult as it's always been. I know that makes no sense as a sentence but I'll elaborate.

I still find myself getting triggered by social media posts and I still can feel how easy it would be to slip back into consuming porn. I can physically feel the old poisonous pathways activate if I'm not careful. But now my default habit is to not watch porn and I would have to indulge an urge to break that. It would be unusual to watch porn, it's no longer something I do. So as much as I'm triggered and drawn into pictures of girls online, etc, I have broken the habit enough that my default response is to stay away from porn. That being said, it would be all to easy to undo my good work. I've made it here before and relapsed.

My eyes have lingered a little longer than I would have liked recently when triggered but we haven't come close to relapse. I'm committed to my no MO for two weeks now once I said I'd reset the streak if I MO'd too.

Things are going well overall and I can see myself getting out. Although I know how these things work and tomorrow I could easily be here saying "today is so hard and urges are so strong".

Anyway, just keep my head down, ignore triggers, don't play with my dick and don't PMO nor MO is the commitment.

One day soon I'll be with a real girl.
 

ADFECTATIO

Member
Yes - you can do it!
From reading your posts here, I think you are making great progress and I wish you all the best luck for your realtionship with a girl :)

Maybe deleting your social media could be helpful? Have you ever asked yourself, what value it's giving you?
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Getting to a weird stage of the reboot where everything feels easier but somehow still the same and just as difficult as it's always been. I know that makes no sense as a sentence but I'll elaborate.

I still find myself getting triggered by social media posts and I still can feel how easy it would be to slip back into consuming porn. I can physically feel the old poisonous pathways activate if I'm not careful. But now my default habit is to not watch porn and I would have to indulge an urge to break that. It would be unusual to watch porn, it's no longer something I do. So as much as I'm triggered and drawn into pictures of girls online, etc, I have broken the habit enough that my default response is to stay away from porn. That being said, it would be all to easy to undo my good work. I've made it here before and relapsed.

My eyes have lingered a little longer than I would have liked recently when triggered but we haven't come close to relapse. I'm committed to my no MO for two weeks now once I said I'd reset the streak if I MO'd too.

Things are going well overall and I can see myself getting out. Although I know how these things work and tomorrow I could easily be here saying "today is so hard and urges are so strong".

Anyway, just keep my head down, ignore triggers, don't play with my dick and don't PMO nor MO is the commitment.

One day soon I'll be with a real girl.
Yes, I know how it works. I would look at some pictures, saying that I'm not there yet, it's not porn yet but it's part of the whole porn world we are in, it's part of the porn behavior. I am sure you already know this, playing too much with it can sabotage you big time. I would stay away from online pictures.
 

cookiemonster

Active Member
I have MO'd 3 times in the past two days but still not even close to looking at porn.

So I guess technically I should reset my streak but that's more of an emblematic move than anything that will make a difference to recovery.

I'm still healing and I find once I've MO'd like I have and then get it under control again I don't feel horny anymore for a while.

I feel like I'm healing still and making progress.

So I lost a battle, I commited to not MOing during this two week period and then ended up doing just that.

But the ultimatum I delivered myself did it's job by keeping me under control and making me not fly off the handle at least.

So I guess it's a loss but I actually still feel really good about where I am.

Not really worth actually resetting my streak counter because the reality is it's a counter for how long I've not looked at porn, which is still going strong.

Instead I have to make this post here and admit I didn't do what I said I'd do.

Anyway, I'm not going to argue semantics too much. Things are going well, I'm steering clear of porn but I clearly MO'd when I said I wouldn't.

I'm going to keep trying to not MO and fuck porn, not allowed to do that shit ever again.

Anyway, what happens to my streak doesn't matter. I'm going to keep living a porn-free life and that's my #1 priority.

Much better to post here and reengage than get any silly ideas.

Soon will be 10 weeks pmo free. (Even though I said I'd reset my streak because of MO haha)
 
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