Road to freedom

cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
I made it two weeks no PMO then relapsed yesterday.

Very hard to focus on the reboot while travelling but at the same time I don't think the reboot needs focus, it's good to get busy with life and let time away from porn take care of itself.

It's no good to keep using porn but I am at least happy that going two weeks without porn feels like nothing and is easy, that was unthinkable not long ago.

I will try to login here more frequently to keep on track. I'm good at avoiding porn now, once I commit it's becoming second nature and natural to avoid it for long periods of time.

So here I am writing to commit again. I don't want porn in my life. It gives me nothing but somehow it creeps it's way back in when I'm not vigilant.

Here we go again, geronomo or whatever it's called hahha. I'm in good spirits because I'm enjoying life and travelling is great. Porn isn't my whole life and never has been but it will be so much better once I cut it out for good.

Sidenote, I went dancing tonight and it made me realise how good touch feels. This might seem lame but I don't think we get much affection or touch as guys, just dancing with some girls was a real treat and very enjoyable. I miss it
 
R

Recovery Will Come

Active Member
cookiemonster said:
I made it two weeks no PMO then relapsed yesterday.

Very hard to focus on the reboot while travelling but at the same time I don't think the reboot needs focus, it's good to get busy with life and let time away from porn take care of itself.

It's no good to keep using porn but I am at least happy that going two weeks without porn feels like nothing and is easy, that was unthinkable not long ago.

I will try to login here more frequently to keep on track. I'm good at avoiding porn now, once I commit it's becoming second nature and natural to avoid it for long periods of time.

So here I am writing to commit again. I don't want porn in my life. It gives me nothing but somehow it creeps it's way back in when I'm not vigilant.

Here we go again, geronomo or whatever it's called hahha. I'm in good spirits because I'm enjoying life and travelling is great. Porn isn't my whole life and never has been but it will be so much better once I cut it out for good.

Sidenote, I went dancing tonight and it made me realise how good touch feels. This might seem lame but I don't think we get much affection or touch as guys, just dancing with some girls was a real treat and very enjoyable. I miss it
Click to expand...
Relapse can be terrible but it’s also a learning lesson.. Each time you relapse you’ll be stronger the next time and learn from the mistakes.. I’ve been relapsing for the past 8 years… But now I’m in the position where I can finally beat this poison for good and I’m going for it!!! You can do the same man…. It’s a dog fight but there’s a whole world waiting for you my dude.. Keep on trucking and bounce back with a relentless mindset!!! God bless
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
Dungalef said:
How's it going these days? 🙂
Click to expand...
Hey, not too bad, not too great.

I've been going through waves of 2 week streaks followed by relapse and binging.

I'm currently 2 weeks no PMO, no MO.

The past few months have been some of the most exciting and happy months of my life, so I'm happy about that. But I'm not happy that it's hard to kick the addiction and the longer it lingers around the more negative influence it will have.

I have a girl who is very clearly into me at the moment but I don't have the balls to pursue a sexual encounter because I'm worried I'll have PIED. That's what has given me the motivation to build up the streak this time. I think about whether I'd rather have an intimate encounter with a real person or jerk myself off and prevent that from happening.

I'll update here more often. It's hard to update when you're not doing too well kicking the addiction.
 
Last edited:
MapleSyrup

MapleSyrup

Member
cookiemonster said:
Hey, not too bad, not too great.

I've been going through waves of 2 week streaks followed by relapse and binging.

I'm currently 2 weeks no PMO, no MO.

The past few months have been some of the most exciting and happy months of my life, so I'm happy about that. But I'm not happy that it's hard to kick the addiction and the longer it lingers around the more negative influence it will have.

I have a girl who is very clearly into me at the moment but I don't have the balls to pursue a sexual encounter because I'm worried I'll have PIED. That's what has given me the motivation to build up the streak this time. I think about whether I'd rather have an intimate encounter with a real person or jerk myself off and prevent that from happening.

I'll update here more often. It's hard to update when you're not doing too well kicking the addiction.
Click to expand...
I can definitely relate to having alternate streaks and binging. Imo, the binging is the worst part, because I feel like that's what really undoes your progress. Just gotta keep going regardless of how long the streak is. Keep it up man!
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
I relapsed at 3 weeks.

Back on the horse. 1 day no PMO, no MO.

Starting to build up motivation, momentum and become prepared to make this the most important thing in my life again.

A half assed 3 weeks is better than nothing but it's time to refocus on kicking this addiction for good and start fighting the good fight. My old strategy of never touching my dick other than when going to the bathroom or very briefly when in the shower is the strategy. Also depriving my brain of any sexual thoughts of gazes will work wonders, need to starve the neural pathways.

It's shit that I'm still struggling with this. I have a girl who is clearly really into me at the moment and I just don't have the desire to make a move while all of this is going on. Really this should be the time for real "sexual development" but I'm still trying to kick this addiction.

I don't watch porn, that's not who I am anymore.

Here we go.
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
Not an easy business. Relapsed today.

Seems as soon as things start to get better I mess them up. I remember how much better things felt porn free. And it doesn't take much time at all to start feeling the benefits.

Here it goes again. I do not watch porn. That's not who I am anymore.

I have never done this but maybe I should set a counter to just see myself through the first few days to a week. Day 0.

Look forward to posting at the end of the day tomorrow with day 1.
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
Been going through streaks of a couple of weeks then relapse.

I don't watch porn anymore. That's not who I am anymore. Porn used to bring nothing positive to my life. Currently building up a streak and will keep updating as I keep beating this addiction's ass.

Back to the formula which originally brought success. Starving the mind of any sexual stimulation and letting it heal. No sexual thoughts, fight them from the very beginning and even when they appear benign. Don't touch the dick. It's so much easier to win these battles than further down the line when things snowball.

FUUUUUUCK PORN. GET OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE. Let's goooo!
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
Huge urges today.

A big problem, but not one which I can't handle.

Today I am going to be kind to myself and manage my self-talk well. It's perfectly normal for me to be feeling urges and there's nothing wrong with me for feeling them. But I am committed to coming out the other side of this, so the question is just about how best to manage myself today to come out tomorrow stronger and clean.

The answer is to take some draconian measures with my phone and social media usage today. It's been creeping up over the past week. Today my phone stays upstairs away from me and I will not be using any social media. Just too risky when you're having an off day. As ridiculous as this sounds to be so explicit, I'm not touching my dick except to go to the bathroom and all sexual thoughts will be gently directed away at their inception.

I'm doing well. I've been going to the gym every day for almost two weeks now. My passion projects are going well. Life is good.

I simply recognize that today has the potential to be a very very tough day because I'm working to overcome an addiction.

I don't watch porn anymore. That's not who I am anymore.

Looking forward to winning the day and wishing all fellow rebooters a smooth journey.

FUCK PORN!
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
I relapsed. I journaled about it last night. My life is great but porn is the major thing which keeps holding me back. It sucks away at my energy and productivity and partners/love in my life.

Fuck porn. That's not who I am anymore. That's not something I do anymore. The relapse is a lost battle but we have not lost the war.

I am going to do a daily update here each morning this week to guide me through the urges which will come after relapsing. Straight back up on the horse. The outcome of this reboot will be me never looking at porn again, no matter how long it takes.

I'm committed, I just need to keep improving at managing the "monkey brain" and the tricks it plays on you.

See you tomorrow.
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
Day 2 clean.

Can't express how much I'm ready to get porn out of my life.

I just got back from an early morning gym session. Smashed myself so much I can barely lift my arms up. Feels great.

Fuck porn, we're beating this thing. No matter how long it takes.

See you tomorrow.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top