Pornstars to hookers to freedom

Fapstar

Member
Day 12: I joined this forum 10 days ago but my back story first...
It goes back to when I was 10 year old. I was introduced to the idea of sex and porn for the first time then. I have a strict parent (not that I blame them for anything anymore) and soon I found my escape in porn. I used to watch porn and masturbate around three times per day for a long time. I was a smart kid back then but was always fatigued and had low energy. Used to fall asleep in my class but still managed to do decently in academics. This continued for a few years.
I come from a small town and was not very active with women though my friends did get involved but I didn't.
Fast forward to college days still the same low energy and enthusiasm was a bit depressed too. Lost my virginity on my 20th birthday in a massage parlor which I didn't enjoy probably due to PMO it was the first time I realised I had a problem. It did happen a few more times until I came across a video on YouTube( more than 3 years ago) about porn and its side effects. And Since then I don't remember how but I developed an interest in personal development. Have been trying since then to stop PMO but max could go upto 2months then haven't gone more than 10 days without pmo.
Fast forward today.
Last month went to a massage parlor( had sexual encounter after 2 years) had pe and did not enjoy anything and decided to put an end to PMO once and for all. Going to the city tomorrow and all I could think of is the massage parlour. I know I shouldn't be doing it but I don't know what am I going to do.
Please be free to share your thoughts.
 

Fapstar

Member
Day 14: two days update, day 13 and 14 were very difficult for me. I have never been this way before. Was very confused if I should or should not be going to the massage parlor. I had panic attacks and anxiety I have never experienced before in my life. My heart beat was very high for two days straight.
I wasn't able to control the temptations and went to the parlor today while the massage therapist insisted on me getting a massage first and then move on to any kind of extra service so no money talk happened. So while the massage was going on and the masseuse swifted her hands past my thighs slightly touching the sides of my groin I had a premature ejaculation. It was very embarrassing. And I still feel super depressed about it( or its just the hormones talking) but glad that I saved the money for any extra service and more so that it was not a proper orgasm and so I won't be resetting my count.
Now I am having urges of watching porn(heartbeat is still up and I am anxious too) and having a proper orgasm but I dont want to get into the chaser effect and binge on porn for a couple of days. I'd just try and go to sleep for now.
P.S. on day 13 I slept of late but got up early and wasn't able to sleep again due to all the anxiety.
Today I am making a decision of not going to the massage parlor anymore.
 

Fapstar

Member
Day 15: have brain fog post 12 noon up until evening don't know if its due to diet or porn. When I woke up in the morning it wasn't there. Still I am going to stay committed to no PMO.
 

Fapstar

Member
Day 43: I am going through a flat line right now and there is no libido for porn. But I am having intense craving and shiverings to visit a massage parlor. I want my porn poor effects to fade off as fast as possible so I am on no orgasm as well. I can't control visualisation of me visiting the parlor. The sensations are so strong that I feel I wont be able to control it anymore. I still want to commit to not having an orgasm. Last time I visited the parlor I did not feel good after my orgasm and was committed to not go there again as I suffered from premature ejaculation. I know I shouldn't be going there anymore but my brain is presenting it as an opportunity that I am not going to ever have again, which is definitely not true. I hope I dont fall into my temptations.
 

Fapstar

Member
Day 44: I fell into my temptations and visited the parlor. It was a horrible experience I ejaculated as soon as she got undressed and after that I wasn't able to get it up. And I didn't even feel aroused by kissing and stuff. It is not meant to happen again ever. This time I commit to complete celibacy until I meet a normal girl whom I would care for.
 

Fapstar

Member
Day 62: Its been 62 days since no pmo and I just feel amazing that I came this far. This has been the most number of days I have refrained from pmo since age 10. Last I did was of 2 months. This time though I feel I actually did it. I haven't felt the urge to watch porn from a long time though I think of sex sometimes but other than that there is no temptations whatsoever. I have very low libido right now too so that makes it even easier and it seems like I am going through a flat line which is great as it is healing my brain. I couldn't imagine how a month back I felt that time was moving so slow while today I feel I came a long way. Though I am a bit scared that when my libido is back or if I get drunk I might be tempted to it again. I feel I just can't risk any short term pleasure with my long term dreams. Stay well and happy.
 

Fapstar

Member
Day 69: thoughts about porn is crossing my mind a few times, but I am committed to celibacy so it doesn't matter how strong or weak the temptations are I am strong and self disciplined and can control my mind.
 

Fapstar

Member
Day 120: First of all I am proud of my self that I haven't fallen into my temptations and I am not going to PMO ever again. Though from 2-3 days I am having some urge again and I have been reading about a red light district near me so this is probably the reason. But I have no desire or feelings to do so its just a temptation or something else within me thats saying to go there. I know if I go there I wont be able to get it up as I have severe PE and PIED issues still. I did visit a massage parlor once again a few days ago as soon as she got undressed and we kissed I ejaculated and after that I wasn't able to get it up again for rest of the time. It is very dissatisfying for this to happen again and again. I am still having brain fog issues but its a different kind now it isn't due to porn but some glucose fluctuations that is happening. I feel screwed with all this that is happening to me. But I know I am going to get over all this. Little to no libido is kind of good as by the time I get good it might take a year or so and I can devote all this time to body, mind and spirit without any desperation. I am moving towards freedom and I am going to be free. Having sex with hookers are so dissatisfying that it just doesn't make sense if anybody is planning to do so.
 

Fapstar

Member
Around day 153: I relapsed last night. I got drunk and then ended up using porn for the first time in the last 5 months. I haven't reseted my count because it was just once that happened and I didn't look for novelty and I watched for 10 mins in total and that I have not binged on it. I was feeling anxious as I wanted to see and was not able to control. I didn't feel any arousal by actually the porn but rather than the story that actually exited me. Today morning when I woke up I am having thoughts of finishing up that storyline and don't know what I will do.
 

cookiemonster

Active Member
Stay strong!

10 minutes of looking at porn won't undo all of your good progress but the further you walk down that path the harder it will be to break yourself free.

Sending you support
 

Fapstar

Member
I don't know what day it is and I least care about it as well. But I have relapsed. Since last time almost from a month I have been on porn a couple of time not too many but enough to say it was a relapse. Today I ended up with a prostitute and she took really good care. But still there was this emptiness and that I did feel the pleasure that I was supposed to feel. If was definitely better than my previous encounters but it was not as if was supposed to be. I am confident 5 months of no porn did some good but at my condition I feel I have to go even longer and then will I be normal again. I commit to no pmo anymore.
 

Oscar40

Member
Day 14: two days update, day 13 and 14 were very difficult for me. I have never been this way before. Was very confused if I should or should not be going to the massage parlor. I had panic attacks and anxiety I have never experienced before in my life. My heart beat was very high for two days straight.
I wasn't able to control the temptations and went to the parlor today while the massage therapist insisted on me getting a massage first and then move on to any kind of extra service so no money talk happened. So while the massage was going on and the masseuse swifted her hands past my thighs slightly touching the sides of my groin I had a premature ejaculation. It was very embarrassing. And I still feel super depressed about it( or its just the hormones talking) but glad that I saved the money for any extra service and more so that it was not a proper orgasm and so I won't be resetting my count.
Now I am having urges of watching porn(heartbeat is still up and I am anxious too) and having a proper orgasm but I dont want to get into the chaser effect and binge on porn for a couple of days. I'd just try and go to sleep for now.
P.S. on day 13 I slept of late but got up early and wasn't able to sleep again due to all the anxiety.
Today I am making a decision of not going to the massage parlor anymore.


Hello

That depends on the culture you belong to.

I am from a Latin American country

Here, it is very normal to go to the prostitutes. In this country and in the rest of Latin America, prostitution is legal. In fact, HERE in Latin America the parents take their children to prostitutes to teach them how to have sex.

Warning: If you are located in a country where prostitution is not legal then don't go there. But, if you are in Latin America, feel free to visit the women you want and pay for it.


On the other hand:

The Pornography and the prostitution are two totally different things.

Prostitution has been around for a lifetime and has never left men with Erectile Disfunction. On the contrary, today's high-speed Internet porn with its high quality is a supernormal stimulus that can affect men's libido and sexual responsiveness.


My final ADVICE

PORN: Not at all, totally discard it from your activities. No porn.

PROSTITUTES AND MASSAGE ROOM: It depends on the country where you are. If you are in Latin America, you can perfectly look for prostitutes and even fall in love with one of them. But, if you are in another part of the world, please don't go there.
 
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