Amor Fati (Recovery Journal)

Jswizzle

Active Member
Learning New Behaviors

Sometimes we’ll take a few steps backward. That’s okay too. Sometimes it’s necessary. Sometimes it’s part of going forward.

—Codependent No More

Life is a Gentle Teacher. She wants to help us learn.

The lessons she wants to teach us are the ones we need to learn. Some say they are the lessons we chose to learn before we were born. Others say they are the lessons that were chosen for us.

It’s frustrating to be in the midst of learning. It is like sitting in algebra class, listening to a teacher explain a subject beyond our comprehension. We do not understand, but the teacher takes the understanding for granted.

It may feel like someone is torturing us with messages that we shall never understand. We strain and strain. We become angry. Frustrated. Confused. Finally, in despair, we turn away, deciding that that formula will never be available to our mind.

Later, while taking a quiet walk, we break through. Quietly, the gift of understanding has reached that deepest place in us. We understand. We have learned. The next day in class, it’s hard for us to imagine not knowing. It is hard to remember the frustration and confusion of those who have not yet caught on. It seems so easy… now.

Life is a Gentle Teacher. She will keep repeating the lesson until we learn. It is okay to become frustrated. Confused. Angry. Sometimes it is okay to despair. Then, it is okay to walk away and allow the breakthrough to come.

It shall.

Help me remember that frustration and confusion usually precede growth. If my situation is challenging me, it is because I’m learning something new, rising to a higher level of understanding. Help me be grateful, even in my frustration, that life is an exciting progression of lessons.

Quoted from the app Language of Letting Go.

Find recovery resources at Hazelden.
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
It's okay, Jswizzle! All our habits and patterns are subject to change. If possible, figure out a pattern to it, and what can be done differently. In my early 20's it came down to at least two things:

1. Where I placed my eyes during the day, not being carried away with lust;

2. Whenver I'd be tempted to MO, I'd use self-talk when my hands would start to travel ("No!"), or I'd start thinking about non-related stuff, whatever would "kill the buzz"- and I still use these tactics to this day if I need to.
 

Jswizzle

Active Member
It's okay, Jswizzle! All our habits and patterns are subject to change. If possible, figure out a pattern to it, and what can be done differently. In my early 20's it came down to at least two things:

1. Where I placed my eyes during the day, not being carried away with lust;

2. Whenver I'd be tempted to MO, I'd use self-talk when my hands would start to travel ("No!"), or I'd start thinking about non-related stuff, whatever would "kill the buzz"- and I still use these tactics to this day if I need to.
Thank you for your thoughts and support.
 
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